Binge eating once a week

DerekVTX wrote: »

Way to go people, telling this lady she needs to gain weight. Maybe stick to answering the question. 110 lbs may be ideal for her body. Why is it okay to tell people that they are too underweight but not okay to tell people that they are overweight?

Because 110 ISN'T ideal for her body??

The White Knight thing is cute but misplaced. Her stats are 5'5", 109. BMI 18.1 = underweight.

My point is why is it okay to tell people they are underweight but not okay to tell people they are overweight. Either way the result can be unwanted comments on ones body type. I'm not trying to be a "White Knight", but fact of the matter is some of these comments are quite rude. My wife heard this all of her life at 5'6 and 100 to 110 lbs and she eats like a horse (Lots of junk food too). After two kids she weighs 120 now, she just has a very small frame. And by the way at 100 lbs she was very athletic with a 6 pack.

DerekVTX, let me address a few things you mentioned, in the hope we can keep having a good discussion on this thread.

If you're upset by my posts, please know my intention was never to be rude, nor to go off topic. I am new to this site and to losing weight a healthy way, but I am not new to binge eating, being overweight, and being underweight, nor am I new to eating disorders. I know off-handed comments about weight, even with good intentions, can stick with you for days and days.

I'd hoped my comments were as supportive and encouraging as could be, offering personal insight and different ideas and options, but also cautioning the OP to gut-check what I'm saying and to consult a professional b/c I am still gaining experience with healthy and safe ways to lose weight. One of the other posters even pointed out a better option to get healthy weight calculations and I admitted I was incorrect in reading the online calculator. I hope I didn't cause the OP any panic or distress! As I said, I don't know the OP's BMI, her bone density, her activity level. I do know that being 109lbs at 5'5" is pretty thin, even if it is near the safe zone of 111lbs. Seeing her worry about binging and about gaining weight really struck a chord with me. Telling her she's underweight and it could affect her metabolism negatively in the long run was my attempt to both tell her the truth and to make her feel "comfortable" with allowing herself to eat more, and exercise not to lose weight but to gain strength. She could safely put on another 40lbs and still be just as beautiful as she is in her icon today. But sometimes it's really hard to allow yourself to believe it is okay to eat more; sometimes you've got this voice inside you telling you that you've got to get thinner, be smaller, take up less space--and that's a voice that needs to be silenced with permission to eat.

I say all this not so much as to defend my position as to try and better communicate my intentions with my posts--I promise you, I don't agree with body shaming and if I made anyone feel bad by using words like "underweight" or "survival-mode" and whatnot, I am really sorry, I didn't mean to trigger. Everyone is unique, everyone's body is unique--all we can do is reply with universal guidelines based on the limited information we are given, and support each other.

But I do thank you for raising awareness; it is important that we not make generalizations without all the facts and that we be sensitive when talking about people's weight, whether over or under. I will sincerely work harder on that.

Peace to all.