Yes, No, Odd, or can ex lovers be friends?

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keef1972
keef1972 Posts: 411 Member
in Chit-Chat
(my pal just calls me, and is a little troubled): His wife is going skiing with the guy she almost married. He wanted to know my thoughts:

Me: OK, that is odd. A female can have a male friend, but skiing with someone she had sex with, saw naked, etc, might be a little much, since he is single.

Share your thoughts. Maybe I am being a prude?
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Replies

  • Melissa90xo
    Melissa90xo Posts: 1,020 Member
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    They're totally gunna get it on
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Can my girlfriend (if I had one) be friends with an ex? yes
    Can my girlfriend go out on dates with ex? Vacations? Spend the night together? Flirt?
    No --> because she would immediately be my ex-girlfriend

    I had a very serious gf that tried to introduce going out to a bar to catch up with an ex that was still completely in love with her (I call that a date). BUT she didn't want me to even talk to women I've known for years and never had sex with. We broke up over this issue.

    Your friend needs to set boundaries that he is comfortable with. If not he is going to be in a world of hurt.
  • strwbry74
    strwbry74 Posts: 1,728 Member
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    ^^^^^ Completely agree!^^^^^
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
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    Melissa90xo wrote: »
    They're totally gunna get it on
    and this^^^
  • strwbry74
    strwbry74 Posts: 1,728 Member
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    Yep!^^^^^^^^^
  • keef1972
    keef1972 Posts: 411 Member
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    I am in agreement. Hate to tell a friend, his wife is going to get it on with her ex, "but".....
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    edited February 2015
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    keef1972 wrote: »
    I am in agreement. Hate to tell a friend, his wife is going to get it on with her ex, "but".....

    If she is testing him, he is failing. Tell him to man up and tell her exactly how he feels about this (not crying or begging, be decisive), set his boundary, and follow through (no empty threats) with consequences of what he sees as a dealbreaker.

    Do you know what I have done in the past with my ex's that just wanted to meet up for drinks and talk? I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that
  • mamameaof2kiddos
    mamameaof2kiddos Posts: 6,611 Member
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    I will just stay in this thread and keep reading all your comments :) mmm interesting...
  • LovingLifeInCalifornia
    LovingLifeInCalifornia Posts: 9,362 Member
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    You're not a prude. Ties should be cut. It's the best way. There's too much history there. It's not like they were best friends as kids and are double dating (which is still weird IMHO but at least both significant others are there - had an ex who once suggested this. Um, no.)

    This is basically a date....without S.O. there. NO. Just no. Not okay.
  • keef1972
    keef1972 Posts: 411 Member
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    @mamameaof2kiddos‌ , drop your 2 cents in. Have you ever hung out with an ex? I am pretty sure I can predict his ending, but maybe I think ex's, sex, when it is only friends? Can't see it, but.....
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
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    2r7smt3.jpg

    Except couch = his wife.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
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    kinkyslinky16 wrote: »
    2r7smt3.jpg

    Except couch = his wife.

    lmao. I love it
  • keef1972
    keef1972 Posts: 411 Member
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    LOL. Too funny!
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    edited February 2015
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    @keef1972‌ it really doesn't matter if ex's can be friends (I would say the majority can't, but I know there has to be exceptions), it only matters if your friend will accept the behavior or not.

    You stated he is uncomfortable, so tell him he needs to squash it right now
  • mamameaof2kiddos
    mamameaof2kiddos Posts: 6,611 Member
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    keef1972 wrote: »
    @mamameaof2kiddos‌ , drop your 2 cents in. Have you ever hung out with an ex? I am pretty sure I can predict his ending, but maybe I think ex's, sex, when it is only friends? Can't see it, but.....

    That's why I can't make any comments or opinions cause.. believe me or not.. I am happily married to my very first boyfriend in my life :)
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    keef1972 wrote: »
    I am in agreement. Hate to tell a friend, his wife is going to get it on with her ex, "but".....

    Not necessarily.

    I have two ex's from college - we've been friends for over 20 years and nothing would ever happen now because we've moved on (and one is single and the other unhappily married). My ex-wife vacationed regularly with her ex (and his wife and children and our children) and I know nothing happened there.

    Some people don't live in a movie and can actually move forward - there is no sure thing.

    But if your friend is uncomfortable about, he needs to talk to his wife.
  • blossomholly
    blossomholly Posts: 5,179 Member
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    Melissa90xo wrote: »
    They're totally gunna get it on

    Agreed!

  • blossomholly
    blossomholly Posts: 5,179 Member
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    If my husband/partner/bf was going skiing with ther ex I would be super pist! Is he invited along?
  • keef1972
    keef1972 Posts: 411 Member
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    Having been through the breakup battles, glad it is not me! It is kind of interesting, the dynamics. I agree, he should squash their ski date. At the same time, what if they are friends..? He then could be the controling jerk.

    I will just continue to enjoy pretty ladies, and not have to worry about breaking up, and making up.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
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    keef1972 wrote: »
    Having been through the breakup battles, glad it is not me! It is kind of interesting, the dynamics. I agree, he should squash their ski date. At the same time, what if they are friends..? He then could be the controling jerk.

    I will just continue to enjoy pretty ladies, and not have to worry about breaking up, and making up.

    IMHO it's better to be called a controlling jerk than paying for her date with her ex fiance.

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