Yes, No, Odd, or can ex lovers be friends?

Alone with a past sexual partner, no, bad, I wouldn't be ok with my boyfriend doing that.

^

Wow....I think if my wife even suggested going on a vacation with an ex by themselves, that would be a deal breaker.

Even for one that is fiercely loyal to their mate, sitting with an ex reminiscing about old times, a heart to heart talk, a bottle or two of wine, and a beautiful sunset can all be powerful aphrodisiacs. The right set of circumstances will make even the most solid person waver and not say no to advances from their ex.

I think you're doing your buddy a favor. Not being a prude in my opinion.

I've currently got a best male friend where we crossed the line for a while, he's got a GF now and I'm more then happy for them. On the other hand the last couple of boyfriends I've had, after the break up, I make sure never to talk them again. It seems pointless.

It might raise a bit of a red flag, and I understand where his concern is coming from, but ex's can totally be friends. Obviously they got on, and simply decided dating wasn't the right type of relationship for them. Most times this ends all relationships between the two, but there's nothing stopping them from simply considering a platonic friendship deal to be a better fit, and hanging out in a completely above board way.

How those two feel about eachother depends entirely on those two, and anecdotes from strangers will shed no light on them. It's simply up to your friend to decide if he trusts his wife enough not to cheat on him, which is an important question that he needs to be asking himself. I think your friend and his wife need to have an honest discussion about his concerns.

No no no no no

Contact due to children is mandatory and a very different thing. Can't believe I even had to say that. Unless you have negotiated an open relationship (and plenty of people do), NOT going to the ski lodge with an ex lover could probably be chalked up under the "basic things I chose to give up to enjoy commitment".

keef1972 wrote: »

(my pal just calls me, and is a little troubled): His wife is going skiing with the guy she almost married.

lmao sorry but got some bad news for your bro. If his wife has any respect for him at all there is no way she would be going on a vacation with her ex ESPECIALLY if her husband isn't comfortable with it.

Not only that, if she has made plans to go on vacation with this guy, she has definitely been in touch with him for a while. They may have already been secretly meeting. You should tell him to do some snooping, check her phone messages and fb, may already have evidence of cheating and he should document that for the inevitable divorce.

Friends? Yes.

Go on vacation with your ex? Hell, No!

Recipe for disaster. It's not only hazardous, it's disrespectful to even suggest it.

My first thought is NO... ski date with ex.... but more info needed. Is it a group outing with maybe a batch of their mutual friends?? What are the sleeping arrangements?? Was the bf invited and couldn't attend? I do believe trust is important in a relationship, but also not putting yourself into compromising situations where old feelings or too much booze could impair judgment.

I've been a divorce attorney for over 31 years. I can say with a great deal of certainty that if she goes on the trip, it will not end well. And from what I can glean from the situation, it's probably not going to end well even if she decides to not go. "Innocent" friendships and alcohol keep me quite busy.

Yep. I find it odder to start dating a longtime friend than to become friends with an ex. As long as the ex wasn't a nutter or a jerk, that is.

Posts like this make me very happy I napalmed all the bridges between me and my exes.

OP, you're friend is screwed. If it's an innocent encounter, then he's going to look cuckolded, and people will talk behind his back. If it isn't innocent, then he's going to be cuckolded.

There's being friends with an ex, occasionally talking on Facebook or meeting each other's families or even just meeting for coffee to catch up. It's another thing entirely when the ex is single and there's a ski trip involved. Ski trips almost always mean booze and sex, with maybe a little skiing thrown in to say you actually skied.

keef1972 wrote: »

(my pal just calls me, and is a little troubled): His wife is going skiing with the guy she almost married.

Waaaaaaaaaait wut? Did she ask him if that was okay for her to do or did she just flat out tell him she was doing it. The way its worded sounds like to me she just told him it was happening and didn't ask.

I wouldn't be okay with my boyfriend going on a trip with his ex he almost married. I know he wouldn't be okay with me going on a trip with one of my exs. Plus, I'd never consider doing that because 1. I don't talk to any of my exs, and 2. even if I knew nothing would happen between us, I wouldn't put my boyfriend in a position to be uncomfortable like that. He trusts me but I think it's still a crappy thing to do to him.

And why would she want to go away with him anyway? Wouldn't that be something you'd rather do with your spouse than someone you almost married? Even if you were friends, I'd still want my spouse with me.

He needs to talk to her and tell her how he feels. If she can't respect his feelings on the issue and gets upset because he's being "controling" or whatever, then maybe she needs to be booted because if she can't respect his feelings on this, what else will she not respect his feelings on. As long as he respects her feelings in return.

jadeheart1994 wrote: »

That is not good women and men cannot be friends. If she respects her husband she will not go and if he really doesn't want to lose her he wont let her go.man people these days complicate there lives and make unnecessary promblems.

That's just flat out untrue. Men and women have platonic relationships aaaall the time - I don't think I know a single person who doesn't have a friend of the opposite gender and the majority of my friends aren't my gender either. It is possible (and damn common) to be able to interact and be friends with somebody of the gender you're attracted to, and to do it without daydreaming about what's in their pants.