almost scared to be skinny?

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midpath
midpath Posts: 246 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know this might sound weird or stupid but it's a little intimidating for me right now. Not the process, but the result. It's easy for me to say that I would wear a bikini, but part of me feels that I still wouldn't. And when people are nice or guys flirt it's going to be hard for me not to be resentful thinking that it would've been a different story if I were still fat. I feel like by taking this journey I'm entering a brand new world where I'll be attractive and I'll be looked at as a regular person and it's scary. Anyone else have this experience? I'm 229 at 5'10". My goal is 165.

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  • crosbylee
    crosbylee Posts: 3,454 Member
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    I want to be that thin and healthy person who wears what they want and doesn't care what people think. It would be flattering to be flirted with and be able to just say thanks. I want to not think about how we sometimes get treated while we are still overweight/obese. I do understand it would be something hard to let go of, but remember you are doing this for yourself, not anyone else. I still have a long way to go myself.
  • Ellaskat
    Ellaskat Posts: 386 Member
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    It can be easy to overwhelm yourself if you think too far ahead. Instead of focusing on what you might be like 60+ pounds from now, focus on now, and on the next 5-10 pounds. If you do that, it shouldn't be so scary. It will also give you control to decide if you want to keep going, or it you want to take a break. Maybe it will make more sense for you to do little weight loss bursts, and then give your mind some time to catch up. Maybe you won't need to do that, and can just keep losing. Either way, if you're comfortable losing the next 5-10 pounds, just keep going. You're not going to wake up one day and BOOM! be in a different body. You have time to figure it out.
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    I work in the construction industry with a bunch of dudes, so I constantly have guys flirting with me. It's very flattering and nothing to worry about. Main thing guys are attracted to is a smile.
    Its really fun stopping at Goodwill (I'm a thrifty shopper) and buy all these cute outfits without feeling like I have to buy certain clothes to mask or hide areas I'm uncomfortable with. Nothing to fret about.
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,416 Member
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    It may be healthier for you to lose the weight, but there is no reason for you not to work on your self esteem now. I've weighed 132 and 209 and everything in between and I'm still just as annoyed when someone interrupts my reading to hit on me at either weight. (Because, honestly... If I was reading, I wasn't looking to be hit on. I was READING.)

    And to be honest, wearing a belly T is just as intimidating at 132 as it is at 209, but for different reasons. At 132, I worry that it's going to slide off something important that should be covered, and it's really obvious when my posture is less than perfect. At 209, I'm all sweaty, and thinking about minimizing the number of places where I am touching myself, BECAUSE CHAFING. Either way, wearing a belly T is all about me and what I feel like wearing and not about anyone who might be watching. (Because I'm still reading a book, and interrupting that for anything short of warning me that the building is on fire, much less something as trivial as liking the way my skin turned up blemish free this morning, is just irritating.)

    Lose weight for you and no one else, and feel free to be annoyed with whomever you want, but for real reasons and not because you're still judging yourself for who you have been in the past and who you might be in the future. Love all the yous and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. <3
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    midpath wrote: »
    I know this might sound weird or stupid but it's a little intimidating for me right now. Not the process, but the result. It's easy for me to say that I would wear a bikini, but part of me feels that I still wouldn't. And when people are nice or guys flirt it's going to be hard for me not to be resentful thinking that it would've been a different story if I were still fat. I feel like by taking this journey I'm entering a brand new world where I'll be attractive and I'll be looked at as a regular person and it's scary. Anyone else have this experience? I'm 229 at 5'10". My goal is 165.

    Nope. I had no problem wearing anything I wanted to wear, when I hit my maintenance weight. And, I could wear pretty much anything. Clothes were so much more fun. (Not least because designers make really ugly clothes for overweight people.)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Being attractive isn't just about being thin....
  • rejectedprincesssupportgroup
    rejectedprincesssupportgroup Posts: 16
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    My highest weight was around 300 and now I'm at about 210. People are nicer and starting to flirt, and, yeah, it's been really difficult because I've never experienced that before. I've never really been resentful about it, but it can be pretty terrifying. So I get where you're coming from. (And I don' think I will ever wear a bikini.)
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    I'm sure there are other things in your life that probably warrant worry. Don't make this one of them. Be a healthier version of you and enjoy the process.

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