Stop expecting perfection and it is much easier
Zedeff
Posts: 651 Member
I see constant posts on here every day of people wailing about transgressions. People say "I'm addicted to sugar, I binge ate last night, my friends want to go to the pub, what can I eat a restaurant, etc. etc." and they panic about breaking the "rules."
Stop it! Stop worrying so much. Do you really think that a single day of going out for a celebratory meal, having a few beers or eating fried chicken will undo ALL of the work you did?
I've been logging for 107 days, starting as a 5'9" 258 lb male. I've lost 29 lbs. As my calorie graph below should show, I HAVE NOT BEEN PERFECT! You don't have to be perfect. You just have to maintain a NET deficit over time. Forget about single meals or days; worry about net weeks, or even better, net months, and you will have long-term success.
Because I know I'll get called out: Yes I have several days logging <1000 calories. No, I don't agree with you that this is dangerous. My job involves working lots of nights and travel; sometimes after working nights I'll sleep all day, wake up and have only 1 meal left in the day, meaning a ~600 calorie day without actually feeling hungry.
Stop it! Stop worrying so much. Do you really think that a single day of going out for a celebratory meal, having a few beers or eating fried chicken will undo ALL of the work you did?
I've been logging for 107 days, starting as a 5'9" 258 lb male. I've lost 29 lbs. As my calorie graph below should show, I HAVE NOT BEEN PERFECT! You don't have to be perfect. You just have to maintain a NET deficit over time. Forget about single meals or days; worry about net weeks, or even better, net months, and you will have long-term success.
Because I know I'll get called out: Yes I have several days logging <1000 calories. No, I don't agree with you that this is dangerous. My job involves working lots of nights and travel; sometimes after working nights I'll sleep all day, wake up and have only 1 meal left in the day, meaning a ~600 calorie day without actually feeling hungry.
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Replies
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You've done a really good job.
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I wouldn't criticise an occasional off day (100cal) it is an anomaly in your case, not the norm.
People who want to do it day in day out are the ones that people worry about.
Good job on your loss and tracking.
I am fish and chips English style tonight, yum.
Cheers, h.0 -
agree OP …eat the foods that you enjoy, don't worry about the BS "bad" foods, maintain a deficit, and the weight will come off….
too man people stress about eating clean or healthy, or only eating "good" foods…
congrats on your progress0 -
Yep. I sit here at 39.6 pounds lost since may. In the beginning I was one of those people who felt guilt about a night out or anger when my calorie went negative red.
But I eventually got over it and have consistently lost, despite going over once a week or so.
Tonight I took my 9 year old son on a date. We had whopper jrs and fries and hot fudge sundaes from sonic. That's what he wanted and even though I ended up eating every single one of my exercise calories back today, I don't care. We had fun. And he has a new memory. That's so much more than a day of being under and perfect.0 -
higgins8283801 wrote: »Yep. I sit here at 39.6 pounds lost since may. In the beginning I was one of those people who felt guilt about a night out or anger when my calorie went negative red.
But I eventually got over it and have consistently lost, despite going over once a week or so.
Tonight I took my 9 year old son on a date. We had whopper jrs and fries and hot fudge sundaes from sonic. That's what he wanted and even though I ended up eating every single one of my exercise calories back today, I don't care. We had fun. And he has a new memory. That's so much more than a day of being under and perfect.
I totally agree with this! We are taking my 7yo on her first trip to Disneyworld ... I will probably eat and drink my weight that week but I don't care... it's a week... I have many others to worry about the time with her seeing it through her eyes will be way better than worrying about my intake lol 0 -
It can be quiet annoying sometimes, but even I fall into that trap of whining and complaining. I think what's missing is just education and proper research. Usually, if I go out to a buffet, I eat like a pig, even if I am trying to watch my weight.0
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guess you guys didn't see what happened to Barney on The Simpson's after he had a beer after being on the wagon...0
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130 days of logging and lost 70 pounds And i had pizza and champagne and cheesecake in those days. I had some off days of not feeling good and ate a week around the 1000 calories. ( because of a cold)
I had days of no exercise and days i tried a bite of a certain food that was not logged.
Just daily life...and it works as long your are honest dont give up and go back to portion control and moderation.0 -
A lot of people seems to confuse educating yourself or asking for information to help make informed decisions with panicking or worrying.
I have asked about meals, I know it's not going to undo all my work so far, if I have one large dinner. But what is the harm in asking questions? What is the harm in gathering information so you can weigh up the foods you enjoy to eat?
