Bringing your food to family reunion?
Replies
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If she did have past issues with eating such as a history with puking, why on Earth would her family say things like are you gonna puke that later?? That's more mean than saying that if she doesn't have a problem!0
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If she did have past issues with eating such as a history with puking, why on Earth would her family say things like are you gonna puke that later?? That's more mean than saying that if she doesn't have a problem!
No it could be a way for them to get their concern out over an uncomfortable situation. But again not enough information to continue this.0 -
I'm going to a baby shower today, and I know they'll have a ton of food. Yesterday was an "unhealthy" day for me. I will be bringing a protein drink in a non-conspicuous bottle, and will partake in a veggie tray of its there.
I've had breakfast, lunch, and a snack. This was a last minute invite. Had I known sooner, I'd skipped lunch. But I'm not going to blow my planned day with pigs in blankets and sausage balls and such.
Providing you meat your nutrient goals regularly, your relationship with food is healthy, and you do know it's okay to splurge now and again, i see no issue with bringing food. When others comment, remind yourself (and them if need be) that you are doing this for you, not them. Good luck!0 -
mikkielias wrote: »
Presumably there is more to the story than you're letting on if your family hint at you having disordered eating habits?
not really, I just like eating healthy, they don't get it maybe because none of them (except for my mother) eats like I do. They even make a family drama if I prefer to skip dessert. Even my cousin who is a nutritionist starts to tell me I shouldn't be that dedicated with my diet <- are you serious?¡
- I don't get it in general why people worry much about what others rather eat or not.[/quote]
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i don't thinkGiveMeCoffee wrote: »If she did have past issues with eating such as a history with puking, why on Earth would her family say things like are you gonna puke that later?? That's more mean than saying that if she doesn't have a problem!
No it could be a way for them to get their concern out over an uncomfortable situation. But again not enough information to continue this.
Like seriously, I think they don't get healthy eating because even when Im around them and get hungry and eat a fruit or some whole grain cereal they start to tease me and make jokes about it, is funny because I know that if I was eating a chocolate bar or some cookies they wouldn't even blink an eye.0 -
From way out here, it sounds like you might come off as a bit annoyingly obsessive about it....and also that your family are kind of jerky to you about it.
If you don't feel like dealing with your family, don't go. The fact that this lunch is more on your list for cancellation than fro-yo with some buds? Speaks volumes.
If you do want to go, eat a small plate of whatever you find "heavy," and nosh on some veg. (They'll serve salad with the pasta too, right?) If you get flack, say, "I'm going out with BF for a pasta feast tonight and don't want to spoil my appetite." Don't mention your macros, etc, nobody wants to hear it. Saving room for a dinner out will make sense to them and is not even inaccurate.0 -
From way out here, it sounds like you might come off as a bit annoyingly obsessive about it....and also that your family are kind of jerky to you about it.
If you don't feel like dealing with your family, don't go. The fact that this lunch is more on your list for cancellation than fro-yo with some buds? Speaks volumes.
If you do want to go, eat a small plate of whatever you find "heavy," and nosh on some veg. (They'll serve salad with the pasta too, right?) If you get flack, say, "I'm going out with BF for a pasta feast tonight and don't want to spoil my appetite." Don't mention your macros, etc, nobody wants to hear it. Saving room for a dinner out will make sense to them and is not even inaccurate.
at least my friends are more supportive on my goals than my actual family, they always encourage me to keep training and eat the healthiest possible, Im bringing my food scale with me with them and they are more than ok with it because they support me and my decisions. On the other hand my family is always bringing up this theme to try to put me down, they don't even talk to me about anything else in those reunions, so I would go and feel awkward, and then attacked by their jokes, I just don't get it... why can't they support my goals and move on and even talk to me about something else?0 -
The choices I see are:
1. Go and bring a dish to share. Don't bring a container of food just for yourself.
2. Go and quietly eat from whatever dishes are provided and ignore/laugh off comments about your eating. Practice changing the subject.
