weight double standards

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  • airborne18th
    airborne18th Posts: 57 Member
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    it is also that people are trying to be sensitive. so they will generally avoid talking about weight and most physical issues if there is a not a positive comment or compliment.

    It is no different when people see someone with a walker, cane, or wheelchair. If they are elderly you don't think anything of it.. but when they are younger people tend to not comment and even avoid them. however; if you saw them months later and they were not getting around in a wheelchair you would comment.. because you can make a positive. "it's great you are getting around so much better".
  • iRun_Butterfly
    iRun_Butterfly Posts: 483 Member
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    Just experienced this recently myself, twice actually. One of my cousins told my father that I look "anorexic" and one of my friends said that I look too thin. I'm 5'3", and hanging out at about 140. I don't think either of those accurately describe me. I had a really hard time with both of those statements, they really hurt my feelings, but I reminded myself to first of all, consider the source, and secondly appreciate that people hate change, especially when it reminds them of their own issues.
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
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    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's even worse if you are a female who has some muscle. People call my body gross or manly.
    You should take that as an invitation to show of your guns. B)
  • alastria
    alastria Posts: 65 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Personally, I've never dealt with this, but from what I read here it is very common. Read some other threads on this topic. There have been many. I think you'll get some good advice.

    I am fit (and according to others "thin"), but I've never had anyone comment on my weight - to my face. Perhaps they do it behind my back (yep, talking about you, mom & sister, who are both obese and blame it on 'genes" when neither will workout or change their eating habits). Anyway, I have been told that I give of a "standoff-ish" vibe overall, so I think people just don't say anything to me out loud. Not sure what that says about me, but I also don't care.

    Aww, I have two very big sisters, and one sister who is slim, but the other two just refuse to do anything about it. My father is muscular, but also has way too much fat, and my mother is very, very slim, but they are definitely not supportive at all. The two big sisters blame it on genes I think, but honestly, obesity doesn't really run in the family. I'm working hard to take it off without a doubt.

    I never experience anyone telling me I'm too thin (and I was 5'6 and 125 pounds before) simply because in the city I live, it is absolutely imperative one is small and thin. Not just "fit", but the emaciated look in my city is the "in" thing. We have the lowest obesity rate in country, and we are second lowest in North America (roughly around, the 1-4th cities/provinces/states fluctuate in stats), and without a doubt, our numbers of obese people come from the range group: age 40+.
    The smaller/skinnier you are, the more praise you get. No one ever seems to think someone is "too thin" here.

    As for those who live in cities that DO have that sort of mentality, I say, just shrug 'em off. Some commenters mentioned jealously, and honestly, that's probably a factor.

  • ddixon503
    ddixon503 Posts: 119 Member
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    Maybe I'm being too blunt (and I apologize for it) but perhaps you should worry less (or none at all) about what other people think about you. By letting their opinions 'tick you off', you're just letting them affect you. You see yourself as 'fit and healthy' - end of story.
  • Khukhullatus
    Khukhullatus Posts: 361 Member
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    My personal opinion is that we are way way too sensitive about body issues as a nation, at least here in the US. It sucks to be singled out for your weight be that too thin, too fat, healthy but appearing too thin, too muscular, or even having a perfect body sculpted of Italian marble.

    Obesity is now health culprit number one, and as a fun corollary anorexia is on the rise. This needs to be something we talk about, even if that means that occasionally our individual weight comes up in conversation. It really sucks that is where we are at, and it's not going to be fun to have it come up more, but it needs to happen.
  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
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    I don't think it's right to comment on other people's bodies, and I am sorry that insensitive people hurt your feelings.

    However, being thin you will receive many advantages over being fat. That's why so many people are here trying to lose weight, and only a miniscule number trying to become more fat (muscular yes, but not fat).

    For every 1 person who will discriminate against you in any way for being "too thin" there are 10 or more who will discriminate against you if you are too fat (for society's standards). So yes, there are haters and everyone feels that they're entitled to an opinion. But I have a hard time listening to people complain about all the discrimination against thin/attractive people, in the same way that I don't listen to people complain about discrimination against men, white people, or rich people.

    ON BALANCE, when you add everything up, if you think you were treated better when you were fat, I'd love to hear about that. Similarly, I have yet to hear a person complain about "discrimination against white people" who would agree to accept an instantaneous race-change procedure to become black so they could enjoy all the many and varied privileges that come with being black in American society ;)

    Take the little bit of bad with the tons of good. Congratulations on your loss. I'm looking forward to losing 30 more lbs so my body will be socially acceptable again and I can get on with the rest of my life.
  • jim180155
    jim180155 Posts: 769 Member
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    The people in this thread should get together with the people in this other thread: community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10097216/how-long-was-it-before-others-noticed#latest
  • 3furballs
    3furballs Posts: 476 Member
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    The only time anyone commented was a friend of my husband's who made a comment about how I should put on some weight. I just ignored him. I don't like him to start with and since I'm just shy of 5'7" and usually around 140 lbs (pretty muscular), and he's about an inch taller maybe and probably weighs 20 lbs less than me I found it very ironic and kind of funny. Specially knowing I could wipe the floor with him.

    Though I thought about it and if the comment had been that real women have curves I would have been tempted to say real men have muscle. Just to piss him off and remind him that words can hurt.
  • ColinsMommaOC
    ColinsMommaOC Posts: 296 Member
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    I think a lot of people's perceptions of what a healthy weight actually looks like are off... Or maybe its just people I know. I have had a lot of people tell me I was crazy when I said I wanted to lose 150lb. They were shocked when they found out I was over 300lb. They said they thought I was closer to 250 and didnt need to lose more than 50-60lb... I would have loved to have been that much closer!

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