ok... I'm feeling guilty

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  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
    edited March 2015
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    I guess I don't see the problem since you stayed within your calories. I agree with the others that say "food is food." You say you're worried about falling back into an unhealthy lifestyle, well part of staying on track and making a lifestyle change is changing your view of certain foods. When you see certain foods as forbidden or feel guilty when eating them, you are developing (or maintaining) an unhealthy relationship with food. You are more likely to overeat on them later than you would be if you ate them in moderation. Heck, I had a tendercrisp chicken sandwich from Burger King today. I was craving one, so I got one. Do I feel guilty? Heck no. I prelogged, fit it into my calories, and all is well, and yum it was good. Really no need to beat yourself up over it, especially since you didn't go over on calories for the day.
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
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    It is not failing if you make the choice and go in knowing that you have control over the situation with a plan. You did great staying under for your calories and one day out of three weeks really is good, you will get there and you did good.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    Yes of course I enjoys family time.. of course I love food... but it just dawn of me that it's very easy to go back to an unhealthy lifestyle.. maybe this why I'm feeling emotional. .. I have cheat meals ever so often..so it's to not like I'm lacking anything... bare with me guys I'm just finally seeing results so I don't want to go back....

    What's an unhealthy lifestyle, eating too much? If so then periodic logging while in maintenance nad regular weighing will probably keep you on track.

    Nothing unhealthy with eating chips and cake regularly (if not daily). I've done it while losing 31lbs.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
    edited March 2015
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.

    I have to say I can't agree with this. Eating because someone else expects you to, when you don't really want or need to, is never a good reason to eat. It's nobody else's business what you put in your mouth and if they care about this, or even notice, it's their problem, not yours.

    You wouldn't expect a reformed alcoholic to drink Grandma's home-made wine just because she made it, or an ex-smoker to join Grandpa for a rollie out on the back porch just because that's what they always used to do, so why should someone who's made a commitment to healthier eating eat junk just because someone else demands it.

    That's just screwed up. Family get-togethers don't have to be about eating!



    Moderation.
    Also, note she ate within her caloric allotment, so she pretty much has it down. No one said she needed to eat more because she was at grandmas. Also, I happen to be an alcoholic, 12 years sober AND I quit smoking last July after almost 30 years. Totally different concept.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.

    I have to say I can't agree with this. Eating because someone else expects you to, when you don't really want or need to, is never a good reason to eat. It's nobody else's business what you put in your mouth and if they care about this, or even notice, it's their problem, not yours.

    You wouldn't expect a reformed alcoholic to drink Grandma's home-made wine just because she made it, or an ex-smoker to join Grandpa for a rollie out on the back porch just because that's what they always used to do, so why should someone who's made a commitment to healthier eating eat junk just because someone else demands it.

    That's just screwed up. Family get-togethers don't have to be about eating!



    so you are comparing giving an alcoholic a drink to eating some high calorie food???

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  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Being with your grandma and eating, because it makes her happy, is part of it.

    I have to say I can't agree with this. Eating because someone else expects you to, when you don't really want or need to, is never a good reason to eat. It's nobody else's business what you put in your mouth and if they care about this, or even notice, it's their problem, not yours.

    You wouldn't expect a reformed alcoholic to drink Grandma's home-made wine just because she made it, or an ex-smoker to join Grandpa for a rollie out on the back porch just because that's what they always used to do, so why should someone who's made a commitment to healthier eating eat junk just because someone else demands it.

    That's just screwed up. Family get-togethers don't have to be about eating!



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  • Chrysalid2014
    Chrysalid2014 Posts: 1,038 Member
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    [/quote]

    moderation[/quote]

    Yes, if you want something and allow yourself to have a little bit of it, that's moderation. Good. If you don't want something and have a little bit of it because you feel obligated or people are pressuring you into it, that's not good.

  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    edited March 2015
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    moderation

    Yes, if you want something and allow yourself to have a little bit of it, that's moderation. Good. If you don't want something and have a little bit of it because you feel obligated or people are pressuring you into it, that's not good.
    Which OP did not say occurred. It appears that she ate food she enjoyed and wanted to eat, but that she views/ed the food as being "bad" thus resulting in falling off course.

