Your denial and excuses story
judiness101
Posts: 119 Member
One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
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Replies
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I always knew I was big, and I never really made excuses for that. I knew I ate a lot of food and I was logical enough about it to know that that was why I was fat. At the beginning of university, I was 220 pounds on a 5'6" frame. I didn't need a wake-up call to know I wasn't healthy.
I TOTALLY believed the starvation mode thing once I started dieting, though. I would put myself on a restrictive 1200 calorie/day diet (or so I thought), lose a bunch of weight, and then stall. And at that point, I was so sick of eating nothing but lettuce and bran flakes, so I'd tell myself that I needed to "boost" my metabolism by eating lots and lots of high fat food for a few days. Which would turn into a few weeks, then a few months, and then I'd be back almost to where I started, and would start the whole process over again.0 -
I am a substance abuse therapist so I tend to think of this as similar to relapse "justifications". The things that people tell themselves in order to make them think it is ok to drink or use drugs.
So mine for food were things like, "it's a special occasion so I can have this 1/2 a cake". Or "look at all these other people eating junk food and they're thin-I should be able to eat junk food too". Or " I'm getting old- it's normal for people to pick up weight when they are old". Or even, "I'll start watching what I eat tomorrow, on Monday, or next week". Or "I've had three kids!" I've got a million of them.0 -
at my biggest i didn't own a scale. all my girlfriends were on the heavy side and i was still probably the smallest...so it was easy to say i was ok. then i wen't on a scale...and at 215 i realized i was no where near ok. i had been stalled at 170 for a few years now. self induced stall i was no longer trying, but i wouldn't allow myself to get over 175. it was easy at this point to say oh im so much better than i was, or im healthier than i was, im pretty good. finally i kicked myself in the butt and say why settle for something less than the best i can be? and now i am at 160 and determined to get to a healthy bmi. anything past that is bonus!0
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I still have trouble with fat denial and have a variety of things I tell myself to reinforce it. I don't feel fat. I don't have any health problems. My clothes are in the single digits. I'm not weak or frail and I don't have problems with physical work. I look pretty darn good for a grandma. Women my age just naturally weigh more than when they were younger. And on and on.0
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When I got rid of the excuses/lies that I told myself, I started losing weight:
-"I carry the weight well. No one ever thinks that I weigh as much as I do."
- "I have a large frame" (actually I might, I really don't know. It's still not an excuse for me to be over 200lbs on a 5'3" frame, no matter the size)
- "I was never thin when I was a teen, so its impossible for me to do it now" <-- this was the biggest thing that stood in my way0 -
I was never in denial about my weight. I always knew I was chubby, but I just didn't care enough to do something about it.
A weird situation sparked my motivation to lose weight.
I met my half-sister, and she looked stunning! She was in great shape. I figured, that if she is related to me, then there is no reason why I can't look like her.
Fast forward 2,5 years, 22 kilos down, and we pretty much have the same body right now. I'm just a little more skinnyfat than I would like to be, which is why my new goal right now is to lower my bodyfat % and build some muscle.0 -
I was never in denial. For the majority of my adult life I've been pretty average, but when I hit 37/38 I started packing on the pounds and not being very active. I was trying to be one of those "Real women have curves" type of women and was acting like my thickness didn't bother me when it really did.
I saw a photo of myself when my son graduated high school and I was moritifed and decided that "real women" can be healthy and fit too.
65 pounds down and only 6 pounds away from my high school weight
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When I was depressed I didn't realize how much weight I put on. My biggest excuse was that I didn't have time to workout. Also, in my teens and early 20's I was bulimic. I was afraid if I started watching what I eat that I would revert to my binge/ purging habits.0
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Mine wasn't so much a straight out denial as it was a round about one. I got to my heaviest (almost 200 on a 5'3 petite frame) when I was 9 months prego with my daughter. Everyone tells you how easy it is to lose while bfing...I lost 30 lbs right out of the hospital then gained back 10 in 6 months while bfing! My main thing I'd tell myself was that I didn't understand how I wasn't losing weight. I'm pretty sure I was being purposefully blind to what I was eating. Then I started using mfp and lost 40 lbs in 2 years. Now it's happened again over this winter where I was 20ish away from my goal and I've gained almost 6 lbs since nov, but again I've willfully turned the blind eye! Now I've actually opened and started using my food scale and I'm ready to finish this before baby #2 at the end of this summer. I want to be a good example for my little bubs so she doesn't deal with the internal and external weight struggles I have.