It seems that if you ask for information people just reply with, just enjoy your self.
If you have two meals, both will fill you up equally, both you will enjoy equally but one might be full of fats salt and sugars and be the equivalent of eating 2 pizzas, while a 2nd meal has half the fat and salt and won't impact you weight loss as much, what is the harm in asking for advice?
Sure there are people who do panic etc, complaining how they ruined everything by eating 100 cal to much. But not everyone asking about or being concerned about a single meal is being a worry wart and needs to calm down.
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Thank you, just what I needed.0
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Thank you.0
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Everyone seems to be sharing weight lose and examples of how they weren't perfect
Lost 30-40kg (around 65 pounds isn't it) while eating pizza kfc oporto subway Chinese sushi etc etc etc0 -
I'm also not perfect. I did 5 minutes of cardio today, while eating candy. I logged the candy though.0
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yes.... do you want to avoid the rest of your life every kinda junk food? Not going out when you cant count calories?
You dont get overweight by doing these things
You get overweight by doing those things TOO MUCH!
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Don't forget what you're trying to achieve. Health and Fitness is about breathing easier, feeling more flexible, being more alert, sleeping better, having better concentration, and getting less illnesses. Don't forget to record how you feel in your diary as a person rather that a statistic. Yes weightloss is extremely important. But it's not the only factor.0
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A lot of people seems to confuse educating yourself or asking for information to help make informed decisions with panicking or worrying.
I have asked about meals, I know it's not going to undo all my work so far, if I have one large dinner. But what is the harm in asking questions? What is the harm in gathering information so you can weigh up the foods you enjoy to eat?
It seems that if you ask for information people just reply with, just enjoy your self.
If you have two meals, both will fill you up equally, both you will enjoy equally but one might be full of fats salt and sugars and be the equivalent of eating 2 pizzas, while a 2nd meal has half the fat and salt and won't impact you weight loss as much, what is the harm in asking for advice?
Sure there are people who do panic etc, complaining how they ruined everything by eating 100 cal to much. But not everyone asking about or being concerned about a single meal is being a worry wart and needs to calm down.
If both are the same amount of calories, it doesn't really matter that one has more salt or sugar or fat for weight loss. Eating less sugar, or salt, or fat won't make you lose weight quicker. Caveat being you stay within your macro and calorie goals and you don't have a medical condition.
That's kinda the point.0 -
arditarose wrote: »I'm also not perfect. I did 5 minutes of cardio today, while eating candy. I logged the candy though.
Candy
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FashionQueen86 wrote: »arditarose wrote: »I'm also not perfect. I did 5 minutes of cardio today, while eating candy. I logged the candy though.
Candy
Just hard candies. Not like a whole chocolate bar or anything ha.0 -
Great reminder! Weight loss is never linear. It's good to loosen up sometimes. I cheat once a week to keep my sanity.0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »A lot of people seems to confuse educating yourself or asking for information to help make informed decisions with panicking or worrying.
I have asked about meals, I know it's not going to undo all my work so far, if I have one large dinner. But what is the harm in asking questions? What is the harm in gathering information so you can weigh up the foods you enjoy to eat?
It seems that if you ask for information people just reply with, just enjoy your self.
If you have two meals, both will fill you up equally, both you will enjoy equally but one might be full of fats salt and sugars and be the equivalent of eating 2 pizzas, while a 2nd meal has half the fat and salt and won't impact you weight loss as much, what is the harm in asking for advice?
Sure there are people who do panic etc, complaining how they ruined everything by eating 100 cal to much. But not everyone asking about or being concerned about a single meal is being a worry wart and needs to calm down.
If both are the same amount of calories, it doesn't really matter that one has more salt or sugar or fat for weight loss. Eating less sugar, or salt, or fat won't make you lose weight quicker. Caveat being you stay within your macro and calorie goals and you don't have a medical condition.
That's kinda the point.
Just a guess here but some people aren't just doing this to lose weight but to also eat healthier. More nutritional foods.
And won't impact your weight loss as much... That wasn't saying less salt etc increases weight loss, I said that as in it has less energy. So not the same calories.
What I was trying to get at was, say your going out to chinese and basically any meal you will enjoy, asking for advise about better meals isn't the same as being overly worried or panicking.
For example the two meals above, one might be some sort of deep fried meat dish with fried rice full of fats, salts and being 2000 cal and the 2nd meal is some seafood dish with lots of veggies and boiled rice with less salt, fat and only 1000 cal for example.
