Trying to repair and understand my bad week

Don't give up because you had a few bad days. Maybe look into the 5:2 diet.

I wouldnt recommend the diet, 5, 2 means you have to fast and isnt much fun if you ask me. I would suggest just sticking to the program and looking for support whenever you feel a moment of weakness. Or incorporating healthy sweet alternatives like I do it gets rid of the cravings without ruining the day

Once again, I will recommend a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. You family and friends have suggested that you have a problem. People online have suggested it. You are frequently upset about your eating.

When smart people have problems, they seek help from experts. Be smart. Seek help.

Maybe I can see where you are coming from. Like you I am of advanced years (61) and have lost about 30 lbs. Almost at goal weight, but there is still some fat above hips and stomach which may or may not go. I'm 5ft 4 and 122 lbs and look v.good with clothes on apart from the "hippy" problem which I can get away with depending on the clothes I choose.
I've worked really hard at the gym, mainly because I enjoy lifting heavy weights, and I run about 5k -7k two or three times a week. I started in February and am happy where I am now - apart from the fact that although my arms are nicely filled out and muscular, I still have the crepey skin of old age in certain parts - above the elbows in particular. That's not going to go away no matter how much muscle I put on. My legs are muscular and I have defined muscles, but still at the very top of my thighs there are fatty bits. Hopefully they will go eventually but I have to accept that they may not, or if they do the skin there might not be so good either.

In general, I am happy with the results of my hard work and eating, but unfortunately can't escape the fact that I am not going to have the body of my former self at 30 years old. Even if I am the same weight, it is not going to look the same because old age sucks!! I resent it utterly but there is no escaping it, and you know what? There are times when it really gets me down and I can't help thinking is it worth it? But then commonsense kicks in, and I know it is.

Having said that, just as your downfall is cake and ice cream, mine is wine. I have no off button for this - it is either all or nothing. I just cut it out for the first 6 months while I lost most of my weight, then relaxed a bit, then a bit more, then a bit more until over the last few months I have been drinking far more than is sensible both for weight loss or health. Even though I knew I was sabotaging myself, because I was comfortable in myself I convinced myself it was OK. Then I started to feel bloated again. No extra weight but that would be the next thing - so I have stopped it - OK its only been a week but I feel much better for it. I'm not saying that I won't have any again, but somewhere I have to learn to find the off button and only have it once a week as a treat. Unfortunately I've been saying this for years - I just like wine and one glass doesn't cut it. It seems that while I am actively trying to lose weight I can cut it out, but as soon as I let it back in, there is no restraint.

I don't know what the answer is - just something I have to continually keep on top of I guess. Discussed it with OH the other day and he agrees we won't keep any in the house, but just buy a bottle as and when - unfortunately we have had this conversation lots of times!! Trouble is it is so easy to buy a few when there are special offers on!! Money is a bit tight at the moment though so that will help.

Good luck with however you try to fight this little battle with yourself. Just remember that if you are not happy with how you look, eating cake and ice cream is not going to make anything look nicer..........!

This one again! You seriously need to seek professional help. We've told you, your family has told you.

Hello, Adpalangi. I was attracted to the title of your post based on my own experiences of coming to a place of better understanding about my own process of trying to understand why I ate the way I did or had certain thoughts about food, eating, myself and how I thought those things could affect my "world."

In your OP, you only ask one question, "How do I get myself out of this mess?"

For me, I found the audiobook, "Intuitive Eating" by Tribole and Resch extremely helpful in evaluating and changing my outlook on food, dieting and eating.

I used to be depressed until I started facing the cause of that depression (through talk therapy). I used to have an autoimmune disease of the thyroid until I cleared my throat chakra by talking about my past (through talk therapy). I used to have the mentality that if I ate something "bad" I "ruined" the day/week/month and would have to "start over" until I listened to the audiobook I mentioned and recognized I held many of the "diet mentality" beliefs they cover and explain how to combat.

Don't know if any of this will help you get out of your "mess" - but you may want to think about how staying in your "mess" might just be away to protect yourself from feeling other painful thoughts and working through those things. While I understand the desire to hit a reset button, there really is no starting over...only learning, growing, changing.

Best to you!

~M.C. Turtle

Adpalangi wrote: »

I really think I've been disappointed with the way my weight loss looks on me. I have wrinkles of soft skin under my arms, tops of my legs, my neck and on my stomach (where there is lots of extra skin) I didn't expect this, but I guess at age (almost 59) I should of known I would have thought about this.
...
I feel like I screwed up by loosing all that weight, would it of been better to of just dropped afew lbs. than to have dropped what I have, like would is the weight worth the flabby skin hanging around. I know I want to be healthy for my kids and grandchildren, but as selfish as it might sound I also wanted thinking that a slim body might bring a certain someone's attention.

None of that is selfish and it's totally understandable. Don't beat yourself up. You can improve the shape of your body and how skin looks by lifting weights to increase the muscle underneath.

If you had a substantial loss and your skin really bothers you, nothing wrong with looking into plastic surgery. There are some tradeoffs (scars), but you might feel it's worth it.

It seems you started this post some time ago. I hope you have found some solutions. Seems like you were emotionally eating. If so, finding a healthy replacement (maybe tea with honey or yogurt) will help. You have to stop yourself in your footsteps and choose to do something different (besides stuffing yourself with ice cream and cake).

Congrats on your weightloss. In my experience, my body fills in/ looks more healthy once I am in maintenance, although I have never loss a sinificant amount of weight. Just give it some time and remain positive. Jot down your accomplishments. Although you are not where you expected, that does not mean it's bad. Bask in the positives!