"When are you due?" Seriously??

Lacey0903
Lacey0903 Posts: 40 Member
edited November 13 in Motivation and Support
I'm 5'6" 200 lbs, (so close to onderland!) & I've lost 18 in 66 days... & someone, a women, asked when I was due. I won't ask a women that unless they have told me they are expecting. I don't care how big or small they are. & I was feeling so good!!
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Replies

  • mariamathsgeek
    mariamathsgeek Posts: 236 Member
    That happened to me last summer....I'm 5'5" and was probably about 180lbs at the time. It was a cashier in a clothing shop....and there were several people in the queue behind me. I took a beat and said 'I'm not pregnant, just fat, thanks.'.....and she started to backtrack, blaming my dress, etc.....she ended up feeling flustered and I doubt she'll make that mistake again!!!!
  • TheSatinPumpkin
    TheSatinPumpkin Posts: 948 Member
    got ask that at a check out line and im male "groans"
  • AlisonH729
    AlisonH729 Posts: 558 Member
    While at a friends Bachelorette party I was asked if I was pregnant. I was probably only ~120 lbs at the time too! But (sorry, TMI) I had a urinary tract infection & was only drinking water and was pretty bloated that weekend. So, okay... but you still don't ask someone that question no matter how drunk you are. She did say that I would have been the cutest little pregnant girl she's ever seen though. So um, thanks, I think.
  • suruda
    suruda Posts: 1,233 Member
    It's amazing to me that people still do that! That happened to me years ago...wish I would have been brave enough to respond like maria!
  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
    I was asked that twice within two weeks last summer. Was a bummer because I had lost 30 lbs at that point. If nothing else it pi$$ed me off and made me join the gym so something good came out of it
  • literique
    literique Posts: 85 Member
    edited March 2015
    Kuddos on the 18lb loss!! You're almost in the hundreds!
  • SDB210
    SDB210 Posts: 100 Member
    That happened to me, someone said when are you having yours? I assumed he meant when am I planning on having kids, so I said, I've had mine, so he said, oh is that just what's left over then? ...... I was gobsmacked and said I hope not he's 8!
    ... He was mortified with himself, his wife walloped him round the back of the head and... I threw away my blouse! Haha I wasn't even overweight then either! Honestly you only have to stand or lean the wrong way and that's it, I now try to always stand up straight!!!
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    edited March 2015
    I did that. ONCE

    I was so sure I could tell the difference between a baby and overweight.
    The next time I was sure, I stayed quiet. As it turned out, she wasn't pregnant either :ohwell:

    It happens, don't take it personally.

    Congrats on your 18lb loss :flowerforyou:
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    edited March 2015
    Lacey0903 wrote: »
    I'm 5'6" 200 lbs, (so close to onderland!) & I've lost 18 in 66 days... & someone, a women, asked when I was due. I won't ask a women that unless they have told me they are expecting. I don't care how big or small they are. & I was feeling so good!!

    People who ask that are just not using their brain. You just don't casually ask anyone if they are pregnant.
    I've been asked while the person patted my bulging stomach. It was hugely embarrassing and the person was horrified when I said no. At least I didn't have fertility issues and had the struggle of trying to conceive.
    I didn't think I looked super pregnant at the time and it hurt. Now I can admit that my body really is shaped like I'm pregnant when I am overweight. I can see how someone might assume I am pregnant. (They still shouldn't say it or pat my stomach ever!) It doesn't mean I should be more embarrassed because I gain most of my weight in my torso vs evenly over my body or the lower body. It is just the way it is for some of us to carry more weight in that area. I've lost 17 pounds and it will be awhile before I lose the pregnant look.

