It's so hard to wait for physical changes

It can be hard. I try to stick to knowing I am making changes even if it's not noticeable to everyone. YOU know you are changing and that is all that is important.

As far as people asking such inappropriate/prying questions, I think it was on these forums I saw someone say they responded to such rudeness by saying "did you mean to be so rude?"

Ms. Manners addressed inappropriate questions in one of her colums and it has stuck with me. I have used it, and it works. "An icy 'I beg your pardon?' and look directly at that person and wait for their responce." Or if you are feeling slightly evil, you could ask them an inappropriate question (how much do you weigh, have you lost all your hair or is that a wig, ect). If they get offended, say 'I thought we were asking rude questions today" . Not the best for p.r., but effective. BTW, the 2nd one is NOT what Ms. Manners said, just something that I did when I was pregnate and strangers asked if they could touch my stomach. (I was cranky when I was prego...lol.)

Either way, YOU know you are making progress and should be proud of yourself!

I never see my progress in the mirror. It has to be pointed out to me. I wouldn't be aware of it now if my pants weren't falling off me. That's how oblivious I am, I guess.

barbecuesauce wrote: »

missuswells wrote: »

Yet another day of someone asking me if I'm pregnant. Reaaaally getting sick of that one.

I'm making changes, but it goes very slow. I never used to have to work at being skinny; I just was. Now I'm older, sicker, and married to an overeater. I know that I CAN learn to exercise regularly and stop eating so much junk.

But how do you deal with the crushing sadness of not being able to SHOW your work for so long? The comments? Even the mirror. I just feel defeated. It wont stop me from doing what I need to do.

I think weight loss is just thankless work, until one day you've lost 50 lbs and then suddenly everyone says, wow! You dont get many 'wow's' for not eating that pint of ice cream today. lol

I think you need a reason to work out, fitness goals in addition to your weight loss goals. What can't you do that you would like to do, and what small steps do you need to do to get there? Hard to feel sad when you've got NSVs besides pants sizes happening.

Absolutely this. You have to get something out of your workouts.

When I lost 50 lbs, I started out only intending to lose 20, and lost way more because I loved what I was doing. For me it was the immediate mood lift I got from cardio (at the time, DVDs and running - which I wouldn't now advise most people to start with, got injured, but it felt great. Other cardio can do that too, though). I didn't always love doing burpees, but I loved how working out made me feel - more energized, upbeat, just alive and ready to do things. That was enough to make me want to do more.

Also, seeing my progress was motivating. At first, I couldn't make it through a lousy DVD. A month later, I was looking for something more challenging. Feeling stronger and knowing it was great.

I was ok with Jillian Michaels type of stuff because I liked how it reminded me of calisthenics in gym class, lol, but if you're not enjoying your workouts, pick something you'll really like. The scale and the clothes might not shift the way you expect, so you need to find something about the process to hook into.

My experience is that the more you lose, the more people start noticing. I've lost 55 lbs (a year ago), and people were really commenting me about that. But when I lost 20 lbs people already started noticing. Or at least they stopped telling me that I must've been eating a lot lately .

Every pound you lose is more noticable. Think of it like an onion. The outer layer is very big, if you remove it the onion ('s radius) becomes smaller. The next layer is significantly smaller, but if you remove it the onion ('s radius) is reduced by the same amount.

That can also be a strong motivation. The first pounds are easier to lose, later it becomes more of a challenge.

My advice would be to concentrate less on your appearance, and more on your health. The physical changes will come eventually! I'm really looking forward to when I see a difference in myself, and I would be a liar if I said that that wasn't part of the reason I started. But what keeps me going is just the fact that I feel better, despite only being ten days in. I have more energy and I don't feel sorry for myself because I know I'm trying to make changes. I'm not eating junk food as often, so I don't feel sluggish and bloated. I know that, every time I work out, I'm taking a step in the right direction for my health, and that makes me happy. If you're watching what you eat and exercising, you're improving your health, and that's much more important.

Every time I feel discouraged I just think "if I stick to it you will look different this time next year"