Working out socially

Options
Lebatsirk
Lebatsirk Posts: 27 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Hi there :smile:

Any suggestions or tips on how to work out with a friend who's not the same level as you when it comes to the gym?

I found out today that a friend of mine has just joined the gym, and since the past year the gym has been a solitary thing for me, I must admit my face lit up when I realised I might actually be able to go "with" someone for some of my sessions.

I've been doing this for a while now though, and am really happy with my current routine but she's just starting out and I don't think she's really been to the gym before so it's all very new to her.

I'd like to be able to make my gym sessions less solitary (and perhaps even provide some useful advice or motivation to my friend if she knows she's not alone!) but I'm concerned that I'll either end up sacrificing my progress by easing back so we can work together more, or I'll put her off by demotivating her even though I was in the same boat a matter of months ago and if she can stick with it I know she'd be able to 'catch up' to a more similar level pretty soon.

I'm only doing basic cardio and weights - nothing fancy at this stage - but my current programme is brilliant for challenging me without it being too much. I know I'm probably overthinking this, but I just don't want to ruin this opportunity as until now NONE of my friends enjoy exercise at all so this is something I've been doing by myself.

Any hints or suggestions from others who don't work out alone? I'm used to it just being me and my earphones LOL!

Thanks in advance :smiley:

Replies

  • esjones12
    esjones12 Posts: 1,363 Member
    Options
    For cardio you can add a weight vest or more resistance on the machines. Or go faster on the machine. For weights lift heavier or show your friend a more basic move. Or just help her draw up a routine and do some different stuff near you. If you are getting a good work out you need to be focused on you anyways. Being there together, warming up and cooling down together and chatting quick between sets is great accountability and social. Ya gotta lift the weights and run the distance by yourself though.

    Good luck!!
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Options
    Do not make gym time social time.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    edited February 2015
    Options
    dbmata wrote: »
    Do not make gym time social time.
    My thoughts exactly.

    If you friend needs help, take the time to show her. Then once she is comfortable, go about your own thang.

    I also hate running with people. A) No I don't want to talk. B ) Your pace is too slow for me so I am wasting my time. C). Bug off!
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Options
    I absolutely love the coffee shop for social hour and sewing circle afterwards.
  • elleykat
    elleykat Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    I go to the gym with a friend. We do a water aerobics class together 3 times a week - we chat in the locker room before and after, and while we're warming up before class, but when it comes time to get down to business we're each doing our thing at our own level and pace. She's also half a foot taller than me so we need to stand in pretty different parts of the pool to be at our optimum depth!

    What type of weights/strength are you doing? If you're doing machines, you could work around eachother and you do the machine while she has her rest period, then she does it while you rest. Or you could do a machine while she's at the next one on the list, then switch, or follow each other down the line. I think that working out together can work as long as you go about it as more the way men tend to bond than the way women do. Women tend to view bonding as talking and sharing dialogue, while men are often content to just occupy the same physical space. My husband and I often spend time sitting on the couch, him playing video games and me reading, and while we're not actually interacting the very act of sharing that same space creates a feeling of closeness.

    Or think of it like going to see a movie - you're still "hanging out" at the movie, but during the movie itself you're not talking. It's fun to have a shared experience, and afterward you can talk about it, what was fun, what challenged you, how terrible/great the instructor was...
  • Lebatsirk
    Lebatsirk Posts: 27 Member
    Options
    Ah ok some interesting advice there!

    Sounds like I need to stick with only speaking to another adult human being when hubby's home in the evening (before he goes out for his own gym/swim sessions each night that is)!

    What's been said makes sense though, although I don't have any other social time which is why I was asking cos I do everything alone at the moment... or with the dog, but she makes even less sense than when I talk to the voices in my head. Oh well!

    Thanks :smile:
  • dougpconnell219
    dougpconnell219 Posts: 566 Member
    Options
    I used to work out with a friend that was way more fit than me.

    Wed so the same exercises, just using different weight. He'd bench his weight, we'd take some plates off, I'd do my piddly weight, etc. So however many sets, then go to another piece of equipment. Not that hard.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    Options
    Lebatsirk wrote: »
    Ah ok some interesting advice there!

