Could use some support

kimreagan87
kimreagan87 Posts: 25 Member
edited November 13 in Motivation and Support
im a single mother of 3 kids. I have a 6 year old a 17 month old and I 2 month old. I found out I was pregnant with my last after I left my husband due to his drug addiction. Our relationship was so stressful so I ate all my emotions. I want to make a better life for me and my children. I have just started working again and I would love to go back to school. But I'm afraid going back to school and working and raising my family by myself I won't be able to keep up with a healthy lifestyle. I'm trying extremely hard to take off the 60 pounds I gained since marrying my husband but between the 3 kids and work and breastfeeding and if I start school I don't know how I'm going to do it all. Am I setting myself up for failing

Replies

  • AnitaCRice
    AnitaCRice Posts: 114 Member
    I'm just here to say I'm hoping the best for you. I have a 2 1/2 year old little boy, but I'm not a single mother, so I have a lot of respect for what you're faced with. Work, school, and family is putting a lot on your plate at one time. Maybe focus on one small change at a time, as far as health is concerned, so that you don't get overwhelmed. Also, maybe trying to fit in small periods of activity rather than one long workout session would be easier for you.

    Best of luck with your success in all aspects!
  • dseign
    dseign Posts: 25
    Look at yourself differently. There is physical hygiene we do daily, but we forgo mental hygiene. You need to start looking in the mirror and speaking positive things into your life instead of the criticism most find themselves doing. Nurture yourself!
  • AlisonTheNerd
    AlisonTheNerd Posts: 41 Member
    Set small goals, day by day. Do what you can, and try not to fret if you have to change goals as you go on, or you slip up one day. Diet guilt derails a lot of people. You can overcome that if you just accept that and carry on.

    Also, with kids that small, you can easily do baby training. Lift the baby in the air (like an airplane) as a weight. :P Only safely of course! But as your kids grow, so will your muscles if you pick them up frequently.
  • jsobole
    jsobole Posts: 139 Member
    edited March 2015
    Agree with small goals! Why don't you just look at diet right now and maybe when your baby is a bit older start looking at a fitness routine. You can increase your exercise by just walking more/taking the stairs at work, etc. Don't set unreasonable expectations! You've got a newborn so be good to yourself! Try to sleep (I know, right?) and eat right.
  • JenMc14
    JenMc14 Posts: 2,389 Member
    edited March 2015
    Small goals for sure. Start by focusing on what and how much you eat. Figure out what is a deficit. Then, figure out your "free time". Is there a consistent block of time where you getting to yourself? Can you get up earlier or stay up later? FitnessBlender.com and The BeFit channel on YouTube both have several 10-15 minute work outs. Or, when the weather gets nice, take the kids for a walk, run around at the park, etc. for extra movement. You can slo incorporate the bigger kids by putting on ,used and having a dance party, or doing jumping jacks and such together.
  • clayfield0813
    clayfield0813 Posts: 32 Member
    First of all... To give due respect to what I feel is the most important thing you wrote....good for you for putting your children first and their welfare. As far as all the things you want to do...don't over work yourself or worry. If u want to do anything in your life you will find a way and time. Don't rush. We think we need to do it all at once but we stress ourselves out. I once was a single mom also. Focus on things of most importance to you and go from there. God bless.
  • HTECHS
    HTECHS Posts: 55 Member
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  • beckyml1980
    beckyml1980 Posts: 126 Member
    No you aren't setting yourself up for failure. You are a single working mom and time is tight. Life often happens and is unpredictable at best. I am a full time working mom of two boys. I do have a husband, but we work opposite shifts during the week so that our kids do not have to be put into daycare. I also am in school for accounting. I understand more than anyone how time is precious when there isn't a lot of it. I can only tell you how I deal with it, and mind you I do not have a newborn baby, or a busy 17 month old. My kids are 9 and 5. But since I find time is so limited, I am up at 4:30 am to do a workout. I do my workouts at home as that is what works for me. I look for workouts that are no longer than 40 minutes long. I find these are what work best for my time limit. I prelog my meals the day before, I batch cook and freeze meals on sunday and I make dinners that will last me at least 2 nights.

    I commend you for all you are doing while dealing with being a single mom. You can totally do this! If you would like support, please add me as a friend. I am on daily and only have a handful of people on my list so that I can provide support. You can totally do this.

    And like others have said, start with small goals.
  • dasher602014
    dasher602014 Posts: 1,992 Member
    Wow. Lots on your plate. You have already made the most important change in your life. You are obviously very strong. Be good to yourself, be good to your kids and things will fall into place. For dieting, eat a carrot instead of a cookie, cook what you know is good for your kids and eat only your potion (not what is left over on their plates). For exercise, play with them, outside whenever possible. Get a strong life going in your new circumstances, with the best choices you can going into your mouth, then think about counting calories if you have to. Don't sweat the small stuff. You have big stuff, important stuff, difficult stuff and truly wonderful stuff to get going on. The small stuff, like calories, will fall into line because you are a good mom and a good decision maker. Congrats. Keep on with your wonderful new life.
  • jsheter
    jsheter Posts: 13 Member
    Super impressed with your ambition! I have a 5 month old and a supportive partner and still can find it difficult to manage good eating habits! YOU CAN DO THIS--it is a decision and a goal for yourself. Take each moment at a time. Break down the day into moments and make the best decision you can at that time for you and your babies. I will be thinking of you!
  • kimreagan87
    kimreagan87 Posts: 25 Member
    Thank you all for your kind words. I think it is wonderful that there are such kind people who can say such amazing things to a stanger. It gives me such hope. Thank you all so much
  • nala3177
    nala3177 Posts: 64 Member
    I think you are an amazingly strong woman. I was a single mom for 5 years until I met my fiancé and I can totally understand your fear. However, you are doing it! Everyday you are putting your kids and yourself in a better position to be healthier emotionally and physically. In terms of getting everything done...make a routine and try to stick with it. Ask for help! I was so stubborn thinking that I could do it on my own and afraid I would be seen as a failure that it took me years to say "hey can you help me?". Also prep prep prep. Chop veggies and get them portioned. You can even enlist your kiddos with that and have them count the pieces and get them in baggies.
    You can do this!
  • reinhart_doug
    reinhart_doug Posts: 7 Member
    I think what you are doing is the hardest thing and most rewarding raising your children in such a difficult circumstance. Day by day is all you can do. I read a book Mindfulness in a frantic world due to all my stress and it changed my life. It may help.
  • jallen8484
    jallen8484 Posts: 6 Member
    First of all, wow! You are really brave to do what you had to do to protect yourself and your family.

    If you want to loose weight start with what you eat. People forget that 80% of weight loss is diet and it doesn't take tons of hours like exercise.

    Also ,try a program like BeFit in 90. It is free on YouTube and you only need a couple of hand weights. In about 30 minutes you are done, and you are already home so you can move on with your day.

    You will slip up. It sounds like you had to make a lot of major changes really close together so slip-up are expected. But even if you miss a day (or week as I did) you can get right back on the wagon. I say go for it! You got this!
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