ok... I'm feeling guilty

suefairy123
suefairy123 Posts: 52 Member
edited November 14 in Health and Weight Loss
As I stated in my earlier discussion today was gathering by grandma's house... I did manage to eat a little of everything and from my logs I did manage to remain in my calorie goal.. but oh boy I feel guilty..feel like crying... I have been excellent for the past 3 weeks and I felt like I failed today...
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Replies

  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    edited March 2015
    im not sure whats going on,food is nothing to feel guilty over. tomorrow is a new day
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,771 Member
    edited March 2015
    So you ate at a deficit for three weeks and then went off the rails today? Well, you're (probably) going to gain water weight, but you didn't mess it all up. You will not see real weight gain. Get back on the wagon.
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    Why? It's food, you remained within your calories, you enjoyed your family time. I don't see the failure. Are you not supposed to enjoy life anymore? :huh:
  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,649 Member
    I'd be so happy if I stayed within my calorie goal. Why are you feeling so bad?
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    Lasmartchika wrote: »
    Why? It's food, you remained within your calories, you enjoyed your family time. I don't see the failure. Are you not supposed to enjoy life anymore? :huh:

    yup
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    you ate what you wanted, and stayed in a calorie deficit…what is the problem??
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    You should be feeling proud of yourself, not guilty. Enjoying family occasions and still staying within your calorie goal is what we would call winning at life.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    You need to get over it. This is about living life and learning moderation. Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.
  • suefairy123
    suefairy123 Posts: 52 Member
    Yes of course I enjoys family time.. of course I love food... but it just dawn of me that it's very easy to go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.. maybe this why I'm feeling emotional. .. I have cheat meals ever so often..so it's to not like I'm lacking anything... bare with me guys I'm just finally seeing results so I don't want to go back....
  • Asher_Ethan
    Asher_Ethan Posts: 2,430 Member
    You're fineeeeeeeee. You aren't going to ruin 3 weeks of hard work in 1 meal.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    edited March 2015
    you need to stop viewing foods as good/bad and learn that you can eat the things you like in moderation, yes, that means ice cream, cookies, etc and balance that out with nutrient dense foods like whole grains, eggs, lean meats, vegetables, etc. Eating some treats or high calories foods does not invalidate your whole day or diet. Eat the foods you like and make sure that you hit your calorie/macro/micro goals….
  • moose_mama
    moose_mama Posts: 32 Member
    It doesn't matter WHAT you ate, it only matters that you ate in moderation, which you did! And that's great!! Even if you went over your calorie goal, just remember that one bad day won't undo all the hard work you've done so far. Great job!!! :)
  • MonoJKA
    MonoJKA Posts: 55 Member
    Lasmartchika wrote: »
    Why? It's food, you remained within your calories, you enjoyed your family time. I don't see the failure. Are you not supposed to enjoy life anymore? :huh:

    I agree with this. Food is food.
  • kindrabbit
    kindrabbit Posts: 837 Member
    Op, one day of enjoying yourself, having control of your diet and staying on track even though you had an excuse to over do it? You should be celebrating!!

    Seeing results is fabulous but I get what you mean - once you see a muscle or an angle you like, you don't want to loose it! Don't worry, you're still on track so there's no risk of that. You're doing great x
  • scottacular
    scottacular Posts: 597 Member
    suefairy123 wrote: »
    Yes of course I enjoys family time.. of course I love food... but it just dawn of me that it's very easy to go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.. maybe this why I'm feeling emotional. .. I have cheat meals ever so often..so it's to not like I'm lacking anything... bare with me guys I'm just finally seeing results so I don't want to go back....

    Perhaps you should speak to a counsellor about this. It seems like you've got everything going right here. I mean I get it, I really do - you've literally had a taste of a lifestyle that has negative consequences and it scares you. I've felt that when I've had certain food before. It brings back memories of how things used to be and you're desperate to get back to eating in what is a more acceptable way to you now. But don't let it get to you, you're not doing anything wrong, you won't go back to whatever it is that scares you.
  • suefairy123
    suefairy123 Posts: 52 Member
    Thank you guys... this is all new to me... so I'm gonna get over it and be happy... goodbye guilty feeling
  • Chickaboo2014
    Chickaboo2014 Posts: 136 Member
    You can still enjoy "grandma time" just don't eat as much. You need to figure out how to do that and then do it every time. You have to make this a lifestyle change in order to be successful in the long term; otherwise, you'll just end up gaining it all back and then some. Trust me! Been there - done that - bought the t-shirt. B)
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,771 Member
    Oh I missed that she stayed within her calorie goal. OP, EAT! You need to fuel your body, right?

    . . .have you been eating way below your calorie goal or something?
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    Look, if you think that the only way you can lose weight or keep it off is by eating 100% controlled food at home, never going out, never having a snack, never socializing... Well, let's just say that's a surefire recipe to failure. Anyone can lose weight in a hermetically sealed lab. Most people who try that approach end up either craving the foods they miss and binging and falling off the wagon, or gaining all their weight back as soon as they 'stop' dieting, or some combination thereof.

    Being able to lose or maintain in the real world means learning coping skills like portion size estimation, making smart choices at a restaurant or a buffet or a party, practicing moderation with the foods you enjoy, and not stressing out over food or viewing it as 'bad' or 'evil'. Calories are just calories. You can have chocolate, chips, french fries, pasta, bread, beer and wine, you name it. Just have less of it.

    Everything in moderation. (Including moderation, sometimes. LOL.)

  • Chrysalid2014
    Chrysalid2014 Posts: 1,038 Member
    edited March 2015
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.