    Totally different things.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    Thank you guys... this is all new to me... so I'm gonna get over it and be happy... goodbye guilty feeling

    Yay! Guilt feelings about food are really counterproductive, so I think this is a step forward. You are totally permitted to enjoy yourself with food on an occasion, and that you did it within your calories is fabulous.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    If your hang-ups over food don't even allow you to enjoy a family get-together that involves eating a meal (which, 9/10 times, is what occurs when my extended family gets together), then you need to change how you look at food. No one is making you eat a slice of cake, but if you WANT a slice of cake, then you can eat it and have no reason to feel guilty over it. It's just cake, carbs and fat.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    Thank you guys... this is all new to me... so I'm gonna get over it and be happy... goodbye guilty feeling

    Excellent. You've got this!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    As I stated in my earlier discussion today was gathering by grandma's house... I did manage to eat a little of everything and from my logs I did manage to remain in my calorie goal.. but oh boy I feel guilty..feel like crying... I have been excellent for the past 3 weeks and I felt like I failed today...

    You ate some of everything and stayed in your calorie goal. Not even close to failing.
    Guilt is not productive.
  • Lovefastball99
    Lovefastball99 Posts: 53 Member
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    segacs wrote: »
    You should be feeling proud of yourself, not guilty. Enjoying family occasions and still staying within your calorie goal is what we would call winning at life.

    This.
  • suefairy123
    suefairy123 Posts: 52 Member
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    Lounmoun wrote: »
    As I stated in my earlier discussion today was gathering by grandma's house... I did manage to eat a little of everything and from my logs I did manage to remain in my calorie goal.. but oh boy I feel guilty..feel like crying... I have been excellent for the past 3 weeks and I felt like I failed today...

    You ate some of everything and stayed in your calorie goal. Not even close to failing.
    Guilt is not productive.

    ok I will try to eliminate guilt at all cost.. thanks
  • dragon_sla
    dragon_sla Posts: 42 Member
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    Why are you upset and getting down on yourself. Look at good points instead of the bad. You ate in moderation stayed in your goal limits. Like others have said you used moderation. So give yourself credit. Yesterday, I went over my calorie goal. It happens and tomorrow is a new day. Your on the right track. I have one day that eat what I want in moderation. We all need one. Consider it your cheat day and move on.
  • LovingLife_Erin
    LovingLife_Erin Posts: 328 Member
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    Don't feel bad! I have found a way to work sweets in my diet so I stay within my calorie goal, and I've lost over 60lbs. So long as you are also eating nutritious food, some treats are fine, especially when you are staying within your goal. If you go over occasionally, it probably won't result in you even gaining weight as you'd have to go over by approx. 3500 calories to gain even a pound. Just keep things in perspective, and remind yourself that you don't have to have a "perfect" diet to lose weight. :)
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
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    Wow, that is not a very healthy attitude towards eating. You might want to work at changing that or getting help. Even if help is just talking it out on these boards.
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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    Guilt for staying IN calorie goal? Why? You're in goal, and you went to grandmas and enjoyed a little of everything - WIN!

    If you feel guilty for eating foods you like, you have some issues you need to work out beyond losing weight.

    Heck, I was over goal all weekend, by several hundred cals both days. I ate pie, lots of pie, and rank wine and lemon drops on Saturday, and Sunday drank beer, and ate 4 slices of pizza, and a little slice of Saturday's pie. And guess what - I don't feel guilty, I didn't gain 5lbs since Friday, and my clothes still fit.

    This is for life - unless you plan to never eat certain foods ever again, with birthdays, holidays, vacations, weddings, meals out etc - you need to learn to do just what you did at grandma's house - eat what you like within goal, or close to it, and move on. Ditch the guilt, it's not worth it. B)
  • crystalnichols395
    crystalnichols395 Posts: 68 Member
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    Do stress about it. Everyone deserves a cheat day every now and then. But tomorrow is a new day!!!!
  • davis978
    davis978 Posts: 103 Member
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    You said you are "finally" seeing results after being "excellent" for three weeks. I'm not sure if you've only been at this healthier lifestyle thing for three weeks, but from your post, it sounds like that's the case.

    Although I know it feels like a victory (and it is!), three weeks is a tiny amount of time.

    In my opinion, the best thing you can do is start thinking about eating healthier as something you are going to do forever. The rest of your life. There are going to be some celebrations in life, get together's with family. Figuring out how to do celebrations and then get back on track (whether you eat over your goal on celebration day or not) is imperative to your long term success. Feeling awful and guilty is usually, for most people, not the way to get back on track.

    Don't try to eat "excellent" every day for the rest of your life or you will be sure to fail. Figure out how to get some non-excellent but super fun and rewarding days in there without letting it take you off the rails.