Need advice, what am I doing wrong?

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RedPillAlpha
RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
in Chit-Chat
I started going clubbing when I was 18, I used to have no confidence but then I used alcohol to give me confidence to talk to girls so I could have a few one night stands.
I then started getting depressed any night when I couldn't pull a girl so I started going to the gym thinking that it would make things easier if I improved my appearance, I spent a lot of time talking to others online who were trying to do improve themselves but I just ended up becoming more insecure. My face and body are now better looking but I have less confidence in myself because I am not yet at my goal and feel worthless. Alcohol no longer gives me the same confidence that it used to so I have to binge drink a lot in order to get courage to approach girls. I noticed that since I became better looking I can grab a girl on the dance floor and start making out with her without having to say a word, however by this stage I am so drunk that I'm not able to talk to her properly and convince her to come home with me.

It's funny how I thought something would solve my problems but it just made them worse.
What should I do now?
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Replies

  • justinegibbons
    justinegibbons Posts: 918 Member
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    Stop relying on alcohol to give you liquid courage. If you wanna talk to a girl, take to her. The worst she can do is tell you she's not interested. Also, if you act like a horny, drunk pig no girl is going to want to go home with you.
  • RedPillAlpha
    RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
    edited March 2015
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    justinegibbons wrote: »
    Stop relying on alcohol to give you liquid courage. If you wanna talk to a girl, take to her. The worst she can do is tell you she's not interested. Also, if you act like a horny, drunk pig no girl is going to want to go home with you.

    I've had many girls brush me off by turning away from me or shoving their hand in my face just after I said "hi, how are you" to them so telling me she's not interested isn't the worst thing she can do. Lol at saying I shouldn't need liquid courage, I can barely approach a girl when I'm intoxicated how am I going to do it when I'm sober

    I am 6'4 and 190 lbs, I thought that women would treat me in the same manner that men treat petite,slim girls

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  • MattBeFit
    MattBeFit Posts: 297 Member
    edited March 2015
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    A nice appearance is great, don't get me wrong, but there needs to be something fun and interesting behind it. It's crucial to the vibe you put out. Aside from your looks, who are you? Let people know in a light and approachable way.
  • RedPillAlpha
    RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
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    MattBeFit wrote: »
    A nice appearance is great, don't get me wrong, but there needs to be something fun and interesting behind it. It's crucial to the vibe you put out.

    But I want women to approach me and show me their personalities, why should it be my job to impress someone who is below me? I went clubbing witha guy a few nights ago who was the same height as me but had a better physique and an 8/10 face, girls were practically grabbing out of him but he had a girlfriend
  • MattBeFit
    MattBeFit Posts: 297 Member
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    RedPillAlpha wrote: »
    But I want women to approach me and show me their personalities, why should it be my job to impress someone who is below me? I went clubbing witha guy a few nights ago who was the same height as me but had a better physique and an 8/10 face, girls were practically grabbing out of him but he had a girlfriend

    Are you playing a character or do you actually think this way?
  • RedPillAlpha
    RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
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    MattBeFit wrote: »
    RedPillAlpha wrote: »
    But I want women to approach me and show me their personalities, why should it be my job to impress someone who is below me? I went clubbing witha guy a few nights ago who was the same height as me but had a better physique and an 8/10 face, girls were practically grabbing out of him but he had a girlfriend

    Are you playing a character or do you actually think this way?

    I am being serious
  • MattBeFit
    MattBeFit Posts: 297 Member
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    RedPillAlpha wrote: »
    I am being serious

    Ah, then I can't help ya bud because I can't relate. Good luck, though.
  • RedPillAlpha
    RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
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    MattBeFit wrote: »
    RedPillAlpha wrote: »
    I am being serious

    Ah, then I can't help ya bud because I can't relate. Good luck, though.

    Thank you anyway, I rarely find people that I can relate to tbh
  • emilyGPK
    emilyGPK Posts: 83 Member
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    If you are playing the game of trying to impress people to get sex, insecurity is an integral part of it. Maybe it is time for you to have some more mature goals.
  • haleklausen
    haleklausen Posts: 1,857 Member
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    Girls love confident men. They also like men who take charge. I kinda use to be the same way myself back then, but these days I use my sense of humor to talk them. Be the guy who takes charge don't be like that one guy hoping that she'll grab you out of the blue cause to me that sounds like wishful thinking.
  • RedPillAlpha
    RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
    edited March 2015
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    haleklausen wrote: »
    Girls love confident men. They also like men who take charge. I kinda use to be the same way myself back then, but these days I use my sense of humor to talk them. Be the guy who takes charge don't be like that one guy hoping that she'll grab you out of the blue cause to me that sounds like wishful thinking.

    I'm not gonna try be someone that I'm not to impress a girl, going to the gym and dressing better, taking care of my skin etc has made me feel better about myself but it cannot change my personality. I need to be an arrogant, loud jerk who tries to be center of attention all the time to get girls at that isn't me
  • haleklausen
    haleklausen Posts: 1,857 Member
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    Lol how's that working out for you so far?
  • RedPillAlpha
    RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
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    I feel like killing myself
  • haleklausen
    haleklausen Posts: 1,857 Member
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    Stop don't be like. So far you have three good things going on for yourself. Your obviously smart, in shape, and young. So don't even trip about it.
  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
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    If what you're doing isn't working, do something different. Maybe stop clubbing and start trying to meet girls in different ways. Take up a unisex sport. Volunteer. Go out with friends (to places other than clubs). Work on your personality issues (see quote:)
    But I want women to approach me and show me their personalities, why should it be my job to impress someone who is below me?

    Maybe instead of trying to hook up, work on dating skills and relationship skills.
  • RedPillAlpha
    RedPillAlpha Posts: 23
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    haleklausen wrote: »
    Stop don't be like. So far you have three good things going on for yourself. Your obviously smart, in shape, and young. So don't even trip about it.

    Thanks, it's just depressing me that I am working so hard to improve myself but the one thing that is the hardest to change is the way I act in social situations, then I see some guy who did nothing to improve himself but is naturally good in social situations getting with girls
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    Physique is a good start because physical attraction is important but if you haven't got anything to back it up with girls will soon realise and lose interest. Why not work on becoming a more interesting person. Pursue some interests or hobbies that you like and start taking an interest in current affairs etc. At least then you'll have something to talk about with them. Bonus points if you can somehow meet a girl while pursuing your interests because then you'll have something in common.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
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    Troll la la la la...................
  • Sweets1954
    Sweets1954 Posts: 506 Member
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    Are you serious with the women are below you? That might be your problem, not your looks.
  • jpaulie
    jpaulie Posts: 917 Member
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    ShellyBell999 wrote: »
    Troll la la la la...................

    yup not sure I am buyin this one either

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