I think I need a pep talk.
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didda1
Posts: 71 Member
I'm ready to give up. I've been doing this for 6 weeks now, and have lost my goal of 1/2 a lb a week, (only 77 lbs to go!) but I am beginning to HATE food.
I look at anything, anything at all, and just seethe. I've yelled at food. I HAVE TO WEIGH YOU.
Over the last 3 days, I have been unable to eat just about anything, because the anger I feel towards the food scale, and the food that is on it. I just get really grumpy and walk away.
My husband offered me some fudge last night, my all time favourite occasional treat, and I told him 'no, I'd have to weigh it so I know exactly how many calories it has'.
Weighing my food has been the ONLY method that I have tried that has actually worked.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to want to eat again? I am honestly ready to just quit, and reclaim my love of food (all of it, I hate vegetables right now too), and stop this anger train. Right now losing weight does not seem worth it.
I look at anything, anything at all, and just seethe. I've yelled at food. I HAVE TO WEIGH YOU.
Over the last 3 days, I have been unable to eat just about anything, because the anger I feel towards the food scale, and the food that is on it. I just get really grumpy and walk away.
My husband offered me some fudge last night, my all time favourite occasional treat, and I told him 'no, I'd have to weigh it so I know exactly how many calories it has'.
Weighing my food has been the ONLY method that I have tried that has actually worked.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to want to eat again? I am honestly ready to just quit, and reclaim my love of food (all of it, I hate vegetables right now too), and stop this anger train. Right now losing weight does not seem worth it.
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Replies
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Tracking period means knowing how many calories are in your servings. This is not something you can blame on weighing your food.
I'm guessing you are not emotionally/mentally prepared for weight loss if you're going to put the blame on how you feel on your food scale. That'd be like getting angry at the bathroom scale for showing you've only lost 0.5lbs when you should have lost 2lbs.0 -
I agree with ana--it sounds to me like you have decided you "have to" lose weight but don't really want to, and are concentrating your rage to sabotage the one thing that is finally working.
"Loving food" does not mean shoveling all of it down with complete abandon. IMHO, nurturing a love of food means finding ways to incorporate it into our lives. Knowing how much we're eating--which is all a food scale does, in the end--is a key part of that. You're seeing it as a restriction and a prison; I see the measurements as a freedom and an invitation to include that much of this kind of yumminess in my diet for the day.
You might have good luck with food prepping ahead of time: measuring out and preparing all the ingredients for your meals on one day so you know how much is in them, then freezing or fridging the components until it's time to cook. That way, you still know how much you're eating, but there's some distance between your food and the food scale. You could also have your husband do the weighing for you.
But the scale is just a proxy, so you should also ask yourself whether you really want to lose weight.0 -
Yup, food scale lets me see if I can fit that muffin or brownie in my day in the serving I want, and if not it helps me figure out how much I CAN eat for it to fit and whether it's worth it (if it isn't then it will be on my log the next day!)cheshirecatastrophe wrote: »I agree with ana--it sounds to me like you have decided you "have to" lose weight but don't really want to, and are concentrating your rage to sabotage the one thing that is finally working.
"Loving food" does not mean shoveling all of it down with complete abandon. IMHO, nurturing a love of food means finding ways to incorporate it into our lives. Knowing how much we're eating--which is all a food scale does, in the end--is a key part of that. You're seeing it as a restriction and a prison; I see the measurements as a freedom and an invitation to include that much of this kind of yumminess in my diet for the day.
You might have good luck with food prepping ahead of time: measuring out and preparing all the ingredients for your meals on one day so you know how much is in them, then freezing or fridging the components until it's time to cook. That way, you still know how much you're eating, but there's some distance between your food and the food scale. You could also have your husband do the weighing for you.
But the scale is just a proxy, so you should also ask yourself whether you really want to lose weight.
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In the beginning that's just the way it is, until you get fast at it and it's just a habit like any other. Nobody can make you do this---if you hate it don't do it. What's the alternative? Talk to a dietician and they will tell you what you can eat everyday. You do that and lose weight. Most people gain it back after. Why? Because you really don't know how many calories are in that brownie, or hamburger, or baked potato, etc. Once you know, and start fitting it all together to stay within your calorie goal---you have the power to choose what and how much of it to eat. You will learn that movement and exercise is your friend, and you can eat more on the days you move more. I really hope you will rethink your position, and come to realize that it liberates you if you handle it right. If not, wishing you all the best.
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By the way--love your cat!0
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Right now losing weight does not seem worth it.
If that's how you feel, stop.
It's never going to be easy, but if you're really that miserable, it's probably a sign you're not ready to commit to this yet. Rather than torture yourself, just be more accepting of who you are.
When the time comes, you'll know.
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What if you just weigh your basic foods in portions like 1 cup, 1 slice, whatever, and count the calories for those basic portions once and for all.
Then all you need to do is serve yourself not more than 1 cup of this and 1 slice of that, etc...?
Maybe you need to find your personal motivation to do this.
We often have external motivators...like our boss at work...or in the case of losing weight, it could be your doctor or your spouse pressuring you to go on a diet. But that kind of motivation does not work on the long term.
What we need are internal motivators.
We need to ask ourselves, WHY do I want to do this, WHY is it important for me, what is at stake if I don't follow through.
Many of these motivators are intellectual, but it works better if you can find an emotional motivator.
Saying to myself "I want to lose 20 pounds so I can feel proud" will work better than "I want to lose 20 pounds so I can be healthier".
Writing down our personal motivators can help us push through when we have our down times (there always are ups and downs !).
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Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.0 -
Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.
I don't think the fudge is her problem. If my non-existent significant other offered ME fudge right now, I'd totally say yes.0 -
You need to find a way to change your attitude. The scale is not the enemy, the high calorie food is. All the scale is doing is telling you that that high calorie food is going to put you over the limit. Make better choices that let you eat foods that taste good but fit your goals. Strawberries, blueberries, yummy greek yogurt, a Kozy Shack rice pudding for a dessert... substitute 2 squares of high quality dark chocolate for that king sized chocolate bar...
The more good food you can eat, the less you will resent the 'diet'. After all, you want to maintain this weight loss the rest of your life, right? So it needs to be a lifestyle change, not a quick fix.0 -
Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.
I don't think the fudge is her problem. If my non-existent significant other offered ME fudge right now, I'd totally say yes.
I agree, and I would just eat less, but still eat some, and make it work in my calorie limit.0 -
You could ask the hubby to weigh the fudge for you? Mine weighs and measures things for me, if I ask. I have to accept that his measurements may be a little less accurate than I'd like - he used the 1 oz. shot glass measuring cup to portion 5 oz. of wine for me, the other night - but it's better than the completely random "1 glass" measurement I'd be guessing about, otherwise.0
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blankiefinder wrote: »Mark a date on your calendar for six weeks from now. If you still have the anger, then stop.
In the meantime, ask your husband to be more helpful by not offering fudge.
I don't think the fudge is her problem. If my non-existent significant other offered ME fudge right now, I'd totally say yes.
I agree, and I would just eat less, but still eat some, and make it work in my calorie limit.
Yup. This goes for any food - I have to do this with pomegranates and grapes and other calorie-dense fruit.
But I also say the fudge isn't her problem ebcause OP also said she is developing a poor relationship with ALL food. Including the "good" food. So that is clearly a red flag right there.0 -
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Can you walk us through your process for using the food scale like if you want an afternoon snack, or if you are preparing dinner?0
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I think you will be very sad when your ticker starts going in the other direction all because you gave in to a childish impulse to throw a tantrum.
Your scale and food is not to blame for anything. The only agent is you. Suck it up and be a grown up. Temper tantrums are unbecoming.0 -
Lourdesong wrote: »I think you will be very sad when your ticker starts going in the other direction all because you gave in to a childish impulse to throw a tantrum.
Your scale and food is not to blame for anything. The only agent is you. Suck it up and be a grown up. Temper tantrums are unbecoming.
Harsh but true...
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I think my main issue is I have to weigh *everything* to know what's actually in it, as I can't afford pre-made anything. I have to make every single thing from scratch, and weighing it all is just wearing me down. I don't get to say oh hey, I want a muffin, I have to MAKE that muffin. It's so time consuming, and frustrating lol.
I'm not doing this for vanity, I'm doing it for health. I'm surprisingly happy with how I look, I just need to lose weight for myself.
Also- I totally forgot to put this- I'm on prednisone. I KNOW my anger is coming from there, this is so 100% not like me.
Honestly, would taking a few days off be a good thing?
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christinev297 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I think you will be very sad when your ticker starts going in the other direction all because you gave in to a childish impulse to throw a tantrum.
Your scale and food is not to blame for anything. The only agent is you. Suck it up and be a grown up. Temper tantrums are unbecoming.
Harsh but true...
Is it? People all over the world lose weight with or without a scale. Maybe it's for the OP, maybe it's not. I don't see the need to insult her, personally
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Meh, it's ok Janei I take part in online political debates, nothing anyone can say actually gets to me anymore lol. 0
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