    You are doing great! You should feel good.
  • Lacey0903
    Lacey0903 Posts: 40 Member
    I just responded with "I'm not, but I've had two". She was mortified. The worse part is that there is an obviously pregnant girl at my office so they have someone to compare too! Laugh it off & run it out tonight. :smile:
  • DKG28
    DKG28 Posts: 299 Member
    the worst is with the belly pat. I've become careful about how I stand - if I don't stand up straight i've got pregnant belly look, probably b/c belly sticks out past boobs. standing up straight and finding clothes that give a shape to my waist help greatly.
  • jerogers4s
    jerogers4s Posts: 14 Member
    I was 14 and a size 8 the first time I was asked that. So embarrassing. I've always carried my weight in my belly. One of my clients asks me regularly if I have a baby in my belly. He's 6 though, so I let it slide. I'm pretty certain it will take me a long time to lose the belly. My mom says even when I was little, I was tiny with a protruding belly. I didn't gain much on my thighs and backside until I got pregnant.
  • daliluin
    daliluin Posts: 1
    Something similar to this happened to me awhile ago (when I wasn't as overweight as I am now). I was meeting one of my friend's friends. The other girl asked my friend if I was the pregnant one she had been talking about....>.< NOPE!
  • awesomewastaken
    awesomewastaken Posts: 92 Member
    I quit alcohol for a month in January and obviously when a woman is suddenly not drinking, she must be pregnant. Especially when she has a tummy like I do. So I would get a lot of questioning looks but I always averted the awful question by just saying "nope, not pregnant, just fat". That shut them up real good.
  • khaleesikhaleesi
    khaleesikhaleesi Posts: 213 Member
    "Right about the time you quit assuming... You know what they say!"
  • kiwiOT
    kiwiOT Posts: 27 Member
    Im so relieved to be honest that Im not the only one who gets these stupid comments! I worked as a temp last year at a law firm and one of the female lawyers there came over to me said hi, patted my stomach and said "Oooh when are you due?" I replied "Err no Im not pregnant, I just like cake." She practically ran away from me and avoided me for the rest of the time that I was there lol. Damn it these people need to learn some tact and hold true to the adage of unless someone tells you they're pregnant keep your mouth shut!
  • CoachJen71
    CoachJen71 Posts: 1,200 Member
    I carry my extra weight just like I carried my pregnancy weight, with a belly out to there. If I wasn't so grey-haired now, I am sure I would be fielding that question too. *hugs* Don't let it get to you. Just keep doing all the right things you have done to help you lose weight up to this point, and eventually no one will ever feel the need to ask that again.
  • tchell99
    tchell99 Posts: 434 Member
    More than once I was standing on a crowded Metro train and asked by someone seated in the handicapped/special needs seats if I wanted to sit (as they eyeballed my belly). Usually a "no, thanks" would suffice, but one guy was really insistent to the point where I said "I know you're trying to be kind, but I am not pregnant."
  • GrayBon
    GrayBon Posts: 15 Member
    Lacey0903 wrote: »
    I'm 5'6" 200 lbs, (so close to onderland!) & I've lost 18 in 66 days... & someone, a women, asked when I was due. I won't ask a women that unless they have told me they are expecting. I don't care how big or small they are. & I was feeling so good!!

    Good for u I'm so proud of u !! Same thing happened to me last week I am down 20 lbs and felling great. Not only does no one seem to notice,a friend who is a woman, ask if I was expecting again :s. So frusting.
  • Panda_Poptarts
    Panda_Poptarts Posts: 971 Member
    I was asked that once. My response was "about three years ago" (youngest nearing his 3rd birthday at the time).

    Definitely not a good question to ask, people!!! Hang in there OP. You're doing great!!
  • DirrtyH
    DirrtyH Posts: 664 Member
    I totally had someone ask if I was pregnant, and I said, "No, just fat, I guess." Then she just blinked at me and said, "Really? Are you sure?"
    Yeah, I'm sure. "Did you just have a baby?"
    NO, LADY. Stop. Stop now.
  • DeAnna_DMBFan
    DeAnna_DMBFan Posts: 14 Member
    I did that. ONCE

    I was so sure I could tell the difference between a baby and overweight.
    The next time I was sure, I stayed quiet. As it turned out, she wasn't pregnant either :ohwell:

    It happens, don't take it personally.

