Starting a family... how long did it take?

TJ_Rugger
TJ_Rugger Posts: 166 Member
edited November 13 in Motivation and Support
I’m just curious from all of the parents out there. When you were trying to start a family, how long did it take? I know some couples roll out babies like Ford rolls out cars, but I also know that other couples sometimes have to keep trying month after month.

We’ve been at it for a number of months now… not complaining about all of the sex, just kind of getting curious if something might be wrong.
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Replies

  • creasys_bean2011
    creasys_bean2011 Posts: 41 Member
    I think they day anything over a year you should talk to a dr.
    There is like 2 PERFECT days to make a baby a month. So, I wouldn't be too worried.
    Also, you can buy Like ovulation test and stuff to find out the best days.
  • creasys_bean2011
    creasys_bean2011 Posts: 41 Member
    They say*****
  • mkdm291
    mkdm291 Posts: 139 Member
    Naturally, a lot depends on age, health, etc. I have two kids and it took about 6 months to get pregnant for each. I had them at 31 and 34. From what I understand, it is recommended to try for about a year before a doctor would consider any type of intervention (but I could be wrong about that!)
    Best of luck!
  • kazaargrandcru
    kazaargrandcru Posts: 152 Member
    Out of my group of family & friends it always seemed like the ones who were "trying" took the longest though it did happen eventually, and the ones that weren't trying (me included) it was just whoop there it is.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    TJ_Rugger wrote: »
    I’m just curious from all of the parents out there. When you were trying to start a family, how long did it take? I know some couples roll out babies like Ford rolls out cars, but I also know that other couples sometimes have to keep trying month after month.

    We’ve been at it for a number of months now… not complaining about all of the sex, just kind of getting curious if something might be wrong.

    For our first boy, it took forever...I want to say it took a good 9 months or so before my wife got pregnant. Honestly, I think we were stressing ourselves out and that was hindering us...she was monitoring ovulation and whatnot and there was just tons of pressure. We got to the point where we sort of resigned ourselves to the fact that it just might not happen and that maybe we should go see a doctor. Basically, we stopped "trying", came back from a vacation and she was pregnant.

    Boy number two was one shot, one kill...literally...one good screw and she was pregnant.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    We used the "carpet bombing" approach. My wife started taking her temperature to chart her ovulation and on the right week we were busy. So we got ours pretty easily. :)
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,275 Member
    Relax. And have your wife spend time with some babies and nursing Mothers...for some reason, I held a new baby, and magically get hormones in overdrive.

    If your wife was on Depo or the pill, for some people that can take awhile to get out of the system.

    If a year sees no results, see a doctor. Age can be a factor, along with irregular periods.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator

    For our first boy, it took forever...I want to say it took a good 9 months or so before my wife got pregnant. Honestly, I think we were stressing ourselves out and that was hindering us...she was monitoring ovulation and whatnot and there was just tons of pressure. We got to the point where we sort of resigned ourselves to the fact that it just might not happen and that maybe we should go see a doctor. Basically, we stopped "trying", came back from a vacation and she was pregnant.

    This is actually very common, I think alot of wemen stress themselves out about getting pregnant that they basically derail the whole process because the body does not want to add more stress (a pregnancy) onto and already stressful situation.

    As already mentioned typically after a year is when Dr.s advise you figure out whats up.

  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    It only took us two months - but I was tracking my cycle very carefully. I think we were lucky though - I know it can be really hard for some couples.

    Good luck!
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    If I look at Mrs Jruzer a little too amorously she conceives.
  • BL3SS3DFITN3SS
    BL3SS3DFITN3SS Posts: 40 Member
    For us it always happened the first month/first try. But I know friends in perfect health that it took them about 6 months.

    We have 3 little ones :smile:
  • TJ_Rugger
    TJ_Rugger Posts: 166 Member
    edited March 2015
    Thank you all for your posts and experiences. She does monitor her cycle and it has been about 8-9 months since we have been trying. I would say that she had been on the pill since college (we’re 31 & 30 right now) and about 9-10 months ago she stopped the pill and we were using condoms for about 2 months to let the pill get out of her system.

    But she has also been wondering if her stress is also making it more difficult… Each month she keeps apologizing and I keep telling her that she has no reason to apologize and “Hell sweetie… maybe it’s me. It's ok, now just 'more sex yeah!'” I do think though the stress might be part of it.

    But thanks again for all of your honest answers!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Entirely tooo easily. Sigh
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    The average is 6 months. It took us almost 6 years.

    We went to see a specialist after 6 months, and, after a bunch of tests, found out that my husband's sperm quality is really bad, and we had a 1% chance of conceiving naturally. So we spent all our savings on fertility treatments... didn't work (long story... we basically wasted another year doing that). We ended up borrowing from family and adopted twins, which took another 3 years.

