Why do so many people hide their food Diary?
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Hope you creeped on the "right" food diaries ... idk, this is all strange to me. We know what we're supposed to do, right? So, we need to do that ... with foods that we like (so, can sustain) in the right quantities. This is not complicated. Why do we need to creep?DoneWorking wrote: »When I was here the first time, my friends and I learned a lot about food choices from creeping each others food diaries.
Even after two years of logging and losing most of my weight (exactly one person has asked me to stop), I'm still not sure I agree with this. If I was sure what to do everyday for the rest of my life to stay on the healthy / healthy weight path, I'm not sure I'd maintain an account here. For me, this is almost as true now as when I first started
Congratulations on your hard work and great success!
I appreciate your comments and should probably qualify mine, because I suppose they weren't very sensitive.
I meant that if people are looking at their friend's diaries for the "right" approach, there is no promise that the diaries they're looking at are going to be useful ... for instance, there are folks who try extreme approaches to weight loss. This is (imho) not a sustainable or advisable plan. Instead, I hope our (collectively) education comes from outside the MFP community and is supplemented by the things we observe in here.
I'm no authority when it comes to dietary needs, running, weight training, or weight loss. I wouldn't want someone to see my success and think my diary should be a guide. It's what works for me. Just because it works for me doesn't mean it'll work for everyone. As I mentioned before, though, just as people should be left alone to close their diaries, they should also be free to choose friends who have them open. I just hope those folks are also seeking nutrition education outside this community. I think most of them are.
Edited because I hate when I make typos.
Thank you for your compliments. And I promise, no offense taken at anything you've said
The way I think of it is, we're gathering the data not just from one person we put on a pedestal, but from the collection of diaries we "creep". It could be one ingredient in someone else's dinner that I could use in breakfast tomorrow, or a lunch item I might incorporate as a snack. Or a fruit I randomly see in their diary and realize I haven't eaten that since I was a child... I got a zero calorie hazelnut coffee thing that I saw in someone's diary months ago and finally just today got the coffee maker and coffee to go with it :laugh: It can just be... an odd sort of connection, I suppose
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kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
A person having their diary closed has absolutely nothing to do with how "bad" their diary is. Congratulations, though...your comment is the sort of judgment that people who keep their diaries closed are trying to avoid. So thanks for proving the point.
Long story short: you don't know the reasons behind someone keeping their diary private, and those reasons (and their diaries) are no one's business but their own. Including yours.
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mine is public (it wasnt always)
but the thing is - im losing weight. steadily, consistently. whatever im doing, so far, is WORKING FOR ME. thats all i care about. Personally, i think my diary is a great example for what eating out/ eating 'fast food' / enjoying life can look like- all around 1500 calories.0 -
and i love looking at my friends diaries. i get tons of ideas for what i want to eat coming up, that way! LOL0
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PharmGirl522 wrote: »kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
A person having their diary closed has absolutely nothing to do with how "bad" their diary is. Congratulations, though...your comment is the sort of judgment that people who keep their diaries closed are trying to avoid. So thanks for proving the point.
Long story short: you don't know the reasons behind someone keeping their diary private, and those reasons (and their diaries) are no one's business but their own. Including yours.
Yes, as I have demonstrated above, my diary may "look" bad to other people and solicit unneeded comments. I just don't feel like explaining my (absolutely planned and calculated) patterns, how I do my quick add calories, why I eat so little on some days, why I log in multiple languages, why I'm okay with having a day of just cake and chocolate milk... etc0 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »PharmGirl522 wrote: »kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
A person having their diary closed has absolutely nothing to do with how "bad" their diary is. Congratulations, though...your comment is the sort of judgment that people who keep their diaries closed are trying to avoid. So thanks for proving the point.
Long story short: you don't know the reasons behind someone keeping their diary private, and those reasons (and their diaries) are no one's business but their own. Including yours.
Yes, as I have demonstrated above, my diary may "look" bad to other people and solicit unneeded comments. I just don't feel like explaining my (absolutely planned and calculated) patterns, how I do my quick add calories, why I eat so little on some days, why I log in multiple languages, why I'm okay with having a day of just cake and chocolate milk... etc
I used to be on here a couple years ago, and I had my diary public. I will never forget the day that I received a message from another member -- who I didn't know from a hole in the ground -- asking me "how in the hell" I expected to lose weight when I was "gulping down" chocolate milk "all the time".
I had had three glasses of chocolate milk. In the run of a week.
I wasted no time telling that person where they could stuff their judgment (hello, I hadn't asked for anyone's input, let alone that of a perfect stranger) and promptly made my diary private. What kind of judgmental nosy *kitten* does that?