And btw, awesome thread! It's very comforting seeing I'm not the only one who struggles the internal weight battle.0 -
judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??0 -
Oh and FYI, not currently pregnant. Hoping to get pregnant with #2 at the end of the summer0
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blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
Not for people with an actual condition like hypoglycemia or diabetes, but some people use that as an excuse for the constant snacking.
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judiness101 wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
Not for people with an actual condition like hypoglycemia or diabetes, but some people use that as an excuse for the constant snacking.
This. My husband snacks all the time and claims he needs to due to blood sugar. He doesn't, he just likes to snack.
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judiness101 wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
Not for people with an actual condition like hypoglycemia or diabetes, but some people use that as an excuse for the constant snacking.
haha. ok. i was going to say..i guess hypoglycemia was my excuse.
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blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
I actually have low blood pressure. Which also means I need to eat often just like low blood sugar. That doesn't mean I can overeat. I used to snack on candy and soda. My snacks are now small, and they don't break my calorie bank.
Well,
They should be.
But I don't like snacking anymore.
Don't tell my doctor. Lol.
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SingRunTing wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
Not for people with an actual condition like hypoglycemia or diabetes, but some people use that as an excuse for the constant snacking.
This. My husband snacks all the time and claims he needs to due to blood sugar. He doesn't, he just likes to snack.
Hmmmm. Are we married to the same man? Bigamist jerk.
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I don't make excuses for anything. I simply own it. If I overeat I'll beat myself up about it and get angry with myself but I don't attribute that to anything but my overeating, that's it. Why? because I over ate! Plain and simple. Not because it was my birthday or because of stress or because food was jammed down my throat but simply because I ate too much. That's the reason why I gain weight.....period.0
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At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit? Yep
What were your go to excuses to be that way? I didn't have any excuses. I just didn't really care.
What popular myths were your go to? None. This is my first time trying to lose weight. I kept an open mind, read a lot of stuff and asked a lot of questions.0 -
no - I knew I was overweight. But I wasn't concerned about it. My excuses? I was happy with who I was, my health was good. Which is true - I'm fortunate that my cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. has always been good. But ultimately I figured out I wasn't so happy with Me - in terms of what I could/couldn't do. I didn't like being worn out from little bursts of activity. Did not like getting major thigh rub burn walking around a water park for a summer afternoon either!judiness101 wrote: »At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
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oh and p.s. as far as denial, my family and friends do not think I'm fat at all. In fact they wonder why I'm constantly counting calories and concerned about what I eat. I could easily use that to deny my weight. At the end of the day I'm the one who does not feel good naked in front of a mirror. So no, I've never been in denial either.0
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At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?----> Yes, I realized I had gained alot of weight when I saw pictures of myself and my favourite jeans no longer went past my thighs!
What were your go to excuses to be that way?----> I blamed it on the birth control pills I had started taking, the fact that I had quit smoking, the new desk job and my depression when in reality I was just eating all the wrong foods and not taking care of myself.
What popular myths were your go to? ---->none. I've always known what it takes to be healthier and fit, I've just never taken the initiative to take care of myself.0 -
I was always a slightly chubby kid, always a curvy/chubby teenager, onward as an adult. I kind of just believed that was my body type, as I'm built similarly to my mom... The thing is that she was fairly slim until menopause, and I've always been like this. My sister and I have really different builds, I joke that she an elf and I'm a hobbit. I got stuck thinking that this was just what adulthood would be like for me.
When I was pregnant a couple years ago, I was really proud of myself for having a healthy, moderate weight gain. The problem was after when I used breastfeeding as an excuse to eat as much as I wanted of everything... Sometimes eating twice as much as my husband, who is 8 inches taller than me and has an active job. I kept saying "I'm just not one of those women that lose weight breastfeeding".
It was my "wake up call" that my son is turning 2 in a few months, and I've been at my full term pregnant weight since a few months after he was born. I decided to take control and not blame environment or genetics for my out of control eating habits.
[Edited because words are hard
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Back as a teen/young adult, I was skinny. SKINNY-skinny. But also very muscular. I could bale hay and toss it 10' up into the loft and keep up with the best of the guys. Also very.... well-endowed. I weighed 125 lbs at 5'-7"... no idea of BF% but it had to be VERY low (you could bounce quarters off my abs) and mostly in my boobs.
