My BF is scared

KendraElmendorf
KendraElmendorf Posts: 837 Member
edited September 27 in Health and Weight Loss
My boyfriend is scared that I am starving myself. I'm supposed to be eating 1200 calories a day.I'm 5'1" and striving for about 110. my weight should be between 108 and 122 and I am currently 138. I used to eat about the same as him (he's 6'4" and 210) before MFP. I'm trying to help him understand that this is the amount that i should be eating for my size and weight. He is scared that me thinking i am fat is going to lead to me being really, really skinny again, 95-100ish. (he saw pictures of how skinny i was before him about 2 years ago and before). I'm starting to scare myself thinking that he might be right in the long run, but i want to lose my padding before i freak out totally. How do i explain to him that what i'm currently doing is healthy? or am i totally off base in what i should be eating and striving for? I'm opening my food diary to public if anybody has any feedback for me.

PS he supports me and loves me, he's just scared for me

Replies

  • JesaGrace
    JesaGrace Posts: 799 Member
    You're eating enough....I'm 5 feet even and I'm eating the same calorie count you are ..... b/tw 1200-1500 calories....i've always been on the round side my whole life, so i've never been too skinny.....
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    Explain that the calories restriction are also to help you lose the last few pounds ina healthy way and you will slowly increase your caloric intake once you have reached your goal. I can eat more then you because Im taller and heavier and still lose, and thats what makes a difference. But maybe show him your current MFP goal settings then adjust them to Maintain your weight, to show the caloric difference. Guys are visual
  • krissy_pooo
    krissy_pooo Posts: 111 Member
    if you aren't starving when eating 1200 cals a day then I say you're fine. Sometimes I struggle to get to 1000 and it's because im simply not hungry. If you find that on 1200 you are hungry then try to see what you could change in terms of what will keep you more full. But don't worry about the 1200, calories are annoying and half the time I don't even count them because as long as you are watching your carb and protein intake your cals should be where they need to be (personally that's what I find)
  • denise980
    denise980 Posts: 296
    Be open and honest with him and let him know that you are doing this in a healthy manner and that MFP is going to help you acheive that in a healthy way.

    As one of the people above said, maybe show him what MFP says to do. That way you can continue an honest relationship with him.
  • ashleyjo2
    ashleyjo2 Posts: 13
    Hey..im 5 foot and 138...1200 cal is my diet as well, but I actually dont eat all of that. I also burn alot of calories doing cardio. So I think you are doin fine


    ash
  • Mrs_TrimWaistFatWallet
    Mrs_TrimWaistFatWallet Posts: 486
    "..............I really appreciate your concern and that you're looking out for me. I've read up on how many calories I should be eating based on my height <<show him a reliable calculator for this>> and I'm using MFP to safely calculate my intake. I'm also using its recommended guide to losing weight slowly and safely until I reach my healthy goal of ##goal##, which is between the recommended 108-122#. Don't worry, I realize how skinny I used to be and I am doing everything healthy. You've done everything to support me and I really appreciate it..........."

    or something :) Good luck!
  • ladyhawk00
    ladyhawk00 Posts: 2,457 Member
    As long as you put in a realistic loss per week goal and were accurate entering your info, and are MEETING your cal and macro goals each day, then you're doing exactly what you need to do. However, remember that as we get older (yes, even from 20 to 25), our bodies are different and basing a goal off where you were at some point in the past isn't always best. But as long as you have a healthy body image and use health as your goal, rather than some arbitrary weight, you'll do great.

    It is often scary for family members or significant others when we make big changes in our lives. Just give him time to catch up.
  • docshar
    docshar Posts: 16
    It sounds like the explanations you've given him so far haven't eased his mind. Another idea would be to go have a physical and discuss it with your doctor (as long as you have insurance/can afford that). Hearing that a doctor said what you're doing is healthy might be more convincing for him.
  • syates83
    syates83 Posts: 87
    The best way is to get him to join MFP too...then he will see. Tell him that you don't have to join the site only to lose weight...you can join just to be healthier and maintain too.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Maybe you could bulk up your diet more with some fruits and vegetables. It won't add many calories, and it will ultimately be healthier for you.
  • AliCat2705
    AliCat2705 Posts: 22
    My husband gets this way sometimes too. I am smaller and have lost a lot of weight recently and he worries that I starve myself. I have the same intake as you. But I just have to remind him that a 2000 calorie diet is not for everyone. That girls can't typically eat like guys and that you have goals. As long as you are doing it healthy and not anything drastic or dangerous then there is nothing wrong with it.
  • Sarahr73
    Sarahr73 Posts: 454 Member
    I can see his concern since it is probably a drastic change in how many calories you are eating now compared to before. I would find a couple of articles explaining that below 1200 is starving yourself so he understands you are aware of what is good and what is bad. And then let him know why you are doing this. If you tell him what your goal weight is and find something to help back you up on how that is an ok goal weight for your height, he really has no reason to be scared. I think he is just worried you will get too thin like you said you were before. He has every reason to be scared, you just need to wipe out those reasons and show him you are doing this the smart way and will not be unhealthy.
  • angel_ks78
    angel_ks78 Posts: 3 Member
    I could see why he would worry. If my boyfriend and I didn't start this together I am not sure I would understand either. Seeing the change in our eating habits has freaked out everyone! LOL! All of these ideas are wonderful ones. I actually heard about this website through my Doctor. When I was asking her what I should do to lose weight this is where she sent me. I have been seeing her the past few months to make sure I am on track with eating the right way. If your bf is still worried after seeing all of these posts have him call a doctor and talk to them. I know before I started that even though it didn't look like I ate that much the calorie intake was outrageous!! SO now that I am eating 4-5 meals a day they are smaller and someone that is not use to it would think it looks like we are all starving ourselves! It is awesome that he cares so much and if you show him all of this I bet it will help a lot!

    Here is a pretty good article that could give some perspective.

    http://weightloss.about.com/od/caloriecounting/f/howmanycalories.htm

    The calorie counter is just like MFP does. With the 6 month goals.

    Hope this helps! We all need great support so feel free to message me!
  • KendraElmendorf
    KendraElmendorf Posts: 837 Member
    Thank you all for your input
This discussion has been closed.

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