3. Don't go if you really don't enjoy being around your family. If people are mean to you or ignore you then you do not have to suffer through an event just because you are related.0 -
mikkielias wrote: »From way out here, it sounds like you might come off as a bit annoyingly obsessive about it....and also that your family are kind of jerky to you about it.
If you don't feel like dealing with your family, don't go. The fact that this lunch is more on your list for cancellation than fro-yo with some buds? Speaks volumes.
If you do want to go, eat a small plate of whatever you find "heavy," and nosh on some veg. (They'll serve salad with the pasta too, right?) If you get flack, say, "I'm going out with BF for a pasta feast tonight and don't want to spoil my appetite." Don't mention your macros, etc, nobody wants to hear it. Saving room for a dinner out will make sense to them and is not even inaccurate.
at least my friends are more supportive on my goals than my actual family, they always encourage me to keep training and eat the healthiest possible, Im bringing my food scale with me with them and they are more than ok with it because they support me and my decisions. On the other hand my family is always bringing up this theme to try to put me down, they don't even talk to me about anything else in those reunions, so I would go and feel awkward, and then attacked by their jokes, I just don't get it... why can't they support my goals and move on and even talk to me about something else?
You are going out with your bf and friends tonight to a restaurant and you are bringing your food scale? Blindly supporting obsessive behavior is not good0 -
I would just bring my own food because i do not think my family would care that much or even really notice haha0
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I agree with @Lounmoun to bring a dish to share. When I was a vegetarian, I was at the time married and my husbands unit held bbq's all the time, nearly every weekend in summer. I would just bring something to share, that way I knew there would be at least one thing I could comfortably eat, without making it obvious / topic of conversation that I brought food just for myself.
At first, the others teased me or would say "oh you can eat the salad" but when I started bringing a dish, they were like, dang, you actually eat real food? This is good! And the jokes stopped. They were too busy stuffing their face with my tofu eggrolls LOL0 -
Whenever I go to family things, I know there is going to be a lot cheesy, fried, buttery Italian goodness, I eat a few cups of steamed veggies before hand. Then, I don't show up hungry, I can eat enough that no one notices I am not eating much, and it is a win win.0
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GiveMeCoffee wrote: »mikkielias wrote: »From way out here, it sounds like you might come off as a bit annoyingly obsessive about it....and also that your family are kind of jerky to you about it.
If you don't feel like dealing with your family, don't go. The fact that this lunch is more on your list for cancellation than fro-yo with some buds? Speaks volumes.
If you do want to go, eat a small plate of whatever you find "heavy," and nosh on some veg. (They'll serve salad with the pasta too, right?) If you get flack, say, "I'm going out with BF for a pasta feast tonight and don't want to spoil my appetite." Don't mention your macros, etc, nobody wants to hear it. Saving room for a dinner out will make sense to them and is not even inaccurate.
at least my friends are more supportive on my goals than my actual family, they always encourage me to keep training and eat the healthiest possible, Im bringing my food scale with me with them and they are more than ok with it because they support me and my decisions. On the other hand my family is always bringing up this theme to try to put me down, they don't even talk to me about anything else in those reunions, so I would go and feel awkward, and then attacked by their jokes, I just don't get it... why can't they support my goals and move on and even talk to me about something else?
You are going out with your bf and friends tonight to a restaurant and you are bringing your food scale? Blindly supporting obsessive behavior is not good
Yes I am bringing it with me, you might not know but Im preparing, Im competing on 3 weeks, bikini fitness0 -
Taking a food scale to a restaraunt does sound OTT to me.
Re the family event, I agree with the take a low calorie dish to share, eat small amounts of other food, smile and nod at jokes without engaging.
And perhaps do consider whether family has a point - maybe they don't but consider it.
Or don't go if you really don't want to go, if they are really such jerks.
But don't go because they are jerks is different to don't go because you won't hit your macros for the day.0 -
Food should not come before family. It's a reunion; it doesn't happen often so just let go a little on the strict dieting. Even it out the next day if you must. That and think about how they would feel seeing one person eat their own stuff they brought from home? It's a mini insult and they'll just stare at you and probably see you as really up tight. If you really don't want to eat it, then I guess it's better to not eat at all or just not go. Just my opinion.0
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paperpudding wrote: »Taking a food scale to a restaraunt does sound OTT to me.