I still had people call me fat.
So that was my excuse: I'd be called fat anyway, so why bother worrying about it?
After kiddo was born, I didn't lose the baby fat. It just kept getting worse and worse. Had to sell the horses which made it even worse. I just kept telling myself it didn't matter. But then I started getting the 'bad health' symptoms starting. At that point I started seeing myself as unfit. Got a horse again and realized just *how* unfit I'd gotten, and decided to fix that.
Still figure people are gunna call me fat or just judge anyway (now I'm getting 'too skinny' comments, lol), but it's no longer an excuse for anything except being comfortable in my own skin, and healthy.
The only popular myth I believed at first was certain foods being 'bad' for you. Quickly learned all that mentality got was a bunch of binging and/or feeling bad/sick/hungry all the time!0 -
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit? Not most of the time. I had a kind of final realization of my unfit/obese state after a few incidents in the last year.
What were your go to excuses to be that way? I don't eat as much as other people and I don't eat packages of cookies or bags of chips so I am okay. I don't like to exercise so I don't need to do it.
What popular myths were your go to? Weight loss is hard. You have to do weird or extreme things to lose weight.
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I was ill for 6 months but managed to avoid returning to the gym properly for two years after that. its true what they say about making and breaking habits.0
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I was never in denial about being fat, I was in denial about what it took to lose weight and keep it off. I made a lot of excuses for eating too much. I tried every type of diet out there looking for the magic solution. There were none, there are none. I was fat until I was 40 when I'd had enough. I lost about 70 pounds and kept most of it off for quite awhile, but my weight still went up and down, until I had gained about 30 back over five years. My weight was always in the overweight range even though I'd lost all that weight.
Two years ago I decided to start logging again, then learned how to weigh food, account for exercise burns, and flash forward to now: I'm 44 pound lighter and I have been maintaining for over a year.
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I know why I initially gained so much weight so fast, and I know why I kept it on then added more.
I knew I was very overweight, but I avoided scales and really did not know I had gained as much more as I had. Finally getting on the scales was a 50 pound shocker (in addition to the pounds I already knew I was over....) Being tall, it spreads around more, so as my weight went up, my clothing size really didn't (again, after I was already wearing much larger sizes).
I also have low blood pressure - runs in the family. Even being so overweight, my highest blood pressure readings were what is normal for most. But, because of that, I really do have to make sure I eat and I can't go low on carbs (don't want to anyway LOL). It was never an excuse to overeat though.
I did work a job where I'd be starving once I got off in the evening and I used that as an excuse to eat all the wrong things and way too many calories thinking, it's evening and I've blown it anyway by being hungry this late in the day. Logging and seeing when and where I'm weakest and then fixing that has cured that issue for me.0 -
blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
Muh sugahs ... I gots to keeps muh sugahs up ... om nom nom nom ...
Yeah. It is a giant excuse for folks.
You don't need to eat half a cake, the whole pint of ice cream, and a snickers bar to up your sugars. About a third of the snickers would have done it. Or a slice of bread. Or an apple ...
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I just didn't care. I had so many other things going on that I didn't feel like I had the energy to care. I was also breastfeeding for 3 years between 2 kids and was scared to lose my milk supply (both kids have special needs and my mind was hellbent on breastfeeding because I was convinced it was vital to their development- I think it was just my way of dealing with the lack of control I felt around their diagnosis).
I convinced myself I didn't look that bad though I knew I wasn't think (5'5" and 175lbs). Prior to my first child in 2007 I had been 130lbs. I mained at 145 after she was born but then gained 50lbs with my next pregnancy. I did get back down to 150 but started working overnights, went back to school full time and stopped exercising. All that combined o gained 25lbs. I only gained 4lbs with my 3rd pregnancy and was 179 the he was born. I went down to 168 and then gained 7lbs back over the next 2 years. And that brought me to jan 1, 2015 when I realized for me to care for my children I needed to care for myself. I've lost about 20lbs and am now 154 and hope to be 140 by summer.0 -
I was in denial until I saw pictures but my excuses were my age and the fact that I had kids and my husband loved me the way I was. My myths were slow metabolism and thyroid issues.0
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