    So no, sometimes 'just relax' isn't going to cut it.
  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
    many couples have issues but there is no point in stressing till a year has passed. dr.'s will not even begin tests till that point. it look me 6 months , and at that point we said meh were ok with not having more children. i think when we finally took it easy it happened.
  • AbsoluteTara79
    AbsoluteTara79 Posts: 266 Member
    You (she) might consider reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm not sure how closely she's monitoring cycles, but not every woman is on a perfect 28-day cycle. And given that the window of opportunity is so narrow, you could time it wrong pretty easily. This books explains the cycle is great detail and helps you understand what other cues to look for beyond the calendar. Good luck!
  • AshC1023
    AshC1023 Posts: 109
    Well, I started out as a baby factory (I have 4) but we're trying for #5 and it's been 6 months. I stopped birth control back in September, but things aren't "normal" for me yet, so I'm not stressing over it yet. Before birth control (ortho evra patches) I had a normal cycle, but now I go months without ovulating. If she's been on BC for a long time, it can take longer for things to go back to what they would have been without it.
    My husband is 45 also, and there is some decline in fertility for men around that age, so if it doesn't happen once my cycle normals out, then we'll start considering testing.
  • lavenderphoenix
    lavenderphoenix Posts: 48 Member
    We've been trying for 4 years with no medical reason for our difficulties and are about to begin fertility treatments again after a successful IUI & miscarriage a year ago. If you want something easy to try read up on myo-inositol (brand names pregnitude & ovasitol). I've been taking it for about 2 months after a recommendation from the nutritionist at my OBGYN's office and the research looks promising.
  • jmgj27
    jmgj27 Posts: 531 Member
    It took us a month and then it was twins :# But friends of mine have taken anywhere between a month and 9 months. If you haven't already then try ovulation sticks and make sure you get at it every other day. It turned out that I ovulated something like ten days earlier than I thought so we just got lucky! Good luck and keep at it!
  • justcat206
    justcat206 Posts: 716 Member
    Our first took about 8 months after I went off the pill. In fact, I think it was 8 months with all my kids, but we had them all in a row. I recall my sister (who had her kids much later than I) say that the older she got the longer it took. Best wishes!
  • benjaminhk
    benjaminhk Posts: 353 Member
    I think it took us about 8 months for our first kid. It didn't take as long with the second. We were getting pretty frustrated at first but we were really happy when the pregnancy tests finally flipped to positive.
  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    You have a 15% of conceiving each cycle, so it's not a foregone conclusion. Definitely give it a year!
  • Pathira1305
    Pathira1305 Posts: 1 Member
    For us took week..our honeymoon week,so quick and so miracle because after I born my daughter we find out I have very strong PCOS. I think for everything is time...just be patient,relax and enjoy time without kids,they are the biggest joy,but sometimes will be a day you will miss longer sleeping :)
  • auzziecawth66
    auzziecawth66 Posts: 476 Member
    Took a year for our first after went off the depo shot. For our second a month and our third was an unexpected surprise while on the pill. I think we are one of those couples that rolls them out like fords lol.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Shoot I had one while I had a copper IUD. Sigh.
  • lauries8888
    lauries8888 Posts: 70 Member
    We tried for 4 years on our own. Finally went to a fertility doctor and found that we both had problems, which could be corrected. We finally had a beautiful daughter. Six months later, we decided to start trying again, since it took us 5 years the first time. Two weeks later, I got pregnant...with twins. So we ended up with 3 babies within 15 months. It was rough at first, but very worth it. But I would advise anyone who has been trying for more than a year to see a doctor because for us, we probably wouldn't have had kids without medical help.
  • Dulcefresh
    Dulcefresh Posts: 55 Member
    for me and my husband we have been trying for five years and no such luck yet. Ovulation tests and and monitoring closely helps. I got pg last year (ended in miscarriage) from a cycle after getting my tubes checked out and closely monitoring my cycle. sometimes just relaxing and not stressing doesnt work. I hope and pray that your time will come soon.
  • SarahKhristan
    SarahKhristan Posts: 134 Member
    It took my husband and I about 6 months to get pregnant. We're lucky, as I know some people who have taken years (and I envy my friends who can get pregnant simply looking at one another).

    It's hard to hear "relax and enjoy the process" when you want to start a family. There's something incredibly sad about having a late cycle and hoping...only to be disappointed and depressed when you're not pregnant.

    Wishing you both luck and fun!
  • MaternalCopulator
    MaternalCopulator Posts: 125 Member
    It took me a few hours of tequila, and about 9 months after that I had a family...
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    edited March 2015
    Ex-wife got pregnant second month after going off the pill, so first ovulation that could be tracked. My current partner, first time "precautions" were not taken around the right time of the month.
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