How do you react when people tell you that you have lost enough?

Robbnva
Robbnva Posts: 590 Member
edited November 13 in Motivation and Support
I don't feel like I have, yet people tell me I don't need to lose anymore. Its kind of annoying. I have at least 20 more to go.

Replies

  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    It depends who's telling me it and what they mean by it, and what my weight actually is.

    Someone you work with, when you mention your weight loss efforts = quite possibly they're just giving you a compliment and saying you look good now.

    Parent/close friend/partner = are they concerned about your health, or are they unused to seeing you slimmer?

    If you know that losing 20lbs will make you happier with your appearance, won't make you underweight, and you feel you can get there and sustain it healthily, doesn't matter what others think to a large degree.
  • coueswhitetail
    coueswhitetail Posts: 309 Member
    I think people's body images have become distorted due to seeing so many overweight people now. I think it makes people think being overweight is normal, it's like as a society we have changed our "what is a normal weight standard". I had someone tell me the same thing recently but I have at least 20 lbs more to lose. You asked what I tell people when they say that, I didn't say anything really....just moved on to another conversation. Just do what is best for your health and don't worry about other people.
  • Robbnva
    Robbnva Posts: 590 Member
    Yeah, in hind sight I've been guilty of saying the same to people, I think its a way to compliment the person in a round about way. My wife says she thinks I'm fine at my weight, but I'm not even under 200 yet. I could probably get to 175 if I wanted to, but I want to get to at least 185 personally. When I look in the mirror and see the fat still on my stomach, I know I'm not done losing. Even 185 is considered overweight which is ludacris to me.
  • Alassonde
    Alassonde Posts: 228 Member
    People tell me I'm underweight. I'm 5' 4" and currently 125 pounds. I have very little muscle mass (working on that!) so I do have more fat than most people probably would at that weight (all on the stomach). I do think it's a skewed image of "normal"....most of the people I know are overweight or obese and they all seem to think I'm underweight. I would like to lose a little more fat (like at the most 5 pounds) but I don't actually tell anyone that or they will go on about how I'm "anorexic".
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Yeah everyone is telling me that and it's driving me nuts. I'm 133 pounds at 5'5", sure, I have some muscle, but still, I could still easily lose 5-8 pounds of fat.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    My husband wanted to know when I was going to be off my "diet" and start eating "normally" again. My answer was "never". Eating "normally" is what made me gain the weight and I am never doing that again. My "diet" food is my "normal' food now. Sometimes people say you are too skinny because they want you to go back to the old habits that they were more comfortable with.
  • librarydebster
    librarydebster Posts: 177 Member
    Just don't tell them u r working on losing more. Just say u love being active and that your body will adjust as it needs to. Do whatever u think is healthy for u.
  • aprilwatkins96
    aprilwatkins96 Posts: 7 Member
    I agree that our societal standard for healthy weight has been altered, even though there is so much discussion about the epidemic of obesity. I think it is important to focus on what is best for you. As long as your goals are healthy and reasonable for someone of your size, then keep working towards what you want for yourself.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    Lift your shirt and show them your fat rolls. That shuts them up pretty fast.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    I just say oh thanks, you're sweet. And ignore it.
  • rileyes
    rileyes Posts: 1,406 Member
    Some people don't like change. You're messing up their world. :wink:
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    As long as your doctor says its ok or needed, keep losing. But at the same point try not to focus too much on "the fat on your stomach." It's hard, and I am the Queen of Selfcritique. It is so hard to take a step back and say, "Yes I still need to lose, but I look great!"

    Most people say I don't need to lose weight because I have defined waist. So my favorite is when people say, "Oh you look great, you don't need to lose anything!" and I look them square in the eye with the most deadened face and reply, "Actually, I am 20 pounds over weight and have 30% bodyfat. My grandfather had diabetes and died at 64. So I really do need to lose the weight." It shuts them up nicely.
  • bettybing1
    bettybing1 Posts: 162 Member
    The lightest I've ever been was about 2 years ago, I was about 136lbs and a UK size 10/12. I'm 5'4" so really at that weight i was towards the top end of my BMI. People were really weirded out by my smaller size despite the fact that several of my friends were, and are still, slimmer than me. No one was used to a smaller me and I was nowhere near eating problem territory but still had the "I think that's enough now" guff - it's perspective at the end of the day.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    MYOB
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    kbmnurse wrote: »
    MYOB

    My brain translated this to "make your own booze." And I thought "that's not helpful at all!"
  • Roxiegirl2008
    Roxiegirl2008 Posts: 756 Member
    I smile, say I am working really hard and say thank you for noticing.
  • kmorgan221
    kmorgan221 Posts: 206 Member
    My response is always the same. "Really, I was just thinking you could lose a few more."

