Used to have an eating disorder. Now trying to lose weight healthily. Help!

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beccam83
beccam83 Posts: 51 Member
Hiya. So I used to have severe bulimia, for about three years. With the help of therapy and a lot of hard work I've overcome this. Over the course of the disorder I lost 65lbs (170lbs-105) but, as you might guess, I was miserable. This involved extreme exercise (which I despised) and a lot of trouble keeping anything down. Luckily I had an amazing group of friends and family who never gave up on me and helped me see that life is not all about obsession.

As I recovered I came back up to 130lbs (58kg) which I was happy and comfortable with. I am 5"4.

Since then I have put on an extra 20lbs, which puts me at a BMI of 25.2 (overweight). I would like to get fitter and lose a little bit of weight again, but honestly I'm a bit frightened of it.

Is anyone else experiencing something similar? Where should I even start?

Thanks!

Replies

  • kaym0502
    kaym0502 Posts: 12 Member
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    For starter, good for you for overcoming such a tough battle! I have had 2 friends with EDs and it changed their lives and relationships with others negatively. One has successfully overcome it as well.

    I personally just started this app (4 days ago) and have been encouraged by Cassey Ho. My goal is to get down to my old weight and lose 40lbs. Now I cannot speak from experience yet since it is all too fresh for me but her blogilates website is awesome! her videos are motivating, and she just seems cool.
    On her website, she has meal plans available for clean eating, she has before and after pics of followers and their success stories of what they did(both to gain or lose weight), she has monthly workout plans available to print, recipes, an app, and loads of you tube videos of Pilates. You can just google Cassey Ho and find all sorts of good things.

    I have a terrible history of sticking to things, but she is my motivator and all her resources are so helpful. This info may not be of interest or useful but its worth looking into.

    Again, good for you in making the decision to lose the healthy way! Beat wishes, dear!
  • beccam83
    beccam83 Posts: 51 Member
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    Hey Kay, thank you so much for your kind words!! Your friends must be lucky to have you, good luck to them. Beating an ED can be done!

    I'll have a look at the website - anything that will help me stick to something without giving up or, alternatively, going overboard with it.

    We can do it :)
  • SyzygyX
    SyzygyX Posts: 189 Member
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    I would definitely recommend doing your best to find a qualified doctor or collection of doctors to help you with this--your GP, a nutritionist, a therapist, etc. as someone who can support you with both the physical effort and the mental challenges that might occur. My biggest concern would be that your dieting would quickly/easily slide back into disordered eating, so having a support group of both friends/family AND professionals is a good :smile:
  • beccam83
    beccam83 Posts: 51 Member
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    SyzygyX wrote: »
    I would definitely recommend doing your best to find a qualified doctor or collection of doctors to help you with this--your GP, a nutritionist, a therapist, etc. as someone who can support you with both the physical effort and the mental challenges that might occur. My biggest concern would be that your dieting would quickly/easily slide back into disordered eating, so having a support group of both friends/family AND professionals is a good :smile:

    Hey, thanks for answering lovely. I guess I'm worried for two reasons:
    1) that I'll go back to my nutritionist and it'll be embarrassing that I've put on so much weight
    or 2) I'll go back to her and she'll say that I'm healthy and don't need any help

    Both of which I consistently got (from professionals sometimes) while I was ill.

    But I'll get my boyfriend on board and maybe we can check each other. :) thanks for the advice!! Everyone's so lovely on here.
  • Rlavigne93
    Rlavigne93 Posts: 119 Member
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    Well you're off to a good start! I've found just staying active on the message boards here helps a lot. I had some problems with purging for a while, but I just try to keep in the mindset of "food is fuel." Trying to keep a positive mindset about eating and nutrition really helps me keep on track, and reminding myself that I want to be HEALTHY, not just thin.

