The big dirty 30

Hello MFP'ers!

My girlfriend has been in the works of planning this crazy surprise thing for my 30th bday. Apparently it's a two day thing and I have to find a dress that I "feel beautiful in". Uhhh...



...the way I look now, that is NOT happening!

I need to lose about 20 pounds by April 16th, which I think is totally possible (although 14 pounds in that time frame would be "healthier"). So that's where you all come in...I need help! Working out isn't really the issue, it's FOOD that is the issue. I'm such a gluttonous pig now :( When I was at my goal weight, I didn't have issues with food. However I don't know if I was doing it in the healthiest of ways either :-/ Feel free to add me if you would like to help me reach my goal! I don't want to look back at pictures of this special day and hate myself. Thanks ya'll! <3

Replies

  • azneee
    azneee Posts: 25 Member
    Ditch the words "hate myself" completely from your vocabulary.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    You can lose 20 pounds in that time frame taking drastic measures, but if that's a current picture of you, you should probably just change your attitude. You don't need a dress to make you feel beautiful. You can do that on your own.
  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    azneee wrote: »
    Ditch the words "hate myself" completely from your vocabulary.

    Figure of speech. I don't hate myself, but next time I'll be a little more cautious in case anyone were to take everything I say literally.
  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    You can lose 20 pounds in that time frame taking drastic measures, but if that's a current picture of you, you should probably just change your attitude. You don't need a dress to make you feel beautiful. You can do that on your own.

    I don't understand comments like that. If fitting into a dress and being happy with the way I look is an issue, then what are half the people on this site doing? It's a NSV. If my waist isn't trim or my legs aren't as toned, or I am just larger than what I prefer to be and I feel insecure because of that when I am wearing a dress, I don't think it's indicative of having any attitude issues. Seeking out mfp'ers who are on track with me is what I was looking for. I already know I can feel beautiful on my own...hence my desire to take the steps necessary to make that a reality.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    You can lose 20 pounds in that time frame taking drastic measures, but if that's a current picture of you, you should probably just change your attitude. You don't need a dress to make you feel beautiful. You can do that on your own.

    I don't understand comments like that. If fitting into a dress and being happy with the way I look is an issue, then what are half the people on this site doing? It's a NSV. If my waist isn't trim or my legs aren't as toned, or I am just larger than what I prefer to be and I feel insecure because of that when I am wearing a dress, I don't think it's indicative of having any attitude issues. Seeking out mfp'ers who are on track with me is what I was looking for. I already know I can feel beautiful on my own...hence my desire to take the steps necessary to make that a reality.

    Well, in case you missed it, I was handing you a compliment by saying you're already beautiful and you don't need a certain shape or dress to emanate that on your birthday. There's no need to get defensive. I'm just saying that regardless of what you look like, I hope you enjoy your birthday and all the ones after that.
  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    You can lose 20 pounds in that time frame taking drastic measures, but if that's a current picture of you, you should probably just change your attitude. You don't need a dress to make you feel beautiful. You can do that on your own.

    I don't understand comments like that. If fitting into a dress and being happy with the way I look is an issue, then what are half the people on this site doing? It's a NSV. If my waist isn't trim or my legs aren't as toned, or I am just larger than what I prefer to be and I feel insecure because of that when I am wearing a dress, I don't think it's indicative of having any attitude issues. Seeking out mfp'ers who are on track with me is what I was looking for. I already know I can feel beautiful on my own...hence my desire to take the steps necessary to make that a reality.

    Well, in case you missed it, I was handing you a compliment by saying you're already beautiful and you don't need a certain shape or dress to emanate that on your birthday. There's no need to get defensive. I'm just saying that regardless of what you look like, I hope you enjoy your birthday and all the ones after that.