    When they're insulted, ask them why what they said wasn't insulting.
  • Robbnva
    Robbnva Posts: 590 Member
    Josalinn wrote: »
    kbmnurse wrote: »
    MYOB

    My brain translated this to "make your own booze." And I thought "that's not helpful at all!"

    Idk, it could be ;)
  • kamakazeekim
    kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
    My family and co-workers have been telling me not to lose any more weight. I just smile and nod. I know what they are saying is coming from an area of care and concern. I have lost a dramatic amount of weight in a relatively short amount of time. I am only 5'3 and weight just under 130 pounds....I'd like to lose 5 to 10 more pounds.
  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
    If they're not close to you, just say, "Thanks, I feel good these days." And maybe even if they are. It's none of their business.

    You've made amazing progress - congratulations!

  • CorlissaEats
    CorlissaEats Posts: 493 Member
    I have about 20lbs to go. I am actually at the point where I just don't tell people I still want to lose more. Its been my experience that it takes at least 30lbs for others to notice, and most won't actually comment until you hit 40 or 50lbs lost. Those measly 20lbs are unlikely to show outwardly anyways so its none of their business. Plus, the last 20 is about me and how I want to look naked. Its not about the scale anymore.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    Sounds like a good problem to have. I aspire to some day have someone tell me I've lost enough. lol.

    I did have a coworker say "You only have like 15lbs left to lose right?" She was genuinely serious. I'm 5'3" and 189, so I have 15lbs to be merely overweight and not obese. lol
  • littleaudrey85
    littleaudrey85 Posts: 45 Member
    edited February 2015
    jennifershoo wrote: »
    Lift your shirt and show them your fat rolls. That shuts them up pretty fast.

    Lol I like this advice. I think people perceive bodies differently because they are covered in clothes. Unless you see me naked, or better yet live in my naked body then you really don't get to have an opinion on my body.
  • Robbnva
    Robbnva Posts: 590 Member
    zarckon wrote: »
    If they're not close to you, just say, "Thanks, I feel good these days." And maybe even if they are. It's none of their business.

    You've made amazing progress - congratulations!

    Thanks, and I think I just won't tell people I'm still losing, not like they would be able to notice anyway.
  • Wellsuzie
    Wellsuzie Posts: 12 Member
    Just say "I am feeling good, and how are you?"
  • Robbnva
    Robbnva Posts: 590 Member
    littleaudrey85 wrote: »
    jennifershoo wrote: »
    Lift your shirt and show them your fat rolls. That shuts them up pretty fast.

    Lol I like this advice. I think people perceive bodies differently because they are covered in clothes. Unless you see me naked, or better yet live in my naked body then you really don't get to have an opinion on my body.

    Yeah, good point
  • riffraff2112
    riffraff2112 Posts: 1,756 Member
    I usually just say..."I am really not trying to lose more but I am kind of addicted to fitness right now". Something along those lines.
    Or "To be honest I am trying to take this as far as I can and have a few lbs I want to lose"

    You have to look at yourself in the mirror and know what your goals are.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I have not had this happen. I have had people say "Oh, you are still losing? Well you look great right now." And then I just say "Thank you. Yeah, I still have a bit of fat in those 'hard to lose' spots that I'm working on. So now I'm more or less fine tuning myself rather than trying to make big changes."
  • kmcgallery
    kmcgallery Posts: 123 Member
    A while back I was down to 142# and I'm 5'8". According to my Dr. that was the target and I did feel good there. I wasn't toned, so things jiggled, but didn't have rolls when I sat down anymore, so it was good. My friends would say I had lost too much, but I dismissed them thinking they were jealous over my success.

    I've put about 15 back on now :\ and what I notice looking back at the pics is that frequently, due to my bone structure, my face looked gaunt. My body looked pretty good, but having lost the volume in my face......sometimes it wasn't very flattering, but it wasn't anything I noticed at the time. I was on a mission! Get back haters! LOL

    I have a cousin who struggled with his weight for many years and he lost a lot of weight. I got his Christmas card in the mail and my first impression was that he looked sick, but it was really just how his face had changed.

    When we age we loose volume in our faces and then add a big weight loss and it's even more noticeable.........
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
    Depends how they phrase it. If they say "you look good, you don't *look like* you need to lose weight " or similar I say thank you, and possibly "I'm lucky my fat tends to be distributed quite low so it doesn't show so much".

    If they say something along the lines of "don't lose any more weight or you'll be too skinny " ie an instruction, I say "actually my BMI still has me at overweight and I want to be in the middle of the healthy range, because I want to do as much as I can to avoid the health issues that come with being overweight. " or sometimes if I'm feeling humorous "I've put on a bit over the last couple of years and I want to nip it in the bud before I end up on biggest loser "
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