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Mine is closed because when I first joined, I could see that there were a few, but shrill, people who jumped to conclusions without a solid foundation. I did not want to be defending myself against unfounded accusations.
I may open it up to my friends or others whom have demonstrated a great degree of wisdom and cordiality. So far though, no one has shown any interest, so I don't see a need.0 -
PharmGirl522 wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »PharmGirl522 wrote: »kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
A person having their diary closed has absolutely nothing to do with how "bad" their diary is. Congratulations, though...your comment is the sort of judgment that people who keep their diaries closed are trying to avoid. So thanks for proving the point.
Long story short: you don't know the reasons behind someone keeping their diary private, and those reasons (and their diaries) are no one's business but their own. Including yours.
Yes, as I have demonstrated above, my diary may "look" bad to other people and solicit unneeded comments. I just don't feel like explaining my (absolutely planned and calculated) patterns, how I do my quick add calories, why I eat so little on some days, why I log in multiple languages, why I'm okay with having a day of just cake and chocolate milk... etc
I used to be on here a couple years ago, and I had my diary public. I will never forget the day that I received a message from another member -- who I didn't know from a hole in the ground -- asking me "how in the hell" I expected to lose weight when I was "gulping down" chocolate milk "all the time".
I had had three glasses of chocolate milk. In the run of a week.
I wasted no time telling that person where they could stuff their judgment (hello, I hadn't asked for anyone's input, let alone that of a perfect stranger) and promptly made my diary private. What kind of judgmental nosy *kitten* does that?PharmGirl522 wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »PharmGirl522 wrote: »kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
A person having their diary closed has absolutely nothing to do with how "bad" their diary is. Congratulations, though...your comment is the sort of judgment that people who keep their diaries closed are trying to avoid. So thanks for proving the point.
Long story short: you don't know the reasons behind someone keeping their diary private, and those reasons (and their diaries) are no one's business but their own. Including yours.
Yes, as I have demonstrated above, my diary may "look" bad to other people and solicit unneeded comments. I just don't feel like explaining my (absolutely planned and calculated) patterns, how I do my quick add calories, why I eat so little on some days, why I log in multiple languages, why I'm okay with having a day of just cake and chocolate milk... etc
I used to be on here a couple years ago, and I had my diary public. I will never forget the day that I received a message from another member -- who I didn't know from a hole in the ground -- asking me "how in the hell" I expected to lose weight when I was "gulping down" chocolate milk "all the time".
I had had three glasses of chocolate milk. In the run of a week.
I wasted no time telling that person where they could stuff their judgment (hello, I hadn't asked for anyone's input, let alone that of a perfect stranger) and promptly made my diary private. What kind of judgmental nosy *kitten* does that?
LoL that person would have a field day with mine then... I have a beer 3 or 4 times a week. Why, just last week, I went out for drinks and had 2 beers in one night! *faints* lmfao! People man.... I think they were just feeling antsy cause they were having some serious chocolate cravings and got mad to see someone else having some. 0 -
Mine is public. Not because it's anything to emulate (half of it is recipe builder which won't give anybody any clue as to what the dish contains, also I treat the calorie goal as a gentle reminder and can be over or under by any odd amount you think of - works for me, won't work for others). The reason I keep it open and like to see other open diaries is what JaneiR36 said a couple of posts above - diary creeping is a good way to gather ideas and boost your imagination, a little like recipe site browsing. I have gotten ideas I could use that way before. Never made, and never will make, any assumptions about the person based on it.
I understand the wish for privacy though. My avatar is obviously not my face and I will never post family pics on here and will keep any progress pics with face pixelated/out of frame, etc. Not out of any sort of mistrust for the people on here, but because image recognition software is getting better and better and I don't want to have a bunch of information online that a spider can relate to me - i.e. my face *and* my diet *and* my address etc etc on one site. So I can totally understand why someone would want to protect their privacy in a way that they themselves find suitable.
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PharmGirl522 wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »PharmGirl522 wrote: »kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
A person having their diary closed has absolutely nothing to do with how "bad" their diary is. Congratulations, though...your comment is the sort of judgment that people who keep their diaries closed are trying to avoid. So thanks for proving the point.
Long story short: you don't know the reasons behind someone keeping their diary private, and those reasons (and their diaries) are no one's business but their own. Including yours.
