Afraid of losing 'Too Much'

you will always be you no matter how much weight you lose. personality doesnt change with exercise, your longevity of life may though.

Abigeal2015 wrote: »

I love my body and although it's great it has its flaws that I would prefer to be done with them.
I weight 219Lb but am able to carry it well.
219lb is a lot for someone so young, and I feel like a freak.
But more than that I don't want to lose too much that I'm not me anymore.
Does anyone else have this problem?

As afur73 said, you will always be you no matter what. You're going to find that you enjoy the "new and improved" version of yourself but, at your core, you'll still be the same.

And ignore people who try to berate you along the way. Pick the goal you want. Do this for you, not for anonymous internet trolls.

Speaking cold, hard truth is berating/trolling nowadays. Either listen to soft and cuddly messages posted by people who need motivation and can easily "relapse", or listen to a no-*kitten* breakdown by people who have discipline and are allergic to the junk food version of encouragement.
"Not every woman needs to have a BMI of 20 to look good" - no, they don't, but they sure as hell won't look better with a BMI of 27.
"Great thing that you love your body" - Already established that if you love something, you don't let it go to waste.
"Lose weight slowly without a stupidly HIGH deficit" - no one advocated for this.
"Stop when you feel comfortable with yourself" - Comfort is the death of progress. You can love who you are (genuinely love) and still know you can be better and strive to achieve it.
"Don't aim for a size 0" - Again, no one advocated to get unhealthy on the other end of the spectrum. Then again there is no universal size 0 in women's clothing - you should know that.
"Inability to love yourself" - Oh so you believe it and praise her for loving herself when she's OBESE, but apparently underweight people don't love themselves, are unhappy, obsessed, etc.

You - Learn how your body works - and learn it from non-HAES sites. Go to the pool and push yourself swimming, walk places, don't use elevators, escalators, etc.. Make a proper diet with a calorie deficit based on your daily activities and your body. Start weight training. Do other cardio, but nothing too intensive on your joints yet because you'll just further damage them because of your weight - start doing "land" cardio when you're down to a reasonable BMI. Then do HIIT. Cardio isn't cardio unless you're a hot, sweaty mess at the end. Anything else is *kitten*.
If you have fat friends, cut them out or learn to not listen to their jabs because no fat person likes to see another fat person lose weight -- it just flares up their own insecurities.
There is no reward "because I was good" food. There is keeping to your diet and there is failing. You don't get the luxury of reward foods when you're in damage control mode.
Likewise - "cheat days" don't mean you pig out on cake and ice cream; they just mean you eat more of what you'd eat to create a calorie surplus.

If you don't know how to do any of that, go to the gym and find a personal trainer or use one of the established programs that are shown to work (for the love of god, just not crossfit). Come to think of it, get a competent personal trainer anyway to show you proper form when lifting, and to give you tips on your diet.

At the end of the day, just remember that if you cheat and lie on your plan, the only one you're hurting is yourself.
...Yourself, and the taxpayers who are forced to pay higher healthcare premiums and whose tax dollars are more heavily allocated to welfare/disability payments because apparently you are perfectly healthy and beautiful when you're fat, but still file for disability. Ah, and let's not forget being a global market force which means companies will adjust their products to your unhealthy tastes/lifestyle. Oh, and your children will have a much higher probability to become fat because of you, too; obesity in developing children is also linked with a smaller IQ, so they also have that going for them when they grow up. Thanks, mom and dad.
BUT APART FROM ALL THAT, you're only hurting yourself.

Now go become a proud and productive member of society other people can look up to. It's going to be hard, but you don't grow as a person by staying in your comfort zone.

your weight doesnt dictate who u are. aim to be healthy. my goal is to reach a healthy weight for my height. has nothing to do with what size i will wear. i love myself enough now to do that for myself. its a journey but worth it. i thought i carried my weight well at my heaviest. -215. well honestly i look at pictures of me back then and realize i was fooling myself. i was wearing a size 18-20. thats not carrying my weight well. sometimes we can't see it when we living it.

It just sounds like anxiety. You will always be you. How do you know you wont look great without the weight, you would certainly be considerably healthier. If you start to lose weight you will be in control and you cna always decide when to stop or if you dont like thin and healthier then you can enjoy putting it back on.

Why not just lose it in 5lb steps and then reassess when you are at your ideal weight.

@Abigeal2015‌ I understand where you are coming from. However, I'd like to ask you a couple of questions to consider?

1. If you where completely happy with yourself the way you are now, why are you considering changing?
2. Is there anything physically that you would like to do but don't because if your weight?
3. How do you feel when shopping for clothes?
4. When you become a mom, will you be able to keep up with your children?

I am a 5'1 1/2" woman ( not much shorter than you) I'm 53 years old and spent the last 20years over 200lbs. I started out in August 2014 weighing 295 but just reached 219. I can honestly say that even though my weight is evenly distributed I am not at a good weight. This weight I carry prevents me from doing all the things I really want to do. Not to mention unhealthy. As you are a young woman I want to strongly encourage you to lose some weight as others have said, it won't change who you are as a person it will only enhance the good qualities you admire about yourself now.