Yes, No, Odd, or can ex lovers be friends?
(my pal just calls me, and is a little troubled): His wife is going skiing with the guy she almost married. He wanted to know my thoughts:
Me: OK, that is odd. A female can have a male friend, but skiing with someone she had sex with, saw naked, etc, might be a little much, since he is single.
Share your thoughts. Maybe I am being a prude?
Me: OK, that is odd. A female can have a male friend, but skiing with someone she had sex with, saw naked, etc, might be a little much, since he is single.
Share your thoughts. Maybe I am being a prude?
0
Replies
-
They're totally gunna get it on0
-
Can my girlfriend (if I had one) be friends with an ex? yes
Can my girlfriend go out on dates with ex? Vacations? Spend the night together? Flirt?
No --> because she would immediately be my ex-girlfriend
I had a very serious gf that tried to introduce going out to a bar to catch up with an ex that was still completely in love with her (I call that a date). BUT she didn't want me to even talk to women I've known for years and never had sex with. We broke up over this issue.
Your friend needs to set boundaries that he is comfortable with. If not he is going to be in a world of hurt.0 -
^^^^^ Completely agree!^^^^^0
-
and this^^^Melissa90xo wrote: »They're totally gunna get it on
0 -
Yep!^^^^^^^^^0
-
I am in agreement. Hate to tell a friend, his wife is going to get it on with her ex, "but".....0
-
I am in agreement. Hate to tell a friend, his wife is going to get it on with her ex, "but".....
If she is testing him, he is failing. Tell him to man up and tell her exactly how he feels about this (not crying or begging, be decisive), set his boundary, and follow through (no empty threats) with consequences of what he sees as a dealbreaker.
Do you know what I have done in the past with my ex's that just wanted to meet up for drinks and talk? I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that0 -
I will just stay in this thread and keep reading all your comments
mmm interesting... 0 -
You're not a prude. Ties should be cut. It's the best way. There's too much history there. It's not like they were best friends as kids and are double dating (which is still weird IMHO but at least both significant others are there - had an ex who once suggested this. Um, no.)
This is basically a date....without S.O. there. NO. Just no. Not okay.0 -
@mamameaof2kiddos , drop your 2 cents in. Have you ever hung out with an ex? I am pretty sure I can predict his ending, but maybe I think ex's, sex, when it is only friends? Can't see it, but.....0
-
Except couch = his wife.0 -
kinkyslinky16 wrote: »
Except couch = his wife.
lmao. I love it0 -
LOL. Too funny!0
-
@keef1972 it really doesn't matter if ex's can be friends (I would say the majority can't, but I know there has to be exceptions), it only matters if your friend will accept the behavior or not.
You stated he is uncomfortable, so tell him he needs to squash it right now0 -
@mamameaof2kiddos , drop your 2 cents in. Have you ever hung out with an ex? I am pretty sure I can predict his ending, but maybe I think ex's, sex, when it is only friends? Can't see it, but.....
That's why I can't make any comments or opinions cause.. believe me or not.. I am happily married to my very first boyfriend in my life 0 -
I am in agreement. Hate to tell a friend, his wife is going to get it on with her ex, "but".....
Not necessarily.
I have two ex's from college - we've been friends for over 20 years and nothing would ever happen now because we've moved on (and one is single and the other unhappily married). My ex-wife vacationed regularly with her ex (and his wife and children and our children) and I know nothing happened there.
Some people don't live in a movie and can actually move forward - there is no sure thing.
But if your friend is uncomfortable about, he needs to talk to his wife.0 -
0
-
If my husband/partner/bf was going skiing with ther ex I would be super pist! Is he invited along?0
-
Having been through the breakup battles, glad it is not me! It is kind of interesting, the dynamics. I agree, he should squash their ski date. At the same time, what if they are friends..? He then could be the controling jerk.