    Sounds like I need to stick with only speaking to another adult human being when hubby's home in the evening (before he goes out for his own gym/swim sessions each night that is)!

    What's been said makes sense though, although I don't have any other social time which is why I was asking cos I do everything alone at the moment... or with the dog, but she makes even less sense than when I talk to the voices in my head. Oh well!

    Thanks :smile:

    You're more than allowed to, don't take our advice wrong. I see people being able to workout together lots.

    Just not my thing! Find what works for you.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Options
    People are too free with the amount and topics they speak about. Let alone speak about in public.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    Options
    dbmata wrote: »
    I absolutely love the coffee shop for social hour and sewing circle afterwards.
    Stitch and b*tch, gotcha.
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
    Options
    I've trained with someone a year more advanced than me, I'm currently training with someone that's about a year and a half less training time than me. Both times we've used the same training splits and just shifted weight on/off depending on who's turn it is.

    With things like bench, squats etc it's usually easy, I'm usually only doing an extra 50kg/110lb more than him maximum so I can just slap on plates to the side of his. If it's more we'll just use two different barbells to avoid shifting weights constantly!

    Everything else we can just get our own dumbbells or cable machines etc, I haven't felt any compromises in my workouts so far!
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    Options
    I would have a hard time making it social. It would be nice to work out with someone that way id have someone to talk to and make it more fun. However
    , if a friend of mine went to the gym with me, We wouldn't be doing the same things. We just have different Interests when it comes to working out. I'm not willing to sacrifice my workout routine and do something different for the sake of having a buddy.
  • Roxiegirl2008
    Roxiegirl2008 Posts: 756 Member
    Options
    I am sort of a mix here. My husband and I run at the same time just not together. We are very different runners. He is much faster than me. We will meet at the end of the run and then have lunch or coffee. I feel the same way about going to the gym. It is nice to have someone there to meet (accountability reasons) but I don't like to talk. In fact the only person I will talk with is my trainer and that is because she is typically making me do some really hard things and she talks to keep my mind off of it.

    Perhaps show her the ropes...maybe come up with a circuit that you both can do at your own pace.
  • cwilson72180
    cwilson72180 Posts: 30 Member
    Options
    I think it is nice that you want to help your friend out. I understand that you want to help her out while not sacrificing your own level. Maybe you could just show her the ropes real quick and then get back into your own thing.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Options
    dougpconnell219 wrote: »
    I used to work out with a friend that was way more fit than me.

    Wed so the same exercises, just using different weight. He'd bench his weight, we'd take some plates off, I'd do my piddly weight, etc. So however many sets, then go to another piece of equipment. Not that hard.

    This times a million. I've worked out with people both much stronger and weaker than me. Not only does it work out fine both ways, the workouts were much better than what I would do on my on. Note that although an individual session might not go as smoothly as when I'm alone, but the overall progress was always light years ahead of the progress I made solo.

    When it comes to in gym cardio, different abilities don't matter. You don't lapping nobody on no treadmill or in zumba
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    Options
    Just go together, show her some stuff if she wants, do your respective things, check in between sets or time on the machines, and have a smoothie afterwards :) It'll be good. Maybe the first few times, you'll be showing her stuff a lot, but she'll figure her own thing out soon enough.

    The only things that could potentially suck about working out with someone else are 1) scheduling or 2) if they hate it / aren't motivated / want to leave. (Or 3), if they're more advanced and decide they want to actually coach you against your will, when you have a thing you're already doing, but that's not relevant here). Otherwise, pretend it's gym class :)
  • manhn1
    manhn1 Posts: 137 Member
    Options
    Once per month, I go to a class with a friend. It's fun. I don't know why you can't make working out social. It's easier to be social in a gym setting than outdoors. Running side-by-side on treadmills is a lot easier to be social than running side-by-side outside, if one is faster than the other,
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
    Options
    Sorry, gym time to me, is "work" it time. I can socially say hi to people, but I need to be in the zone and don't have time for any interference.

Categories