Very down and out

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  • wvmark41
    wvmark41 Posts: 124 Member
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    hmmm..... I can never imagine saying that.

    You sound like someone I'd be happy to have holding my hand in public. Those measurements are just fine in my book.... besides, if that's all that ANY guy is interested in, then he's not ready for any girl I know.

    It's good to get fit and I encourage that. But, get fit for health related reasons not for trying to hold onto a relationship that is not very well grounded in love, respect, and admiration.

    lol.... YOU GET IN THAT TOP SHAPE, a good guy will come along who actually loves being with YOU for who you are.

    Best to you..... it breaks my heart to hear of girls in this situation.
  • momof26
    momof26 Posts: 83
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    First off, WOW!! I would have totatlly slapped my fiance for even saying that to you. He should love you the way you are and IF he had a problem with your body, he sure the heck shouldn't say it to your face. That's really rude of him to say that. Second, if he's looking at other girls like that, do you really want to be with him? Can he stay faithful? I'm sorry, I know this is harsh.

    Third, you can lose this weight!! Wish I was 139 lbs! Here's an exercise that helps my sides. Get a dumbell weight....I use 15 lbs because I'm used to it and worked my way up to it......hold it in your right or left hand....doesn't matter.....put the opposite hand that is free behind your head while standing......feet apart but not shoulder width apart.....lean to the side that has the dumbell and when coming back up, raise that arm with the dumbell...kind of like starting the lawnmower....do 10 x's and switch hands......do the same thing on the other side. Do 3 reps of ten....you'll be sore the next day but it works!! Make any sense? Did I confuse you? LOL I'll make a youtube video if it did.

    I also like to go walking after dinner. I walk for about 20 minutes a night...sometimes I play basketball after walking. Good luck and I hope this works for you!

    ~Brittany
  • pittielover23
    pittielover23 Posts: 268
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    Step 1: Dump the douchecanoe. Seriously, a good, decent guy would NEVER act like that. EVER. My husband would never ever ever ever ever ever ever. There are better guys out there and you deserve one of them.

    Step 2: realize that you are not fat. But that you need to be happy with your body for YOU. If you want to lose weight, it has to be for YOU and YOU alone.

    Step 3: Therapy. Not because I think you are crazy, but to find out why your self-esteem is so low and why you would put up with a jerkface like your fiance. I went through the same thing, and therapy is seriously the best thing I have ever spent money on for myself.
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
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    hmmm..... I can never imagine saying that.

    You sound like someone I'd be happy to have holding my hand in public. Those measurements are just fine in my book.... besides, if that's all that ANY guy is interested in, then he's not ready for any girl I know.

    It's good to get fit and I encourage that. But, get fit for health related reasons not for trying to hold onto a relationship that is not very well grounded in love, respect, and admiration.

    lol.... YOU GET IN THAT TOP SHAPE, a good guy will come along who actually loves being with YOU for who you are.

    Best to you..... it breaks my heart to hear of girls in this situation.

    This is what a nice guy sounds like! Take note ladies
  • peggyneufe1d
    peggyneufe1d Posts: 2
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    I'm so sorry he made you feel terrible about yourself! I know what it's like to be heavy in the hips and thighs and how you feel around people that are naturally thin. BUT in 20 years, they may not look so hot!

    Just remember how special God made you - just the way you are... Don't try to lose the weight for your fiance' - lose the weight for yourself and health! Chin up!
  • pittielover23
    pittielover23 Posts: 268
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    Also wanted to add that you DESERVE to be loved, mind body and soul, by the person you are going to marry. I weigh much more than I did when I got married (although I was overweight then too), and my H still loves me and my body.
  • JJs25th
    JJs25th Posts: 204 Member
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    MY first thought on reading your post was "Dump the jerk..." But I have been married to the same man for close to 30 years and if there is one thing I have learned it is that even men that love us will insert their foot in their mouths all the way to the hip -- bite down and chew well and then swallow... I would suggest that you pick a VERY calm moment and you call him on this. Ask him about what he said, it obviously has you upset and dwelling on it. Many, many, MANY times my DH has said something to me that I did not hear in the manner in which he thought he said it! And they were always comments that he never intended to hurt me with, but he thought/meant as either supportive or complimentary -- OR that he gave no thought to at all. You see your body one way -- it is very possible he sees your body differently. The outcome of this conversation will tell you wether or not you really want to spend the rest of your life with him.

    Next thought...getting healthy is always a good thing, but I agree with those that said if you do not do it for you -- and accept your body's shortcomings in the process -- it will not stick in the long term.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    Your biggest problem is not your weight, it's your fiance who is making you feel like crap, get rid of him and I guarantee you weightloss will be much less stressful.
  • ashleyjo2
    ashleyjo2 Posts: 13
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    I really appreciate the kindness and support. Its weird because my man isnt the most horrible person out there. I know he loves me, its more mental with him. He gets mad, he says hurtful things. I only got to see him once a month because of his job, so we were having crazy problems being apart. I believe he was taking that stuff out on me more then anything, which I know is wrong. Another thing that is funny is when we go out i get dressed up and look good..for example, his drunk friend was scaring at my boobs one night and he popped him in the face...VERY PROTECTIVE...lol. My man actually gave me the motovation to do this weight lose...but im also doing it for myself..I told him that once im all tiny and toned he will be jealous. lol. He actually bought a gym membership and pays for it every month, BUT HASNT WENT ONCE. Hes 5'9" 240 lbs..So now im on the road with him and using his membership...lol. I feel better now that I read ur comments..keep em coming, Anyone in Iowa? Close to Dubuque? Thats where I am and would love a workout partner :) anyone want to be friends...just send me a request
  • pittielover23
    pittielover23 Posts: 268
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    I really appreciate the kindness and support. Its weird because my man isnt the most horrible person out there. I know he loves me, its more mental with him. He gets mad, he says hurtful things. I only got to see him once a month because of his job, so we were having crazy problems being apart. I believe he was taking that stuff out on me more then anything, which I know is wrong. Another thing that is funny is when we go out i get dressed up and look good..for example, his drunk friend was scaring at my boobs one night and he popped him in the face...VERY PROTECTIVE...lol. My man actually gave me the motovation to do this weight lose...but im also doing it for myself..I told him that once im all tiny and toned he will be jealous. lol. He actually bought a gym membership and pays for it every month, BUT HASNT WENT ONCE. Hes 5'9" 240 lbs..So now im on the road with him and using his membership...lol. I feel better now that I read ur comments..keep em coming, Anyone in Iowa? Close to Dubuque? Thats where I am and would love a workout partner :) anyone want to be friends...just send me a request
    Not to beat a dead horse, but I see lots of red flags in your statement above, (Words like 'protective' and phrases like 'takes it out on me'), so please procede with caution in this relationship. I know that nothing we say will make you change your mind, but make sure you really know him and see him for who he is.

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