We broke up because...
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Had a weird friend named potatoes and people think she's a He hippie0
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Didn't understand the different between funny and hurtful0
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Always laughed loudly at inappropriate times0
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Got mad because i blew milk out of my nose at a bereavement dinner0
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Had this whole “waste not, want not” lifestyle where even spilled milk was used again 🤢0
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She got upset when I told her it was a waste of time to cry over spilt milk...and then accused me of this whole “waste not, want not” lifestyle!0
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After i blew the milk out of my nose, she got down in the floor and sucked it up with a straw.0
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After losing his chance on Jeopardy, he started practicing to be interviewed on "Hot Ones". He ate his chicken wings just like Conan O'Brien did, the current champion, and I had to clean up his mess with a wet vac...which he said was my straw. He laughed so hard at his own joke that more milk was spilt. I was so grossed out!0
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Her nickname was wet vac. They suck everything. Don't get me wrong.. that suction power is nice until they're cleaning up everyones messes.0
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There was an ever present feeling of knowing them from a past life and I couldn’t quite put my finger on who…until the mystery of it all drove me away!!1
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Constantly wanted to dig up the past and couldn't enjoy the present.
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Didn’t understand my fascination with cemeteries…0
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Had a lot of skeletons in her closet. Literally.0
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Didn’t value keeping loved ones as close as I did. It’s too bad. I had the prime spot in the closet reserved for them.0
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Her tiny house obsessions..0
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(Have I mentioned that here because if not, that’s disturbingly accurate 😳)
She refused to let us eat potatoes because potato lives matter too.1 -
Could put a whole potato in her mouth... Wait... maybe that wasn't such a bad thing...0
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He kept breaking up with me over the weirdest things. But I swear this is the last time!! “Don’t choke on your food, Cat. It’s unattractive and unladylike.” Gosh, I’ll choke on potatoes, if I want to. You’re not the boss of me!! 😤0
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She all of the sudden quit choking on "potatoes" and i knew she had been fake gagging all along. I don't need that in my life.1
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He kept his true self hidden from everyone...0
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She was having an identity crisis. One day a lovely woman in B&W, the next a coffee cup, and then a cardboard box. I truly could not keep up.
(Happy you’re back to yourself, my friend)0 -
I sent her the voice message that she demanded. She said my voice made her think of her great aunt Edna who smoked 27 packages of cigarettes each day and passed in 1988. She could no longer be with me as it hurt too much to be reminded of her. 😭0
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I asked for a sexy voice message and she sent me audio clips of the Simpsons Marge's sisters.0
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I found out her and @Cat0703a were sending each other cartoon porn, and smoking cigarettes.0
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He couldn’t appreciate art that was deeply meaningful, provocative and erotic.0
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She couldn't put up with my travel schedule0
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She was always out of town and would never let me go with her.0
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He complained that I was the one who was always out of town even though he was the one who moved to Canada...0
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She not so secretly hated Canadians after her last partner fled to this beautiful country. We lasted as long as typing out this message…0
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The scratching and spitting was a turn off.. 😂0
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