    I have to say I can't agree with this. Eating because someone else expects you to, when you don't really want or need to, is never a good reason to eat. It's nobody else's business what you put in your mouth and if they care about this, or even notice, it's their problem, not yours.

    You wouldn't expect a reformed alcoholic to drink Grandma's home-made wine just because she made it, or an ex-smoker to join Grandpa for a rollie out on the back porch just because that's what they always used to do, so why should someone who's made a commitment to healthier eating eat junk just because someone else demands it.

    That's just screwed up. Family get-togethers don't have to be about eating!



  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
    edited March 2015
    I guess I don't see the problem since you stayed within your calories. I agree with the others that say "food is food." You say you're worried about falling back into an unhealthy lifestyle, well part of staying on track and making a lifestyle change is changing your view of certain foods. When you see certain foods as forbidden or feel guilty when eating them, you are developing (or maintaining) an unhealthy relationship with food. You are more likely to overeat on them later than you would be if you ate them in moderation. Heck, I had a tendercrisp chicken sandwich from Burger King today. I was craving one, so I got one. Do I feel guilty? Heck no. I prelogged, fit it into my calories, and all is well, and yum it was good. Really no need to beat yourself up over it, especially since you didn't go over on calories for the day.
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    It is not failing if you make the choice and go in knowing that you have control over the situation with a plan. You did great staying under for your calories and one day out of three weeks really is good, you will get there and you did good.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    suefairy123 wrote: »
    Yes of course I enjoys family time.. of course I love food... but it just dawn of me that it's very easy to go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.. maybe this why I'm feeling emotional. .. I have cheat meals ever so often..so it's to not like I'm lacking anything... bare with me guys I'm just finally seeing results so I don't want to go back....

    What's an unhealthy lifestyle, eating too much? If so then periodic logging while in maintenance nad regular weighing will probably keep you on track.

    Nothing unhealthy with eating chips and cake regularly (if not daily). I've done it while losing 31lbs.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    edited March 2015
    Chrysalid2014 wrote: »
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.

    I have to say I can't agree with this. Eating because someone else expects you to, when you don't really want or need to, is never a good reason to eat. It's nobody else's business what you put in your mouth and if they care about this, or even notice, it's their problem, not yours.

    You wouldn't expect a reformed alcoholic to drink Grandma's home-made wine just because she made it, or an ex-smoker to join Grandpa for a rollie out on the back porch just because that's what they always used to do, so why should someone who's made a commitment to healthier eating eat junk just because someone else demands it.

    That's just screwed up. Family get-togethers don't have to be about eating!



    Moderation.
    Also, note she ate within her caloric allotment, so she pretty much has it down. No one said she needed to eat more because she was at grandmas. Also, I happen to be an alcoholic, 12 years sober AND I quit smoking last July after almost 30 years. Totally different concept.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Chrysalid2014 wrote: »
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.

    I have to say I can't agree with this. Eating because someone else expects you to, when you don't really want or need to, is never a good reason to eat. It's nobody else's business what you put in your mouth and if they care about this, or even notice, it's their problem, not yours.

    You wouldn't expect a reformed alcoholic to drink Grandma's home-made wine just because she made it, or an ex-smoker to join Grandpa for a rollie out on the back porch just because that's what they always used to do, so why should someone who's made a commitment to healthier eating eat junk just because someone else demands it.

    That's just screwed up. Family get-togethers don't have to be about eating!



    so you are comparing giving an alcoholic a drink to eating some high calorie food???

    fail059%20watermark.gif
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Chrysalid2014 wrote: »
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.

    I have to say I can't agree with this. Eating because someone else expects you to, when you don't really want or need to, is never a good reason to eat. It's nobody else's business what you put in your mouth and if they care about this, or even notice, it's their problem, not yours.

    You wouldn't expect a reformed alcoholic to drink Grandma's home-made wine just because she made it, or an ex-smoker to join Grandpa for a rollie out on the back porch just because that's what they always used to do, so why should someone who's made a commitment to healthier eating eat junk just because someone else demands it.

    That's just screwed up. Family get-togethers don't have to be about eating!



    picgifs-wut-confused-3161944.gif
  • Chrysalid2014
    Chrysalid2014 Posts: 1,038 Member
    [/quote]

    moderation[/quote]

    Yes, if you want something and allow yourself to have a little bit of it, that's moderation. Good. If you don't want something and have a little bit of it because you feel obligated or people are pressuring you into it, that's not good.

  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    edited March 2015
    Chrysalid2014 wrote: »

    moderation

    Yes, if you want something and allow yourself to have a little bit of it, that's moderation. Good. If you don't want something and have a little bit of it because you feel obligated or people are pressuring you into it, that's not good.
    Which OP did not say occurred. It appears that she ate food she enjoyed and wanted to eat, but that she views/ed the food as being "bad" thus resulting in falling off course.

    Totally different things.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    suefairy123 wrote: »
    Thank you guys... this is all new to me... so I'm gonna get over it and be happy... goodbye guilty feeling

    Yay! Guilt feelings about food are really counterproductive, so I think this is a step forward. You are totally permitted to enjoy yourself with food on an occasion, and that you did it within your calories is fabulous.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    If your hang-ups over food don't even allow you to enjoy a family get-together that involves eating a meal (which, 9/10 times, is what occurs when my extended family gets together), then you need to change how you look at food. No one is making you eat a slice of cake, but if you WANT a slice of cake, then you can eat it and have no reason to feel guilty over it. It's just cake, carbs and fat.
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