a friend who says i am obsessed and ovethinking weightloss?
rachylouise87
Posts: 367 Member
i have a friend she recently started raspberry ketones and prima cleanse. she has lost 10lbs in a fortnight taking them ... i assume they make you lose a lot of water? anywhoo she thinks i am overthinking my weight loss methods. i go every day by CICO and working out. i recently added some T2 to the mix because i have plateaued. i live by the fact this is what makes weight loss and not eating a *kitten* diet and then taking pills to make you crap all the water in your body out? to me being healthy and doing HIIT training has transformed my body so much and carefully watching what i eat. i have allowed the odd takeaway and alcoholic drink but i am really determined because for me it is all about body image. Now i dont buy into these free pill trials and losing all this (weight) in 2 weeks because i believe hard work is the key to fat loss. i got a little upset by this because i have lost 47lbs through diet and exercise alone in 18 months but she will not eat fruit veg or even workout but then expects pills to do it for her?
she also said with fat burners you dont need to modify your diet ??? i clearly knew this was wrong but how do i deal with this.. i do not feel i am obsessed or doing anything wrong but i think her knowledge on the subject is a lacking a little
she also said with fat burners you dont need to modify your diet ??? i clearly knew this was wrong but how do i deal with this.. i do not feel i am obsessed or doing anything wrong but i think her knowledge on the subject is a lacking a little
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Replies
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Is this a rant or do you have a question?0
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Smile and nod and tell her "you do you and I'll do me"0
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No comment on the raspberry; you'll get plenty of comments regarding that.
I would say: stop talking to your friend about dieting. She may think you're obsessing simply because you're talking about it so much. It may be a two-way street; she may be bringing the subject up frequently. I don't know. If she does, I'd just say, "I'm so happy you're doing so well!" If she says, "You should stop what you're doing and try what I'm doing," I'd say, "I'll think about that! Hey, did you see last night's episode of X?" and change the subject.
If she brings it up more than you'd like and won't be dissuaded, I'd say, "We just keep having this same conversation. I say, each of us does what's right for her own body" and change the subject again.
BUT if it's you bringing up the subject...stop.
I have an autistic son and I have a friend who was constantly bringing up New Autism Therapy X that "performed miracles." I'd either tell her I'd already try it (she'd argue that maybe I didn't do it right), say I'd researched the science and it was bogus (she'd say "Oh, but my friend experienced miracles with this!") or otherwise engage her. Nowadays I say "How interesting! There is SO much research nowadays in the field of autism and our kids have more hope than ever" or something like that, and change the subject.0 -
katherine_startrek_fan wrote: »Is this a rant or do you have a question?
yes sorry the point being how do i deal with her.
and no i never bring this up she keeps trying to tell me to take these pills
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This is why everyone has their own bodies to do with what they choose.
Just stay your course, congrats on your success! Most health care professionals would agree with your take on weight loss. It is healthy and will lead to long term success because you are changing your habits that led to being overweight
Politely tell your friend you both have your own opinions and if she can't respect yours and stop making you feel bad about it, then she clearly isn't your friend. It is okay to have differing opinions and discuss them like adults. But it sounds like she is jealous and possibly trying to bring you down. You can try to educate her or have a discussion. But again, everyone can do with their bodies as they choose. Stay focused on you!0 -
She's been duped by the diet industry. They're robbing her blind and ruining her body. Most of her weight loss is water and muscle, I'm sure. The loss of muscle will make it that much more difficult for her to keep the weight off and lose it again after she's gained it all back.
The next time she goes off on you how easy it is to lose weight by using pills, ask her how she plans to maintain her weight once she reaches her goal. I'm betting she has no strategy unless it's "take more pills when I realize I've gained all of the weight back."0 -
Well, when she gains all the weight back because she never learned to modify her eating habits, she'll either shut her mouth, or, when she sees you keeping it off, will come around to your way of thinking. Time will tell.0
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It can be frustrating to hear of someone losing 10 pounds in a couple of weeks on a fad diet, when we are working our butts off for 1 pound or less a week. But we also know that this is a temporary loss for your friend. Just smile and say "that's nice" and in a couple of weeks, when she gains the weight back, plus more and is crying over how she can't lose weight, you can offer suggestions on what is working for you.0
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And I agree with the suggestion to stop discussing weight loss with her.0
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rachylouise87 wrote: »katherine_startrek_fan wrote: »Is this a rant or do you have a question?
yes sorry the point being how do i deal with her.
and no i never bring this up she keeps trying to tell me to take these pills
Okay. So tell her "I'm so glad they're working for you. Everybody is different, we all find our own path, now let's go shopping for that pair of shoes" or something like that.