Re the family event, I agree with the take a low calorie dish to share, eat small amounts of other food, smile and nod at jokes without engaging.
And perhaps do consider whether family has a point - maybe they don't but consider it.
Or don't go if you really don't want to go, if they are really such jerks.
But don't go because they are jerks is different to don't go because you won't hit your macros for the day.
I wasn't taking the food scale to the restaurant, I took it with me to the frozen yogurt place. I don't know if you´ve read it but Im on peeping, competing on bikini fitness into 3 weeks0 -
Don't they weigh your fro-yo to price it, anyway?
And, seriously, just start telling your family that you are saving room for a big dinner out. Even people who are into it don't want to hear about your macros for the day. Don't make a production number about your eating habits, just serve yourself the foods and portion sizes that you want and move on. If people are watching you eat and giving unsolicited comments, then they need to learn to keep their eyes on their own plate. But, really, don't fuel their rudeness by talking about your whys and wherefores. Just give them some basic answers like, "I'm all set, thanks," or "I've already got my plate, thanks." or an odd, non-committal "yes, this does look good!" (even if that isn't remotely an answer to what they just said...they won't know what to do with that.) Puking comments should get a shocked, "Oh, no! If I had the flu, I'd be home in bed! I certainly hope you don't think that I'd come here contagious with a stomach bug!"
By not getting into it with them, you'll take away all their fun in picking at you. And, seriously, even non-jerks will enjoy a change of conversation.0 -
I think it boils down to this: do you enjoy being with your family? Then figure out a way to make it work.
Maybe make fun of yourself with them.
I have found that sometimes making fun of yourself makes others stop and think how bad it sounds - seriously. People like to put others down but they don't like hearing people put themselves down (how weird is that, right?)
If you don't enjoy the time with the family and don't want to do the reunion this year, then don't torture yourself and go. I have not seen any members of my father's side of the family since 2005 when he died...I don't even know if any of them are still alive anymore. I don't miss them. Almost all of my mom's side of the family is either dead or so far removed that we don't know each other anymore either. One segment of my mom's side chooses to never include me in anything even though they only live an hour away...so I made peace with that too....I have other friends whom I love way more than that pseudo family...
I'm closer and have better relationships with my husband's family that lives 1000 miles away and to my brother's family that lives 3000 miles away...rofl...I have 2 cousins whom I recently met & like to get together with....and that's it.
Family...for some it's the most important thing, and for others...friends are way better. I wouldn't choose to be with people who upset me or make me feel like crap just because they are "family." I choose to be with people who make me happy. Life is too short.0 -
taraskylit wrote: »Are you competing?
Do you get money for dieting?
Can you not fit the food into your calories/macros?
I would be weary about your relationship with food.
A family event is amazing, cherish it.
^^^This^^^^
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I'd eat most of my 'own' food before I went to the reunion, then just take a very small portion of whatever comes close to fitting your plan. If/when anyone makes a comment, I'd just say - I got hungry a couple of hours (or whatever) ago so had something to eat & not very hungry now. A snack in your purse or car to be munched on discretely wouldn't hurt anything either.
Hope you enjoy the time with your family! There's always the concept of 'Today is being with you all, not about the food, right?'
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mikkielias wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »mikkielias wrote: »Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
Thoughts on this?
If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?
because I have this family lunch and then Im going to eat some frozen yogurt with friends and have a dinner with my boyfriend and already planed on having pasta there because we are going to an italian restaurant.
You didn't have any problems fitting plans in with your friends or boyfriend, just your family. I think it's the people you have a problem with not the food.
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Its all happened? I could see both sides. The food scale is a bit ott, but id do what overall would be best for me. Im quite big on focus and chilling out. I wouldnt have a problem attending and eating a small portion, id find it easy just to ignore any unhelpful comments.
