Bringing your food to family reunion?

mikkielias
mikkielias Posts: 21
edited November 14 in Food and Nutrition
Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
Thoughts on this?
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Replies

  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    How do you feel about missing it? Do you want to go? Will there be a huge fallout if you don't go? I would either go and eat some of what's there and just chalk it up and move on...or I wouldn't go at all...if they are that jerk like towards you.
  • monikker
    monikker Posts: 322 Member
    I would try to fit in your macros and goals around what they have there. I know you really wanna stick with your plan and your food, maybe you could bring a bag with some of your food just in case you can't salvage an entire meal that's suitable from the reunion food. But I would at least try...just eat small portions of you're not sure how to account for the calories. Maybe adjust your food later and eat less of it if that's your concern.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    OP losing weight should not be this difficult, and it definitely shouldn't interfere with family time.
    No, don't bring your own different food to a lunch you have been invited to...
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Sometimes being around family is not in one's best interest. Stay away from this reunion and find something you like to do instead.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    choose wisely, one day wont really matter.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

  • taraskylit
    taraskylit Posts: 48 Member
    Are you competing?
    Do you get money for dieting?
    Can you not fit the food into your calories/macros?

    I would be weary about your relationship with food.
    A family event is amazing, cherish it.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    edited March 2015
    mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

    Exactly, I'd have thought some pasta and tomato sauce would be perfect for hitting that carb target.

    If that's you in your profile pic, I'm not sure why you're worried about 1 day. Unless you really don't want to see your family, in which case don't go.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    If you don't want to go because relatives can be annoying, make the decision because of that. If it's because you are worried about fitting it in, well it might be time to reevaluate what and why you are doing this.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    taraskylit wrote: »
    A family event is amazing, cherish it.

    That totally depends on the family...

  • pensierobello
    pensierobello Posts: 285 Member
    Go and don't worry about it.
  • mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

    because I have this family lunch and then Im going to eat some frozen yogurt with friends and have a dinner with my boyfriend and already planed on having pasta there because we are going to an italian restaurant.
  • mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

    Exactly, I'd have thought some pasta and tomato sauce would be perfect for hitting that carb target.

    If that's you in your profile pic, I'm not sure why you're worried about 1 day. Unless you really don't want to see your family, in which case don't go.

    well maybe its also because of that, my family kind of leaves me a side in those reunions, they don't even speak to me and when they serve lunch and the food plates even if I eat what they are all eating they all start making jokes like: can't believe you are eating carbs, or: are you going to puke that later? or ¨miracle just happened¨Ï bet because of this food you won't eat any more during the day¨ those kind of jokes hurt me
  • taraskylit wrote: »
    Are you competing?
    Do you get money for dieting?
    Can you not fit the food into your calories/macros?

    I would be weary about your relationship with food.
    A family event is amazing, cherish it.

    well actually Im competing on March, 28 hehe..
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    mikkielias wrote: »
    mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

    Exactly, I'd have thought some pasta and tomato sauce would be perfect for hitting that carb target.

    If that's you in your profile pic, I'm not sure why you're worried about 1 day. Unless you really don't want to see your family, in which case don't go.

    well maybe its also because of that, my family kind of leaves me a side in those reunions, they don't even speak to me and when they serve lunch and the food plates even if I eat what they are all eating they all start making jokes like: can't believe you are eating carbs, or: are you going to puke that later? or ¨miracle just happened¨Ï bet because of this food you won't eat any more during the day¨ those kind of jokes hurt me

    Presumably there is more to the story than you're letting on if your family hint at you having disordered eating habits?


  • Presumably there is more to the story than you're letting on if your family hint at you having disordered eating habits?
    [/quote]

    not really, I just like eating healthy, they don't get it maybe because none of them (except for my mother) eats like I do. They even make a family drama if I prefer to skip dessert. Even my cousin who is a nutritionist starts to tell me I shouldn't be that dedicated with my diet <- are you serious?¡
    - I don't get it in general why people worry much about what others rather eat or not.
  • pensierobello
    pensierobello Posts: 285 Member
    mikkielias wrote: »

    Presumably there is more to the story than you're letting on if your family hint at you having disordered eating habits?

    not really, I just like eating healthy, they don't get it maybe because none of them (except for my mother) eats like I do. They even make a family drama if I prefer to skip dessert. Even my cousin who is a nutritionist starts to tell me I shouldn't be that dedicated with my diet <- are you serious?¡
    - I don't get it in general why people worry much about what others rather eat or not.[/quote]

    There's eating healthy and there's eating too little. Are you? If your cousin is telling you that, and she's a nutritionist, don't you think there might be a grain of reality in it? Disordered eating isn't just about eating too much or too little, it can be that you have obsessive habits and your family have picked up on it and are jovially, in their opinion, trying to get you to loosen up. Perhaps you should chat to a dietitian or your doctor about this?
  • SilverRose89
    SilverRose89 Posts: 447 Member
    edited March 2015
    I don't know your situation so feel free to ignore this comment.