What is the harm in asking about these? Asking for suggestions? Most Chinese places I have been have no nutritional details.
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Love your post!!! I think this is the single biggest reason I'm successful this time, as opposed to other times. I've learned so much, and really love myself (sounds cheesy I know) but it makes all the difference. I :
Focus on weekly calories, not daily, which allows for ups and downs
I focus on doing as much exercise as my body can take, but not more (I have a chronic illness and can't exercise for weeks at a time)
I am ok with cooking terrible meals- I used to hate cooking because I needed them to be perfect. Now,if my food sucks,o I just don't make that recipe again. I'm having so much more fun in the kitchen as the result, and have cooked 99% of my family's meals since January.
Loving yourself and your imperfections is the easiest way to make sure you don't lose your motivation. Most of us are meaner to ourselves than we would eve let anyone else be...0 -
Nice loss!0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »A lot of people seems to confuse educating yourself or asking for information to help make informed decisions with panicking or worrying.
I have asked about meals, I know it's not going to undo all my work so far, if I have one large dinner. But what is the harm in asking questions? What is the harm in gathering information so you can weigh up the foods you enjoy to eat?
It seems that if you ask for information people just reply with, just enjoy your self.
If you have two meals, both will fill you up equally, both you will enjoy equally but one might be full of fats salt and sugars and be the equivalent of eating 2 pizzas, while a 2nd meal has half the fat and salt and won't impact you weight loss as much, what is the harm in asking for advice?
Sure there are people who do panic etc, complaining how they ruined everything by eating 100 cal to much. But not everyone asking about or being concerned about a single meal is being a worry wart and needs to calm down.
If both are the same amount of calories, it doesn't really matter that one has more salt or sugar or fat for weight loss. Eating less sugar, or salt, or fat won't make you lose weight quicker. Caveat being you stay within your macro and calorie goals and you don't have a medical condition.
That's kinda the point.
Just a guess here but some people aren't just doing this to lose weight but to also eat healthier. More nutritional foods.
And won't impact your weight loss as much... That wasn't saying less salt etc increases weight loss, I said that as in it has less energy. So not the same calories.
What I was trying to get at was, say your going out to chinese and basically any meal you will enjoy, asking for advise about better meals isn't the same as being overly worried or panicking.
For example the two meals above, one might be some sort of deep fried meat dish with fried rice full of fats, salts and being 2000 cal and the 2nd meal is some seafood dish with lots of veggies and boiled rice with less salt, fat and only 1000 cal for example.
What is the harm in asking about these? Asking for suggestions? Most Chinese places I have been have no nutritional details.
A few things.
You said weight loss - not me. And I responded to the weight loss point. I'll quote you:If you have two meals, both will fill you up equally, both you will enjoy equally but one might be full of fats salt and sugars and be the equivalent of eating 2 pizzas, while a 2nd meal has half the fat and salt and won't impact you weight loss as much, what is the harm in asking for advice?
You yourself said nothing about health. Not everyone here cares about health. I do, so I make meeting my macros a priority. But everyone here has different priorities.
You never said anything about calories, nor that one had more energy (?) than the other. You mentioned salt, sugar and fat only. So that's what I commented on. Because I can only actually comment on things you post, not things you thought, but didn't share.
I don't have a problem with people asking for help. In fact most of my posts on here are in an attempt to help people. The OP seems to be talking about people that freak out over a meal or a bad day or whatever. If you don't do that, then it doesn't apply to you, right?0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »A lot of people seems to confuse educating yourself or asking for information to help make informed decisions with panicking or worrying.
I have asked about meals, I know it's not going to undo all my work so far, if I have one large dinner. But what is the harm in asking questions? What is the harm in gathering information so you can weigh up the foods you enjoy to eat?
It seems that if you ask for information people just reply with, just enjoy your self.
If you have two meals, both will fill you up equally, both you will enjoy equally but one might be full of fats salt and sugars and be the equivalent of eating 2 pizzas, while a 2nd meal has half the fat and salt and won't impact you weight loss as much, what is the harm in asking for advice?
Sure there are people who do panic etc, complaining how they ruined everything by eating 100 cal to much. But not everyone asking about or being concerned about a single meal is being a worry wart and needs to calm down.
If both are the same amount of calories, it doesn't really matter that one has more salt or sugar or fat for weight loss. Eating less sugar, or salt, or fat won't make you lose weight quicker. Caveat being you stay within your macro and calorie goals and you don't have a medical condition.