In the other hand if you take your own food thats fine as well (bearing in mind the worry and stress missing it seems to cause you), but id explain it to the cook so they know it was something I was long term focused on and wasnt insulting them. Its about you exercising your personal choice. Lifes too short to have to worry about these things, make the choice and just do it. Plenty of good advice above how to diplomatically fend off the family comments. They wont change and its wasted effort arguing it out. As long as its healthy then do what makes you happy.0 -
But, really, don't fuel their rudeness by talking about your whys and wherefores. Just give them some basic answers like, "I'm all set, thanks," or "I've already got my plate, thanks." or an odd, non-committal "yes, this does look good!" (even if that isn't remotely an answer to what they just said...they won't know what to do with that.) Puking comments should get a shocked, "Oh, no! If I had the flu, I'd be home in bed! I certainly hope you don't think that I'd come here contagious with a stomach bug!"
I do this all the time...and it's true, people just look confused, or assume I am, and then move on to something else LoL! Its not for the reasons she has here though. I have this weird thing about eating food thats sitting out with people breathing all over it...ever since I was a kid.
So I range from "that looks delicious!" to start, to "Oh yes, I had that, it was delicious!" near the end ..whatever. This really does work lol0 -
I see no problem with you bringing you own food. I have similar family members that say hurtful things to me about my weight but they more make comments about how big I am. Actually just last weekend I went to go see my parents and I forgot to eat before I went to their house and when I got there I started eating and my mom made the, "Shouldn't you be eating a salad? Rice has a lot of carbs you shouldn't be eating that." Kind of comments and I was actually under my calories for the day! I told myself I would always eat myself stuffed before I go there again so I don't hear those comments.
Does your family know you have a competition coming up?! I feel like they should be a lot more supportive!
Best of luck in your competition btw.
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Family...for some it's the most important thing, and for others...friends are way better. I wouldn't choose to be with people who upset me or make me feel like crap just because they are "family." I choose to be with people who make me happy. Life is too short.
I completely agree with this.
Why put up with people behaving so poorly to you that they would constantly tease you when you don't have to? It really doesn't matter if they're "family" or not IMO.0 -
I bring my own stuff to family functions, I don't eat meat and I don't eat what they eat. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.0
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So what did you end up doing OP?0
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christinev297 wrote: »OP losing weight should not be this difficult, and it definitely shouldn't interfere with family time.
No, don't bring your own different food to a lunch you have been invited to...
Losing weight is also about learning how to interact with others and how to survive social situations for the rest of your life. Are you planning to skip family reunions for the rest of your life? If not, then you need to learn how to handle them. Go to the reunion and don't bring your own lunch. Eat just a little bit (or nothing) if you can't figure out a way to fit some of the provided food in, and then get something afterward. Throw a granola bar or piece of fruit in your purse if you think you really need to have some of your own food with you.
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It's just one day. One day eating over or under your macros isn't going to change your body. In my opinion, you shouldn't bring your own food. Enjoy the day. It's a special occasion and you can go back to your usual routine the next day.
When I started bringing my own food to events, not going because I didn't want to eat food with unknown exact nutritional info, and measuring/weighing every little crumb of food that went into my mouth, I knew I had a problem.0 -
mikkielias wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »mikkielias wrote: »Hey, so tomorrow I have a family reunion, it is supposed to be a lunch and I´m not sure on what they going to serve. But it´s provably going to be pasta, some kind of ravioli with a walnut sauce or a tomato one. I have been very careful with my diet and hitting my macros. I already planed my day for tomorrow and I don't want to ruin it. I don't know if I should just skip this reunion (because my family doesn't support me on my goals, they always make fun of me and my diet and think that I only eat salads (*kitten* please! I almost eat 230 grams of carbs a day!) or should I just pack my lunch and bring it with me?
Thoughts on this?
If you eat 230g of carbs a day, I'm surprised you can't just work pasta for lunch into your macros? That being said it depends on whether you're really bothered about attending the reunion in the first place?
because I have this family lunch and then Im going to eat some frozen yogurt with friends and have a dinner with my boyfriend and already planed on having pasta there because we are going to an italian restaurant.
Oh come on. Go someplace else for dinner or get the chicken.0
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