If she continues to be intrusive about it, it's time for a Come to Jesus talk. "It makes me uncomfortable when you continue to try to get me to take the raspberry ketones. I just don't want to try it, period."
If she STILL refuses to stop, is she really your friend? I mean who does that? Lay off!
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She's been duped by the diet industry. They're robbing her blind and ruining her body. Most of her weight loss is water and muscle, I'm sure. The loss of muscle will make it that much more difficult for her to keep the weight off and lose it again after she's gained it all back.
The next time she goes off on you how easy it is to lose weight by using pills, ask her how she plans to maintain her weight once she reaches her goal. I'm betting she has no strategy unless it's "take more pills when I realize I've gained all of the weight back."
I say, don't engage her. If the OP says this, you KNOW the friend is going to say, "But this is a jump-start" or "this allows you to teach yourself better eating while losing the weight" or some other-such. And it will just go 'round and 'round in circles.
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rachylouise87 wrote: »katherine_startrek_fan wrote: »Is this a rant or do you have a question?
yes sorry the point being how do i deal with her.
and no i never bring this up she keeps trying to tell me to take these pills
Tell her you're allergic to raspberries 0 -
rachylouise87 wrote: »katherine_startrek_fan wrote: »Is this a rant or do you have a question?
yes sorry the point being how do i deal with her.
and no i never bring this up she keeps trying to tell me to take these pills
She's probably jealous of your progress so far, knows that she does not want to or chooses not to improve her diet and start working out, so she's trying to convince herself via you and anyone else who will listen to her that surely there has to be a different method! Purely speculative on my part, obviously. Just basing that off of what you posted.0 -
What's T2?0
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Who cares?
She's wrong.
You know shes wrong.
We know she's wrong.
Deep down, even if she won't admit it, *she* knows she's wrong.
Let time be the educator here. She'll eventually ... relapse (for lack of a better word ) and you'll be living your new life.
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Say "I will not take pills to lose weight. You can do what you like but if you want to remain friends never suggest pills to me again."
If she does it it again hang up or leave.0 -
Congrats on your weight loss. (*)
Let her live in her own weirdness. Find things to talk about other than weight loss with the deep knowledge that you are doing what is right for you. 
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TavistockToad wrote: »What's T2?
Alpha T2 for thermogenisis. i like the thermo method for burning fat. i tend to eat lots of thermo foods. but i thought a suppliment could not hurt. she did make a comment about it being like ephedrine which she also used to take.
1. ephedrine is illegal in the UK without a prescription
2. i would never take stimulants of this nature
3. shes comparing my natural fat burners to ephedrine?
she told me earlier she has lost a stone in 9 days so two different stories so i think shes fibbing
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You don't have anything else to talk about? Don't talk health issues, plain and simple. Not really difficult.0
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Your friend is looking for a quick fix - and will not have long term success. Reply politely that you're happy with your process & progress and wish her luck on hers.rachylouise87 wrote: »i have a friend she recently started raspberry ketones and prima cleanse. she has lost 10lbs in a fortnight taking them ... i assume they make you lose a lot of water? anywhoo she thinks i am overthinking my weight loss methods. i go every day by CICO and working out. i recently added some T2 to the mix because i have plateaued. i live by the fact this is what makes weight loss and not eating a *kitten* diet and then taking pills to make you crap all the water in your body out? to me being healthy and doing HIIT training has transformed my body so much and carefully watching what i eat. i have allowed the odd takeaway and alcoholic drink but i am really determined because for me it is all about body image. Now i dont buy into these free pill trials and losing all this (weight) in 2 weeks because i believe hard work is the key to fat loss. i got a little upset by this because i have lost 47lbs through diet and exercise alone in 18 months but she will not eat fruit veg or even workout but then expects pills to do it for her?