    But, from the combination of you not wanting to eat the food at the reunion as it would throw you off for one day, the fact your family makes comments about how you don't eat (or would puke...??), and that a nutritionist has said you shouldn't be as 'dedicated' as you are with your diet, I would say it does sound like you could be having some disordered ideas about eating.

    I strongly recommend considering whether this could be the case. It is not a good road to be going down and one that you can get help with.
  • monikker
    monikker Posts: 322 Member
    mikkielias wrote: »
    mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

    Exactly, I'd have thought some pasta and tomato sauce would be perfect for hitting that carb target.

    If that's you in your profile pic, I'm not sure why you're worried about 1 day. Unless you really don't want to see your family, in which case don't go.

    well maybe its also because of that, my family kind of leaves me a side in those reunions, they don't even speak to me and when they serve lunch and the food plates even if I eat what they are all eating they all start making jokes like: can't believe you are eating carbs, or: are you going to puke that later? or ¨miracle just happened¨Ï bet because of this food you won't eat any more during the day¨ those kind of jokes hurt me

    Did you guys read what she wrote? She eats a ton of carbs and her family is like "omg you're eating carbs?" She said they don't really talk to her except to make jokes I guess. The nutritionist probably believes in eating "balanced" diets and probably doesn't track calories so she doesn't get it. Not all nutritionists actually know the info that people on here do.

    You don't sound like you have an eating problem to me. It sounds like your family is full of jerks. I say don't go if it's not too late to say so. Maybe they will miss you and treat you better if you hang around less.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    It's a special occasion...these kind of things will always exist so it's best to learn how to deal with them...nobody got fat because of an occasion.
  • pensierobello
    pensierobello Posts: 285 Member
    Did you guys read what she wrote? She eats a ton of carbs and her family is like "omg you're eating carbs?" She said they don't really talk to her except to make jokes I guess. The nutritionist probably believes in eating "balanced" diets and probably doesn't track calories so she doesn't get it. Not all nutritionists actually know the info that people on here do.

    You don't sound like you have an eating problem to me. It sounds like your family is full of jerks. I say don't go if it's not too late to say so. Maybe they will miss you and treat you better if you hang around less.

    Yep, we read what she wrote. It doesn't make it what is actually the case (maybe her family aren't nice, perhaps they are 'jerks', as you call them, but maybe they're just fine, and her emotional connection to food is screwed up and they're just trying to nudge her towards healthier habits, even if it's not in a helpful way) - like us, you're reading between the lines and guessing, too. I don't think cutting your family off over food is the answer - at the very least, this lady should have a chat with them about how their behaviour is making her feel, and then they can explain their reasoning for doing so.
  • SilverRose89
    SilverRose89 Posts: 447 Member
    monikker wrote: »
    Did you guys read what she wrote? She eats a ton of carbs and her family is like "omg you're eating carbs?" She said they don't really talk to her except to make jokes I guess. The nutritionist probably believes in eating "balanced" diets and probably doesn't track calories so she doesn't get it. Not all nutritionists actually know the info that people on here do.

    You don't sound like you have an eating problem to me. It sounds like your family is full of jerks. I say don't go if it's not too late to say so. Maybe they will miss you and treat you better if you hang around less.

    Yes, I did read what she wrote.

    And I'd much rather tell someone that it *possibly* reads as if they have disordered thoughts about eating as opposed to enabling someone to keep up with those thoughts and tell them that their family are jerks who she should distance herself from.


  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    monikker wrote: »
    mikkielias wrote: »
    mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

    Exactly, I'd have thought some pasta and tomato sauce would be perfect for hitting that carb target.