    Plus I follow a lot of those positive inspiration blogs and they seem to help. Finding people who have similar issues or goals helps remind me I'm not alone, and there's no judgement.
  • beccam83
    beccam83 Posts: 51 Member
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    Rlavigne93 wrote: »
    Well you're off to a good start! I've found just staying active on the message boards here helps a lot. I had some problems with purging for a while, but I just try to keep in the mindset of "food is fuel." Trying to keep a positive mindset about eating and nutrition really helps me keep on track, and reminding myself that I want to be HEALTHY, not just thin.

    Plus I follow a lot of those positive inspiration blogs and they seem to help. Finding people who have similar issues or goals helps remind me I'm not alone, and there's no judgement.

    ahh thank you for messaging! Sorry to hear you've had some trouble with that. Food is definitely fuel and I've learnt the hard way you are going to ruin your life if you don't respect yourself and your body. (If you ever would like to message about it I'd love to talk).

    What kind of positive blogs do you follow? Body positivity and stuff like that?
  • hollyboremaly
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    I used to struggle with eating enough and now thanks to MFP and my accountability friends have been consistently eating and feeling great. Anyone can feel free to add me. Keep plugging! This community is wonderful.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    You are barely overweight at 150 lbs and 5'4".

    No reputable psychiatrist or psychologist will support you losing weight because of your history with bulimia.
  • andreamaym
    andreamaym Posts: 179 Member
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    I used MFP to help me change my relationship with food and gain weight after a relapse 3 years ago (as a teenager I struggled with both bulimia and anorexia). I don't think anyone with a history of EDs should focus on losing weight. Stay away from the scale, and focus on nourishing your body and moving it. The rest will come.
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    You are barely overweight at 150 lbs and 5'4".

    No reputable psychiatrist or psychologist will support you losing weight because of your history with bulimia.

    I was 5'7" and weighed 150lbs when my therapist said one whole banana was too much for breakfast.

    I've had EDNOS for 17 years, and had a mini relapse last month. The best thing that seems to work is having a few friends struggling with eating issues. Them talking about their depression and how bent out of shape they get when they 'binge' really keeps me eating all of my calories and working out since I remember those feelings, and it's a feeling I want to avoid.
    It could be triggering having friends like that, but every person's struggle is their own.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    My_Butt wrote: »
    You are barely overweight at 150 lbs and 5'4".

    No reputable psychiatrist or psychologist will support you losing weight because of your history with bulimia.

    I was 5'7" and weighed 150lbs when my therapist said one whole banana was too much for breakfast.

    I've had EDNOS for 17 years, and had a mini relapse last month. The best thing that seems to work is having a few friends struggling with eating issues. Them talking about their depression and how bent out of shape they get when they 'binge' really keeps me eating all of my calories and working out since I remember those feelings, and it's a feeling I want to avoid.
    It could be triggering having friends like that, but every person's struggle is their own.

    Therapists aren't qualified to give nutritional advice. You need to see a registered dietitian for that.
  • hilbertgirl
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    I have found that the only person who knows your body and what it needs is you. You have lived in it for years and it is unique from every other one that your doctor/nutritionist/therapist has seen. Once the underlying issues causing the eating disorder are solved you have to learn to listen to...and trust!!! your own body. A banana for breakfast is not too much and you should never see that person again! Feel things out. If you have a banana and some Greek yogurt for breakfast and feel good and are losing weight then to hell with the "professionals". Friend me for support.
    Much love

  • hilbertgirl
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    andreamaym wrote: »
    I used MFP to help me change my relationship with food and gain weight after a relapse 3 years ago (as a teenager I struggled with both bulimia and anorexia). I don't think anyone with a history of EDs should focus on losing weight. Stay away from the scale, and focus on nourishing your body and moving it. The rest will come.

  • hilbertgirl
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    This is great advice. The scale is dangerous for anyone who has ever had an ED. Know your limits and what your triggers are
  • beccam83
    beccam83 Posts: 51 Member
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    This is great advice. The scale is dangerous for anyone who has ever had an ED. Know your limits and what your triggers are

    Agreed, I understand where Fatfreefrolicking is coming from above but I do know my triggers and my own body... I'm only letting myself weigh or measure once a week, and I'm finally focusing on the nutrients part rather than just the calories! Thanks for the add x