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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    (Have I mentioned that here because if not, that’s disturbingly accurate 😳)

    She refused to let us eat potatoes because potato lives matter too.
  • maplesyrupandchicken
    maplesyrupandchicken Posts: 92 Member
    Could put a whole potato in her mouth... Wait... maybe that wasn't such a bad thing...
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    edited May 22
    He kept breaking up with me over the weirdest things. But I swear this is the last time!! “Don’t choke on your food, Cat. It’s unattractive and unladylike.” Gosh, I’ll choke on potatoes, if I want to. You’re not the boss of me!! 😤
  • maplesyrupandchicken
    maplesyrupandchicken Posts: 92 Member
    She all of the sudden quit choking on "potatoes" and i knew she had been fake gagging all along. I don't need that in my life.
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,026 Member
    He kept his true self hidden from everyone...
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    She was having an identity crisis. One day a lovely woman in B&W, the next a coffee cup, and then a cardboard box. I truly could not keep up.

    (Happy you’re back to yourself, my friend)
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,249 Member
    I would never. But I may threaten to if she doesn’t come at me with the voice messages I was led to believe I was getting.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    I sent her the voice message that she demanded. She said my voice made her think of her great aunt Edna who smoked 27 packages of cigarettes each day and passed in 1988. She could no longer be with me as it hurt too much to be reminded of her. 😭
  • AdahPotatah2024
    AdahPotatah2024 Posts: 2,447 Member
    I asked for a sexy voice message and she sent me audio clips of the Simpsons Marge's sisters.
  • maplesyrupandchicken
    maplesyrupandchicken Posts: 92 Member
    I found out her and @Cat0703a were sending each other cartoon porn, and smoking cigarettes.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He couldn’t appreciate art that was deeply meaningful, provocative and erotic.
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,026 Member
    She couldn't put up with my travel schedule
  • maplesyrupandchicken
    maplesyrupandchicken Posts: 92 Member
    She was always out of town and would never let me go with her.
  • AdahPotatah2024
    AdahPotatah2024 Posts: 2,447 Member
    He complained that I was the one who was always out of town even though he was the one who moved to Canada...
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    She not so secretly hated Canadians after her last partner fled to this beautiful country. We lasted as long as typing out this message…
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    The scratching and spitting was a turn off.. 😂
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    She ghosted me forever!!!

    Nice to see you, @slimgirljo15 !! 🤗
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Cat0703a wrote: »
    She ghosted me forever!!!

    Nice to see you, @slimgirljo15 !! 🤗

    Good to see you too Miss Kitty 🤗
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,249 Member
    MFP tore us apart.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    She insisted on an IG relationship instead of an in-person one 😳
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,026 Member
    Wouldn't travel to Las Vegas to meet me in person 😉
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    edited May 25
    I knew if I showed up in Vegas the first site she’d take me to see would be an Elvis wedding officiant 😅 I broke it off fast!! 🏃‍♀️ ⛪️ 👰‍♀️
  • AdahPotatah2024
    AdahPotatah2024 Posts: 2,447 Member
    She developed a huge crush on Wayne Newton after we vacationed in Las Vegas...obsessed!
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,026 Member
    Wouldn't vacation anywhere other than Las Vegas!
  • She was always saying ...
    " What happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas" 😧

    What happened in Vegas??
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,026 Member
    She went out for groceries one day and never came back...
  • maplesyrupandchicken
    maplesyrupandchicken Posts: 92 Member
    I had enough of her just coming right out and telling me she was going to get some BBC. I mean, it would have helped if she had told me that was the name of the new store in town... Big Beautiful Cookies
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Oh he was told; he just had extremely selective listening. 🙄
  • maplesyrupandchicken
    maplesyrupandchicken Posts: 92 Member
    Her and @cmsienk both had a taste for the "BBCookies" ....AT THE SAME TIME.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He was a terrible gambler who bet ME in one of his losing hands. Not a complete loss for me…I ended up with the winner. 😏