    If that's you in your profile pic, I'm not sure why you're worried about 1 day. Unless you really don't want to see your family, in which case don't go.

    well maybe its also because of that, my family kind of leaves me a side in those reunions, they don't even speak to me and when they serve lunch and the food plates even if I eat what they are all eating they all start making jokes like: can't believe you are eating carbs, or: are you going to puke that later? or ¨miracle just happened¨Ï bet because of this food you won't eat any more during the day¨ those kind of jokes hurt me

    Did you guys read what she wrote? She eats a ton of carbs and her family is like "omg you're eating carbs?" She said they don't really talk to her except to make jokes I guess. The nutritionist probably believes in eating "balanced" diets and probably doesn't track calories so she doesn't get it. Not all nutritionists actually know the info that people on here do.

    You don't sound like you have an eating problem to me. It sounds like your family is full of jerks. I say don't go if it's not too late to say so. Maybe they will miss you and treat you better if you hang around less.

    They also make comments about her puking up her food...
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    monikker wrote: »
    mikkielias wrote: »
    mikkielias wrote: »
    Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
    Thoughts on this?

    If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?

    Exactly, I'd have thought some pasta and tomato sauce would be perfect for hitting that carb target.

    If that's you in your profile pic, I'm not sure why you're worried about 1 day. Unless you really don't want to see your family, in which case don't go.

    well maybe its also because of that, my family kind of leaves me a side in those reunions, they don't even speak to me and when they serve lunch and the food plates even if I eat what they are all eating they all start making jokes like: can't believe you are eating carbs, or: are you going to puke that later? or ¨miracle just happened¨Ï bet because of this food you won't eat any more during the day¨ those kind of jokes hurt me

    Did you guys read what she wrote? She eats a ton of carbs and her family is like "omg you're eating carbs?" She said they don't really talk to her except to make jokes I guess. The nutritionist probably believes in eating "balanced" diets and probably doesn't track calories so she doesn't get it. Not all nutritionists actually know the info that people on here do.

    You don't sound like you have an eating problem to me. It sounds like your family is full of jerks. I say don't go if it's not too late to say so. Maybe they will miss you and treat you better if you hang around less.

    Yes, read what she wrote, and it sounds like there is a whole lot missing from the story. Many times people will make jokes when a topic is uncomfortable and they aren't sure how to discuss it. So yes sounds like there may be history here that we are unaware of.
  • monikker
    monikker Posts: 322 Member
    Yeah but she's never puked up her food? She said she just eats healthy and said nothing about puking up food other than her family joking about it - leading me to believe she's never done that...

    According to the info given, her family is definitely mean.
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
    The whole situations (from all sides) sounds sad and toxic.

    It's all toxic--just break up already...with either your Tupperware or your family. IDK, too much vital information missing. It's all sucky from every angle.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    monikker wrote: »
    Yeah but she's never puked up her food? She said she just eats healthy and said nothing about puking up food other than her family joking about it - leading me to believe she's never done that...

    According to the info given, her family is definitely mean.

    No you are assuming that
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    monikker wrote: »
    Yeah but she's never puked up her food? She said she just eats healthy and said nothing about puking up food other than her family joking about it - leading me to believe she's never done that...

    According to the info given, her family is definitely mean.

    That's your opinion, but I would be pretty worried if my family made jokes about me puking up if it was totally unsubstantiated....
  • monikker
    monikker Posts: 322 Member
    Just cause your family doesn't get it doesn't mean she has a problem. I had a weird period of time where I was really anemic and my appetite was gone for at least half a year. It was frustrating, and my sis was like, "Are you sure you're not controlling your food cause you feel this is the one thing you can control?" Like I was starving myself on purpose...I would never do an ED type thing like that. But family can get all worried about stuff. With OP going out for frozen yogurt and heavy pasta later and admitting to 230 g carbs I really don't think she has a problem...most people who have some type of ED issue would not do those things, lol. Family doesn't deserve your company if they don't appreciate or respect it. Talking to them about it may be a good idea though.
  • SilverRose89
    SilverRose89 Posts: 447 Member
    edited March 2015
    monikker wrote: »
    According to the info given, her family is definitely mean.

    Once upon a time, I would have said my parents were mean and were hell bent on making my life difficult.

    If you asked them, they would have told you they were looking out for me and trying to stop me causing myself harm.

    Now I am in a better place, I would agree with them.


    Sometimes, a story is not exactly how it sounds. Even if it is not the tellers intention. I am not suggesting that is definitely the case here, just that it's best to err on the side of caution.
This discussion has been closed.