I will just continue to enjoy pretty ladies, and not have to worry about breaking up, and making up.0 -
Having been through the breakup battles, glad it is not me! It is kind of interesting, the dynamics. I agree, he should squash their ski date. At the same time, what if they are friends..? He then could be the controling jerk.
I will just continue to enjoy pretty ladies, and not have to worry about breaking up, and making up.
IMHO it's better to be called a controlling jerk than paying for her date with her ex fiance.0 -
@strozman , I agree. Was just playing the "flip side". Any ex of mine, stays in the past. So should hers.0
-
@strozman , I agree. Was just playing the "flip side". Any ex of mine, stays in the past. So should hers.
I'm really surprised there weren't more dissenting opinions. Personally I just wouldn't go on a 'date' with an ex because it seems disrespectful to the person I'm dating at the time.0 -
@strozman , I agree. Was just playing the "flip side". Any ex of mine, stays in the past. So should hers.
I'm really surprised there weren't more dissenting opinions. Personally I just wouldn't go on a 'date' with an ex because it seems disrespectful to the person I'm dating at the time.
Korekto!0 -
i think that people can be friends with their ex's... but if he feels uncomfortable then its an issue.
has the wife hung out with the ex before? a skiing holiday together seems a little random if they havent kept in touch as friends up till now? is he invited?0 -
I has idea.
Get a glitter bomb and send it to her, anonymously with a note inside that says "I know what you're up to with your ex and I do not approve" and she cannot pretend that it didn't happen, glitter bombs are hard to get rid of the glitter. Have him ask her why she wants to be sneaky behind his back and have him just ask "why" a bunch of times, see what her response is.
idk, just an idea. Back to w/e I was doing.0 -
The actual reality is that if the friend trusts the girlfriend there is absolutely no question. If there is a question then there isn't the trust therefore they should be worried.
That said there are those people who are a. Possessive b. Controlling or c. Have had exposure with people walking out on them i.e. Parents, family; these people have a low tolerence for such issues and have a hard time seeing an alternative. Therefore even if there is trust they will see it as bad.
Pretty much, unless you are directly related to the issue stay away from it. Be supportive of your friend whatever he decides, but don't be aggressive about the issue. Just be a listening ear.0 -
Even if they don't "get it on", it makes him sad which should be reason enough for her not to do it. She wants attention from multiple men, and hey, who doesn't? But we should grow out of thinking it's okay to hurt our partner like that. I declare her too babyish to be in a monogamous relationship.0
-
I have several exes with whom I've remained friends over the years...in that we comment on each other's Facebook posts and talk maybe once or twice a year on birthdays (most of them live about a thousand miles away). My husband has met a few of them...and, in a couple of cases, their wives and kids.
I don't think my husband would have a problem with me going out to lunch or dinner with any of them, should they happen to be passing through town. On the other hand, I think going on vacation with an ex would be beyond where the line is drawn.0 -
From what I remember, and someone please correct me if I'm wrong, snow skiing involves being outdoors, in the cold, with lots of clothes on.
Other than kissing, I don't see the opportunity to "get it on".
Could she/they rent a room? Of course. But they don't need to announce that they're going skiing in order to do that.
Does he trust her? Does she seem hinky about this, evasive, giving conflicting answers? Have there been problems before?
Since it bothers him, he needs to tell her that. There has to be a happy medium between him being upset because she's going, and her being upset because he won't let her go.
Maybe the husband can go along.0 -
My husband and his ex wife are friends- they have to be. They have my step daughter to think of, and yes he has gone with them on different family vacations- with and without me. I have never not been invited. So, if it's a previous pattern, there may not be a reason to worry. If it's out of the blue, then yes, that would raise some red flags for me.
If he's uncomfortable then it's really her he needs to be talking to.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 394.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.9K Getting Started
- 260.4K Health and Weight Loss
- 176.1K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 436 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.1K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.9K MyFitnessPal Information
- 15 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.7K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions