People keep telling me either to stop losing weight or that I'm too skinny!

TerryKes · February 2015

I was overweight and was ready to lose weight and get healthy again. Last September 17th I weighed in at 177 pounds. I'm 5'4, had been 132 pounds just a few years ago and wanted to return to that weight, which was just over halfway on the BMI scale for normal weight. It's been just over 5 months and I met goal last Friday! I was very diligent and consistent in watching my calories and exercising 5-6 days a week. Here's the rub: More people than not continue to tell me to stop, I'm too think, I'm looking like a bag of bones (how rude!), I don't want to get sick, I don't want to look gaunt, etc., etc., ETC.! Granted, most of these people are larger in frame, and I know that when you lose weight very quickly that it can look startling for those who haven't seen you recently, and that when you work out, you're smaller because there's more muscle mass than fat.

So, I can respond with a quick/sharp tongue, but that's not what I'm wanting to do. I really believe that I'm healthy and at a healthy weight, so I'm more disturbed than PO'd. I've questioned whether it's true or not, and I don't think any of it's true.

What do you think? How would you respond?

I'm really wanting to focus on and figure out maintenance now and not have to consider gaining a few pounds just to make larger people feel relieved about me. (Geesh!)

Ni_kki · February 2015

I want to respond with something for you to respond with.. but I'm a larger person.. so I don't know how you'd take it.

AllAboutThatSpace · February 2015

I think you should do what you want to do. Life is full of people with opposing opinions. I try not to sugar coat things, so just tell it how it is. Say you're staying FIT.

CupcakeCrusoe · February 2015

Who cares what they think. Really though.

I get that a lot, 5'4" and only at 155 so far. I'm proud of your success. You should be too.

I would tell people who tell me that, "I'm where my doctor wants me to be." Anyone who wants to argue further is an idiot.

jessieleah · February 2015

I would just shrug it off and ignore them, probably.

chetvr · February 2015

Congrats on meeting your goal! Don't feel you need to defend yourself to anyone. You did it over 5 months, not overnight and you can mention that to anyone that tries to tell you how unhealthy they think you are. After I lost weight I actually had someone ask me if I was going through a divorce! I wasn't, but it's amazing the things people come up with when they can't put you into their own little box of perceptions.

Doreen9686 · February 2015

Congrats on reaching your goal and all of the progress you have made. It is between you and your Dr to decide if you are at a healthy weight for you. The people telling you otherwise are not qualified and quite frankly sound jealous to me. Instead of being supportive they are bringing you down. Now that you have reached your goal and YOU are happy just do as you mentioned and maintain. Enjoy yourself, eat healthy foods, indulge now and then and if you notice weight creeping back on you already know what to do to take it off. Again great job, all of your diligence and hard work paid off! :-)

TerryKes · February 2015

@Ni_kki‌ I welcome your response! Thanks, @CupcakeCrusoe‌! I like it! I am, @jessieleah‌ I really am.

cdn_beaver · February 2015

Just tell them that your doctor says you're at a healthy weight for your height. Seems like people tend to shut up when you mention a doctor's opinion.

tomatoey · February 2015

i got a lot of that for the four years i maintained at 124 lbs at 5'7 (bmi 19.4). i thought it was some kind of projection thing. but when i gained 5 pounds back, everyone (all weights/sizes) said i looked way better in the face, less drawn, and i could see it was true in the pics.

i kept gaining (injuries + eating), but that's another matter entirely

shmulyeng · February 2015

Don't feel the need to answer. I get it all the time. Just nod and continue. More than likely they just don't have anything to say.

tiffanylacourse · February 2015

Way to go on meeting your goal!

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to lose 45 pounds in 5 months? That's an average of 9lbs a month!

blankiefinder · February 2015

Even for people of the same height and weight, there can be a huge size difference (Maybe one's a size 4, one a size 10) depending on how you carry your weight and how much muscle you have. If you're really concerned, ask your doctor. If you have a healthy relationship with food and your body though, I wouldn't be concerned. I am 5'7 and weigh 134 lbs, and I still have lots of fat on my body to lose. (currently between a size 8 & 10)

minilop92 · February 2015

It's just jealousy. Keep doing what makes YOU happy : D

MeadowSong · February 2015

My sister did this when I got to 155 from 180. I reminded her how she told me I looked good when I weighed 128 in college! I tend to tell people that just because most people are fatter than they used to be doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with being a healthy weight--it just looks thinner because it's not as common anymore.

CoffeeNBooze · February 2015

I would just say something like, well, good thing it's my body not yours

ggeise14 · February 2015

Congrats on meeting your goal! As a fellow 50+ person I think it's great that you committed and made it in 5 months -- WOW! I like the response about "my doctor says I'm at a healthy weight". I'd probably start with "I feel great, have more energy" and then try and just let it go.

cwolfman13 · February 2015

This depends. First off, BMI is a range in order to take into account different body types, bone structures, muscle mass, etc...it isn't stated as a range so that you can pick and choose a number within that range and simply call it "healthy". The low end of BMI would have me around 140 Lbs...I can definitively tell you I would look like death warmed over at that weight and would have to do a lot of unhealthy things to get there. I would have to burn up a ton of muscle and I would definitely look like a bag of bones.

Also, it depends on who's telling you these things. I mean, it could be jealousy but it could also be true and justified concern. I told my sister she needed to stop losing weight at one point...not because I was jealous...but because she was starting to look sickly in that she naturally has a more athletic build and was so focused on the scale that she was burning up a bunch of lean mass and she simply didn't look healthy and was teetering on being underweight.

JourneyingJessica · February 2015

I get that too. I'm 5'5" and 150lbs. I've been told you don't need to lose weight, go eat a hamburger, you need to stop losing weight etc. at 150, I'm at the high end of healthy bmi range & I'm far from where I'd like to be for my body. I just smile and ignore.

I think people get so used to seeing you one way they have trouble adjusting to you other ways.

TerryKes · February 2015

Thanks for all of the feedback, it's very helpful! I know my doctor would be very happy with my weight and I'll confirm it at my next appointment.

@tiffanylacourse‌ , I used MFP to let me know the calories I needed to lose 1-2 pounds/week, exercised 5-6 times/week - I'm a Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred groupie, ha!, so we're talking 20-40/max workouts, plus I try and drink 80-100 oz. of water a day. I tried to not always eat all of my exercise calories' burned, too. I ate most of my carbs as veggies/fruits and increased my protein %. I use MFP daily and diligently as an accountability. I've participated in a couple of different kinds of health challenges that keeps me focused on healthy eating and activities, too. If anyone of you would like to 'be friends' on MFP, I'd welcome the company. Thanks again for responding!

williamwj2014 · February 2015

reminds me of my mom when she came out here last week. She said I was getting too skinny and that I should eat more. I don't drink much juice/soda so she also criticized me about that. It is annoying but it's probably them being in disbelief that one could make healthy changes. I'm eating pretty regular now, no longer counting my calories but still making good choices. It is what it is, you just have to do what's best for you.

I'm 5'9 158 lbs btw.

Annanna91 · February 2015

There's always going to be people who criticise. I know because I'm often subjected to such comments myself. Yes I am quite small, 5'5 and 117lbs, but whilst I feel great in myself I've recieved many harsh words.

If you feel good then ignore those who criticise. At the end of the day it's your body and decisions, not theirs.

jazzy550 · February 2015

I would ask if they would talk to an overweight person that way! It is just as insulting to tell someone they look awful thin as it is to tell someone they are fat!

arditarose · February 2015

I'm 5'4" and working on 130 as well. Congrats to you...it took my 9 months to lose 27 pounds

Anyway, people tell me to stop as well. I have a good head on my shoulders and know what I'm doing though (though my goal changes all the time!). A friend of mine who is the same height and 10 pounds less told me to stop and I literally said "Why? Can I not be as thin as you?" That kind of made her see the light.

beachbum4044 · February 2015

Way to go! That is a great accomplishment. I am also 5' 4". My goal right now is 145-150. My doctor mentioned 138 as a good weight, but I don't think it is maintainable. I want to get to my first goal, see how I feel and then move on from there.

As to what others say, if you can say nothing. If you can't, then feel free to tell them you will address their concerns with a medical professional. You are on a journey for your health, your life, not theirs. Keep going and enjoy your journey!

RodaRose · February 2015

You have done so well. Tell them whatever you want because you OWN this rodeo.

Jolinia · February 2015

You're in America. We're not used to seeing lean people. Just stop talking to family about it, smile if they bring it up, thank them politely for their concern, and be on your merry way.

kmorgan221 · February 2015

Say, "That's really funny, I was just thinking you could stand to lose a few pounds."

When they're insulted, ask them why they didn't think what they said was insulting.

Congrats on all your hard work.

CupcakeCrusoe · February 2015

kmorgan221 wrote: »

Say, "That's really funny, I was just thinking you could stand to lose a few pounds."

When they're insulted, ask them why they didn't think what they said was insulting.

Congrats on all your hard work.

I am too chicken to do this, but I love it.

TerryKes · February 2015

Your responses are great, smart, and some just freaking funny! Thank you so much. Just reading these have helped me feel supported and stronger. I'm going to use some of them. You're great, thanks!

leggup · February 2015

"You've lost too much weight!"

Neutral Responses:
"Yeah, I have lost a lot of weight, but I'm done now."
"Oh? I feel really healthy."
"My doctor worked with me to determine a healthy weight."
"Oh? Thank you for being worried about me, but I did this the healthy way."

Telling People how it is:
"It makes me uncomfortable when you comment about my weight."
"My weight isn't your business."
"Would you like me to tell you my opinion about your weight?"
"Oh, I'm so glad you have an opinion about my weight."
"Do you like it when people comment on your weight?"

People keep telling me either to stop losing weight or that I'm too skinny!

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