That's kinda the point.
Just a guess here but some people aren't just doing this to lose weight but to also eat healthier. More nutritional foods.
And won't impact your weight loss as much... That wasn't saying less salt etc increases weight loss, I said that as in it has less energy. So not the same calories.
What I was trying to get at was, say your going out to chinese and basically any meal you will enjoy, asking for advise about better meals isn't the same as being overly worried or panicking.
For example the two meals above, one might be some sort of deep fried meat dish with fried rice full of fats, salts and being 2000 cal and the 2nd meal is some seafood dish with lots of veggies and boiled rice with less salt, fat and only 1000 cal for example.
What is the harm in asking about these? Asking for suggestions? Most Chinese places I have been have no nutritional details.
A few things.
You said weight loss - not me. And I responded to the weight loss point. I'll quote you:If you have two meals, both will fill you up equally, both you will enjoy equally but one might be full of fats salt and sugars and be the equivalent of eating 2 pizzas, while a 2nd meal has half the fat and salt and won't impact you weight loss as much, what is the harm in asking for advice?
You yourself said nothing about health. Not everyone here cares about health. I do, so I make meeting my macros a priority. But everyone here has different priorities.
You never said anything about calories, nor that one had more energy (?) than the other. You mentioned salt, sugar and fat only. So that's what I commented on. Because I can only actually comment on things you post, not things you thought, but didn't share.
I don't have a problem with people asking for help. In fact most of my posts on here are in an attempt to help people. The OP seems to be talking about people that freak out over a meal or a bad day or whatever. If you don't do that, then it doesn't apply to you, right?
What will impact your weight loss? A meal having more or less calories right? So if I say one meal won't impact your weight loss as much doesn't that imply that it has less calories?
Anyway, the OP seems to be suggesting that anyone who asks about what to eat at a restaurant is unnecessarily worrying or panicking, all I'm trying to say is getting advice/information to make to make a better decision isn't panic, it's just gathering information.
Not trying to get into arguments here, especially not about whether or not I said one meal had more or less calories.
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Even though I knew this stuff well before MFP and have been browsing the forums these past 20 odd days AND despite the steady losses over that time and the fact I have been eating more than well enough to feel satiated I still fell into this mind set this past week. I over did it on some pizza, allotted for 3 slices then threw down the remaining two pieces just because. THAT was not the problem though. I knew we were going to Old Chicago for a birthday over the weekend and happily planned to eat a bit lean for the following few days in anticipation for a menu that will easily run 2500 calories for a meal. Well before that much anticipated day I slipped up and way over indulged on some free Mexican food. Immediately after I fretted and obsessed with the numbers, I was upset with my self and felt the kind of frustration that causes many people to pack it in and quit. I know I have done just that many times before. Well I pulled my self up and remembered that I'm a grown *kitten* man accountable to no one but my self and resolved to simply carry on. As of this morning I was down 1.2 pounds over my last weigh in several days ago. 12.1 pounds in 20 or so days while enjoying BBQ pizza beer a snickers icecream bar fast food and a stupid large amount of cheesy carby salty Mexican food. Stick with it and you will get there, we are always our own worst enemy.0
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Love your post!!! I think this is the single biggest reason I'm successful this time, as opposed to other times. I've learned so much, and really love myself (sounds cheesy I know) but it makes all the difference. I :
Focus on weekly calories, not daily, which allows for ups and downs
I focus on doing as much exercise as my body can take, but not more (I have a chronic illness and can't exercise for weeks at a time)
I am ok with cooking terrible meals- I used to hate cooking because I needed them to be perfect. Now,if my food sucks,o I just don't make that recipe again. I'm having so much more fun in the kitchen as the result, and have cooked 99% of my family's meals since January.
Loving yourself and your imperfections is the easiest way to make sure you don't lose your motivation. Most of us are meaner to ourselves than we would eve let anyone else be...
Cooking has been one of my favorite parts of this, I have always liked cooking and grilling but felt that it was at odds with being in better shape. Tonight is fried cabbage ( much better than it might sound) and a few ounces of cube steak in half a toasted chibata bun with grilled onions and a bit of gravy (for my wife) and bow sauce for me.0 -
I think eating food I like every day and living a reasonably normal life while losing weight is being perfect.
I try to be close to my calorie goal but reality is some days I am going to go over a bit. I have a maximum number I feel comfortable going over my goal and I think that is helpful.0
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