she also said with fat burners you dont need to modify your diet ??? i clearly knew this was wrong but how do i deal with this.. i do not feel i am obsessed or doing anything wrong but i think her knowledge on the subject is a lacking a little
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being someone who has been duped by all the fad pills myself.........well look where i am! lol she may eventually end up here too.0
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Ah, so you just take different pills and that's the actual root of the argument?0
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rachylouise87 wrote: »katherine_startrek_fan wrote: »Is this a rant or do you have a question?
yes sorry the point being how do i deal with her.
and no i never bring this up she keeps trying to tell me to take these pills
You don't. You don't deal with her. You just let her believe what she believes, and continue to do what you know to work - create a calorie deficit to lose weight, and workout to improve fitness.
It's ok to just let other people be wrong.
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Smile and nod and tell her "you do you and I'll do me"
that. i have friends who do shakes and wraps and pills and whatever else dr oz is promoting. i guarantee you in a year, i will have outpaced them and be much more successful.
theyll either figure it out, or yoyo forever, but you can't make them do anything.0 -
SergeantSausage wrote: »Who cares?
She's wrong.
You know shes wrong.
We know she's wrong.
Deep down, even if she won't admit it, *she* knows she's wrong.
Let time be the educator here. She'll eventually ... relapse (for lack of a better word ) and you'll be living your new life.
This.0 -
Just break up 0
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herrspoons wrote: »
she thinks the t2 i take is ephedrine which it is not. she feels i dont have to overthink my diet and exercise to lose weight all i have to do is take these pills she is taking and i will drop the weight off like she has. we have different bodies. she doesnt want to amend her diet and certainly doesnt want to exercise. i have managed to lose without help so far but since nearing my goal i was recommended the supplements i now take .. started them yesterday so i cant really make any judgments on them. she thinks by doing what shes doing and eating what i want but just taking these damn pills i will be 2 stone lighter in a matter of weeks. i have tried educating her on CICO but she doesnt want to listen and just insists all fat burners contain ephedrine in which you do not have to modify your diet for them to help. she says losing weight has consumed me and to the point of where i dont have to have a healthy bmi or be a certain size. even commenting on me being a size 10 unhealthy because i would be too skinny. i am 5ft 1 and a size 14 right now (uk size)
its just a difficult situation because she feels she knows best. if i try to educate her on strength training or HIIT she wont listen just keeps pushing the pills. i have never used anything to lose weight other than i tried xls medical one time which made me horribly bloated and i did not lose weight and then starting the T2 yesterday. i keep trying to avoid the conversation but it doesnt always help
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Unfortunately there are people who have to feel they're right about everything and don't want to listen to another point of view. It has taken me to the age of 40 to realise that it's not worth discussing anything other than the weather or other topics which aren't based on evidence or facts with them, even if you know your subject or are living proof that your way works!
I am finding that my tolerance level for people like this is getting less and less and even so called friends can be hard to get along with because they simply won't listen and their way is always the right way.
I have been where you she is now, I didn't bother to try and educate myself about the best way to lose weight and keep it off and tried practically every diet pill out there. I also tried stupid diets I read about in magazines like the maple syrup diet where I lost a stone in 10 days but I didn't really think about what I was going to do to sustain my weight loss. At one point I managed to get 4 stone off (I was a UK 14-16) by eating very clean/low carb and going from zero exercise to 3-4 times a week but it wasn't sustainable either as I craved all the foods I wasn't allowing myself to have and gained the weight back.
Before joining MFP I used to go through a cycle of losing weight every summer by using diet pills combined with very low calories and exercise and I'd get down to a UK 8-10 and feel great, stop the pills, eat more and by New Year's Eve I'd be heavier than ever.
This is the first time in my entire adult life (I've been struggling with my weight since the age of about 20) that I've bothered to really study TDEE, CICO eating back some exercise calories and losing weight slowly and so far since Jan 5th I've lost 8lbs. Some weeks like this week I've lost nothing and I'm not overly happy with my rate of losing but I have for the first time ever on a 'diet' been able to eat a little of what I want for majority of the time and still lose weight.
The difference between me and your friend is I never had anyone to give me an alternative way to do it as most of my friends either did the same as me or were already naturally thin. I was only doing what I thought was the only option at the time.
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