    Congrats on your 18lb loss :flowerforyou:

    I did that too, but she had on a maternity suit jacket, complete with the tie in the BACK and she kept shifting her purse from one side to the other just like pregnant people do because they're backs are killing them.

    I would have felt bad, but she was a TOTAL B****, she earned it five times over.
  • mskinner1091
    mskinner1091 Posts: 180 Member
    Happened to me too. Went to a restaurant with my sister & the hostess as she was taking us to the table asked me if I was pregnant. I just simply said no. She couldn't say anything & just sat us down & left. Needless to say.. I didn't eat my lunch :neutral_face:
  • lexlowe
    lexlowe Posts: 908 Member
    I made the mistake of asking a girl that when I was a naive 20-year old, and she immediately,vigorously, and vehemently schooled me in the inappropriateness of my inquiry.
  • Allterrain_Lady
    Allterrain_Lady Posts: 421 Member
    I can't believe people still do that! Come on!! IMO, this kind of stupidity says a hell of a lot more about them than about how you actually look.
  • SteampunkSongbird
    SteampunkSongbird Posts: 826 Member
    Well done on an awesome loss so far! You have every reason to feel good.

    It actually baffles me that anyone would dare say something like that to a woman when they don't absolutely know for sure that she pregnant, and even then, a stranger's due date has sod all to do with them anyway. It's like how people think they have the right to manhandle a woman's bump, which is one reason that I'm glad I'm not having any children, I don't cope well with strangers forcing physical contact on me and I would seriously freak out at randomers thinking they have the right to feel my stomach just because there's a baby in there. People are so infuriating and inconsiderate sometimes. I second the notion of quickly replying with 'no baby, just fat', it embarasses people and seeing them backtrack with a mortified look on their face is pretty entertaining.
  • kirsisyda
    kirsisyda Posts: 3 Member
    It happened to me as well and more than once. I'm 5'6'' and about 145 lbs, so in the normal weight range. Once the guy even thought it was a good pick up line. I usually don't say anything, just make a face and walk away.
  • AmigaMaria001
    AmigaMaria001 Posts: 489 Member
    Well first off - It's none of their darn business whether a woman is pregnant or not or when her due date is!
    Secondly - why the heck would anyone ask that questions even of their best friend if that friend didn't specifically tell them they were pregnant.
    The rudeness of some people just never ceases to amaze!
    The question, "When are you due," is always rude under any circumstance because it always insinuates a big belly!
  • Imadorkable
    Imadorkable Posts: 442 Member
    I had the opposite happen. I am overweight and pregnant. I lost 30 lbs before getting pregnant. My husband and I were out shopping and some teenagers yelled out the window saying how fat I was. Nope not fat just a baby belly. I was glad they were in the car because my husband was ready to beat some heads together.
  • toadg53
    toadg53 Posts: 302 Member
    A good friend of mine is overweight. However her stomach looks to be about 8 months pregnant not due to her weight issue. She had breast cancer, and from the chemo, she now has a very enlarged liver. Well .... one time she was flying to FL with a connecting hub in Atlanta. The queue was very long. She was in line, when someone from the airline came up to her and took her to another line to the side. They made a comment that they didn't want her standing too long. She realized that they thought she was VERY pregnant, so wanted to get her out of the line. She was too mortified to say anything. On her way home, she had a connecting flight through Detroit. The weather was horrible and she wasn't able to fly out, so they were all given rooms in a hotel. Of course, long line to check in. Sure enuf ... same thing. She was whisked to the front of the line, again, becuz they didn't want her standing on her feet that long. Again, she was terrified to say anything to the contrary. But at the same time, she thought she was all that and then some, because she was about 47 at the time. So thought, wow, for them to think SHE could be pregnant? Outstanding !!
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