Relationships with Food - Healthy vs. Unhealthy

I feel the actual mechanism of the intake of the food can be different for each person and still be considered "normal" (or conversely, cause for concern). It's not the eating habits themselves; it's how the person feels about food and/or his/her body.

If the person is feeling distress, anxiety, depression, etc. and it's unwarranted (i.e. if I eat a ton of sh*tfood tonight and have anxiety that I'll gain tomorrow, well, that only makes sense - because that's the inevitable outcome of eating a ton of sh*tfood in excess of my TDEE over time; v. if I'm not gaining weight and am feeling well but have an anxiety that I'm going to gain weight despite evidence to the contrary), then I personally would consider it unhealthy.

This overlaps with body image. If I feel anxiety about being "too fat" because I'm 5'1" and weigh 195 lbs., well, that anxiety is quite normal, because it's logical and supported and I SHOULD be doing something about it. If I'm not, then I'm going to feel anxious, a totally normal reaction. OTOH, if I'm 5'1" and weigh 79 lbs. and feel anxious about being "too fat," well then obviously that anxiety isn't supported by any logic or biology possible, and is therefore an unhealthy relationship with myself, my body image and with what I put into my body (the food).

I would think obsessions fall into the unhealthy category as well. For example, anyone might look forward to dinnertime. Pretty normal; we all need to eat, and we're supposed to like to eat - that's biological. Some of us might go a bit nutty on the subject of dinner and have a lot of fun planning it more in advance than others, but I still (personally) wouldn't think that's unhealthy; though we all have the drive to eat, obviously, some of us have it moreso than others. But a third person might lie in bed the night before obsessively counting every calorie, unable to make a decision as to what to "spend" those calories on for the next day's dinner and grieve for missing out on whatever they didn't decide upon rather than simply saying "Oh, but I can have that one tomorrow." That I would feel is probably an unhealthy relationship with food.

I am not a professional, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that even "professionals" won't necessarily agree on one exact definition.

And by the way, it was loosely postulated on the thread you're referencing that most of us must have an unhealthy food by our various definitions, or we wouldn't be here.

Again, it's a matter of degree, IMO - and of whether or not we are having unwarranted anxieties we can't allay despite logic and despite the evidence of our own eyes and our own bodies.

But yes, many of us probably do have an unhealthy relationship with food. Why not? From the time we're born, our food decisions are made for us and food does become an emotional thing and to an extent, possibly a control thing. Again, it's a matter of degree. If it's mild, no, a shrink probably isn't necessary; logic, research and discussion may be able to allay it. If it's severe, and particularly if it drifts over into ED territory, then it's shrink time (again, IMO).

This is really a personal decision. I have had an ED in the past. Today, I can log without having issues. When I find myself getting overly anxious about the number, I stop logging for a while. I don't let anxiety over food prevent me from eating out with friends. I also don't wig out over holidays. I focus on fitness and I focus on macros (did I get enough protein?). To me, this is a healthy approach. To someone else, I could be considered a slacker because I log maybe 5 days out of the week.

The most important question is not what other people think - it's about what I think. Do I feel good? Am I anxious about food? Am I anxious in other areas of my life and using food (or lack thereof) as a coping mechanism? Is my relationship with food preventing me from living the life I want to live - (meaning, do I have enough to fuel my workouts? Is my social life healthy? Is my gastrointestinal system operating as it should?).

For the record, the poster in that thread openly admitted to having an unhealthy relationship with food.

What worries me is people who start to view food as the enemy, or claim to hate all food. Food is tasty and gives us the energy to live.

If we obsess about what foods weigh to the last gram and count calories all day long, is this healthy (or normal)?

I must count calories daily for some time to come as part of the program I am on. To make sure I eat enough of the right things means I think about food quite a bit. Diabetics have to think about food all the time too, managing a function that non-diabetics have taken care of by their own metabolisms. My (doctor) sister would say that the behavior drifts in to damaging if this activity starts to significantly interfere with my life. Normal is a spectrum.

JSurita2 wrote: »

Interesting thoughts. It looks like anxiety might be the defining factor on whether its healthy or not-healthy. Even if I obsess a little over counting calories or tracking, I don't experience anxiety over it. If it takes too much effort and time then I don't do it. Maybe that's why I'm not losing as quickly as I want to. Who knows.

Eating disorders are control disorders. People with OCD and other anxiety issues are more likely to struggle with the disorder, so that's why there is a correlation. Not everyone who logs every day has an unhealthy relationship with food. It's only a problem when logging brings out an underlying disorder that a person already struggles with naturally.

JSurita2 wrote: »

Reading another thread on here got me to think about this. I’m curious what is a healthy food relationship? What is an unhealthy one? If we obsess about what foods weigh to the last gram and count calories all day long, is this healthy (or normal)? To who? Should we seek professional help if we continue to do this as a lifestyle? Some people might think it’s overly obsessive to weigh and count every single morsel we eat. While others might feel its crazy not to (especially if you’re trying to lose weight).

Thoughts?

Counting calories CAN be unhealthy and can exacerbate *kitten* relationships with food.

When I first lost my weight, things started out just fine but quickly spun out of control as I started to obsess about every little detail...if I couldn't weigh something out to the exact gram, I would get overly anxious...that is not a healthy relationship with food. When the app would go down or I otherwise didn't have access to my diary, I would become very anxious...that is not a healthy relationship. When I would go over my calorie goals a bit I would freak out and become anxious even though I was still in a pretty substantial deficit...that is not a healthy relationship.

Ultimately I quit logging and keeping a diary because it had gone from simply being a tool to being an obsession. It's when I quit logging that I really honed in on actual nutrition and working out for my fitness. I also sought out treatment for my anxiety which has helped immensely. I spent 1.5 years simply maintaining without tracking anything...just eating healthfully...focusing on my nutrition and fitness.

My relationship with food has grown by leaps and bounds over that time. Not only can I enjoy things like my old foodie self used to...but food is no longer the enemy...it's nutrients for my body...it's fuel for my workouts...it's not something to be scared of and run away from.

I'm currently in a cut so logging again...so far so good as none of my previous obsessions have surfaced. It'll be a pretty quick cut too so hopefully I will remain in a healthy state of mind...it took me about 6 months last time before I really started developing unhealthy obsessions with all of this. Once I'm finished with my cut I will go back to maintenance and not keeping a diary and being "normal".

jgnatca wrote: »

What worries me is people who start to view food as the enemy, or claim to hate all food. Food is tasty and gives us the energy to live.

If we obsess about what foods weigh to the last gram and count calories all day long, is this healthy (or normal)?

I must count calories daily for some time to come as part of the program I am on. To make sure I eat enough of the right things means I think about food quite a bit. Diabetics have to think about food all the time too, managing a function that non-diabetics have taken care of by their own metabolisms. My (doctor) sister would say that the behavior drifts in to damaging if this activity starts to significantly interfere with my life. Normal is a spectrum.

right. so, it might take a lot of time initially for people to plan their meals and shop and whatnot, that's a kind of interference, and they might feel anxious about food choices because of lack of certainty. but that often goes away once they know what they're doing.

i just think that for some people, calorie counting is just going to involve a bit of weirdness at the beginning.

One of the problems with the assertion in that other thread is the implication that because someone can lose weight means they are necessarily unhealthy. Counting calories and weighing food can be and easy way of keeping yourself accountable, in the same way that a pedometer can remind you to stay active. For me seeing what I eat helps me to realize certain things about my diet and habits. I find that I have a slightly better relationship with food when I am logging as a have a natural tendency to undereat during the day and then snack while studying/working at night. Calorie counting is just a tool.