    I appreciate it, thank you very much. I wasn't getting defensive; I was stating I didn't understand the comment because I historically have had experience with people saying, oh you don't need to do this, you don't need to do that or assume I have body dysphoria so I was explaining what I was trying to do with posting what I did. Glad we both cleared things up :) Thanks for the well wishes on my birthday as well
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    Nobody is going to be looking at you on that night or in pictures afterwards wondering what your number on the scale is. You should absolutely aim to lose weight between now and then if that's what you're going for, but judging by your photo, it looks like you're in great shape already. Go, have fun, be confident, and wear something that makes you feel beautiful.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    edited February 2015
    Set more realiatic goals for yourself, which should include, raising your self esteem and insecurities. Self hate is a horrible thing. Hope you get some help. Good luck.
  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
    I think you look good in your picture already coming from a guys perspective. If you want to tone up some no one would complain, but like others have posted you already look good.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,014 Member
    Woo sah.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    FWIW - 20lbs in 6ish weeks is pretty optimistic. I'd set a more realistic goal of somethign like 10lbs. Then spend some time finding just the right dress. Half of looking good is knowing what you look good in. Very few people can look good in anything, IMO.
  • StephMDtoo
    StephMDtoo Posts: 37 Member
    For a quick fix, though not at all a permanent one, you could avoid foods that lead to bloating and water retention for a few days before the weekend. You could continue to diet and workout realistically that way without added stress and have a slimmer appearance still, but it will be water loss. Just steer clear of salt, processed flour and sugar stuff (whole grain is always awesome), cruciferous veggies like broccoli and cabbage, and bubbly drinks.
    Remember too, you're going to be your own worse critic and everyone else will probably think you look way freakin' fab.
  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    taunto wrote: »
    Set more realiatic goals for yourself, which should include, raising your self esteem and insecurities. Self hate is a horrible thing. Hope you get some help. Good luck.

    Help with what?

  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    srslybritt wrote: »
    Nobody is going to be looking at you on that night or in pictures afterwards wondering what your number on the scale is. You should absolutely aim to lose weight between now and then if that's what you're going for, but judging by your photo, it looks like you're in great shape already. Go, have fun, be confident, and wear something that makes you feel beautiful.

    Thank you <3
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    edited February 2015
    taunto wrote: »
    Set more realiatic goals for yourself, which should include, raising your self esteem and insecurities. Self hate is a horrible thing. Hope you get some help. Good luck.

    Help with what?

    With self image/perception. Based on your wording and your stated goals, compared to your current profile pic, some people may think you could have self image/perception/esteem problems.
  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    Hmm. I had no idea I was coming across that way :\ To be quite honest, my goal weight would make me average for my height. The number really isn't that much of a focus because if I am able to look the way I did when I felt most comfortable, I'd be fine if the numbers never changed. It just really sucks that I was very genuine and enthusiastic about reaching out to the mfp community and I feel like I've been met with such nastiness and judgment. I'm sure it's out of concern, but it just comes off the wrong way and it's very hurtful (not saying that's what you did, but in general with the responses I feel I've gotten)
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    edited February 2015
    FWIW - it's most definitely out of concern. But look at it from our perspective.


    I have to find a dress that I "feel beautiful in". Uhhh... the way I look now, that is NOT happening!
    hard on yourself much?

    I need to lose about 20 pounds by April 16th
    that's unrealistic and unhealthy


    I'm such a gluttonous pig now
    strong words


    I don't want to look back at pictures of this special day and hate myself.
    really? hate yourself? I know you went on to clarify that it was just an expression, but look at how your original post sounds.



    And all of that is in reference to this:

    5cd1a4d1bb303c90ef265a6b870ac944163e.jpg
  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    Wow...

    I had to read your post three times...

    Smh, I guess I got so used to speaking a certain way and thinking a certain way that it has become second nature. I *feel* like I don't hate myself, but it sure comes across that way when I speak/type. Jeez...thanks for putting it in perspective.
  • jenna_watsonator
    jenna_watsonator Posts: 99 Member
    StephMDtoo wrote: »
    For a quick fix, though not at all a permanent one, you could avoid foods that lead to bloating and water retention for a few days before the weekend. You could continue to diet and workout realistically that way without added stress and have a slimmer appearance still, but it will be water loss. Just steer clear of salt, processed flour and sugar stuff (whole grain is always awesome), cruciferous veggies like broccoli and cabbage, and bubbly drinks.
    Remember too, you're going to be your own worse critic and everyone else will probably think you look way freakin' fab.

    Thank you! I really appreciate the tips as well, I'm sure they will help :)
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Wow...

    I had to read your post three times...

    Smh, I guess I got so used to speaking a certain way and thinking a certain way that it has become second nature. I *feel* like I don't hate myself, but it sure comes across that way when I speak/type. Jeez...thanks for putting it in perspective.

    No worries, just realize that we aren't having an actual conversation, so we can't read things like body language or tone of voice. All we have to go on are words. What you actually mean *could* be very different than how it sounds... part of the downside to the interweb.