Yes, as I have demonstrated above, my diary may "look" bad to other people and solicit unneeded comments. I just don't feel like explaining my (absolutely planned and calculated) patterns, how I do my quick add calories, why I eat so little on some days, why I log in multiple languages, why I'm okay with having a day of just cake and chocolate milk... etc
I used to be on here a couple years ago, and I had my diary public. I will never forget the day that I received a message from another member -- who I didn't know from a hole in the ground -- asking me "how in the hell" I expected to lose weight when I was "gulping down" chocolate milk "all the time".
I had had three glasses of chocolate milk. In the run of a week.
I wasted no time telling that person where they could stuff their judgment (hello, I hadn't asked for anyone's input, let alone that of a perfect stranger) and promptly made my diary private. What kind of judgmental nosy *kitten* does that?PharmGirl522 wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »PharmGirl522 wrote: »kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
A person having their diary closed has absolutely nothing to do with how "bad" their diary is. Congratulations, though...your comment is the sort of judgment that people who keep their diaries closed are trying to avoid. So thanks for proving the point.
Long story short: you don't know the reasons behind someone keeping their diary private, and those reasons (and their diaries) are no one's business but their own. Including yours.
Yes, as I have demonstrated above, my diary may "look" bad to other people and solicit unneeded comments. I just don't feel like explaining my (absolutely planned and calculated) patterns, how I do my quick add calories, why I eat so little on some days, why I log in multiple languages, why I'm okay with having a day of just cake and chocolate milk... etc
I used to be on here a couple years ago, and I had my diary public. I will never forget the day that I received a message from another member -- who I didn't know from a hole in the ground -- asking me "how in the hell" I expected to lose weight when I was "gulping down" chocolate milk "all the time".
I had had three glasses of chocolate milk. In the run of a week.
I wasted no time telling that person where they could stuff their judgment (hello, I hadn't asked for anyone's input, let alone that of a perfect stranger) and promptly made my diary private. What kind of judgmental nosy *kitten* does that?
LoL that person would have a field day with mine then... I have a beer 3 or 4 times a week. Why, just last week, I went out for drinks and had 2 beers in one night! *faints* lmfao! People man.... I think they were just feeling antsy cause they were having some serious chocolate cravings and got mad to see someone else having some.
Ahahah, that must have been it. Poor thing...they were hangry!
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Because it's none of your business. Simple.0
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My question is - why do so many people on here seem to think they should have access to my food diary? Do you want to come over and go through my pantry, too?
To be honest, mine is closed because I neither want nor need any feedback on it and when it was open, people would comment and I'd either have to be rude and ignore them, or engage with their comment, and neither option appealled to me. Having it open is an invitation to comment, which I find unneccesary.0 -
I always thought it was interesting that people hid their diaries. What you eat in private, you wear in public. So if you are not loosing weight people know you're not eating right. If you are losing weight, I thought the site was suppose to give us guidance on meals that gave you success. And since this journey is difficult, it's great when you can find a buddy so you don't have to do it alone.0
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Alatariel75 wrote: »My question is - why do so many people on here seem to think they should have access to my food diary? Do you want to come over and go through my pantry, too?
To be honest, mine is closed because I neither want nor need any feedback on it and when it was open, people would comment and I'd either have to be rude and ignore them, or engage with their comment, and neither option appealled to me. Having it open is an invitation to comment, which I find unneccesary.
Exactly! What I eat is what I eat and it isn't up for debate! I've been down that road and I'm just not willing to do it again. Here's the thing, I've kept this weight off for years so what I'm doing works really well for me. What I eat, or how much I eat, may not work for someone else and they may feel the need to judge me and I may feel the need to be rather blunt when I tell them where to stick their judgement...so it is best for all if I just keep it closed
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runnerchick69 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »My question is - why do so many people on here seem to think they should have access to my food diary? Do you want to come over and go through my pantry, too?
To be honest, mine is closed because I neither want nor need any feedback on it and when it was open, people would comment and I'd either have to be rude and ignore them, or engage with their comment, and neither option appealled to me. Having it open is an invitation to comment, which I find unneccesary.
Exactly! What I eat is what I eat and it isn't up for debate! I've been down that road and I'm just not willing to do it again. Here's the thing, I've kept this weight off for years so what I'm doing works really well for me. What I eat, or how much I eat, may not work for someone else and they may feel the need to judge me and I may feel the need to be rather blunt when I tell them where to stick their judgement...so it is best for all if I just keep it closed
I'm right there with you. I'd rather not have to put my b!tch face on, and that is going to happen if someone sees fit to make comments on things that I did not ask for feedback on.0 -
I keep mine private. I don't want to feel shame if I'm not eating what someone else thinks is acceptable. I made the mistake of admitting to making separate meals for myself & my family. I was crucified by the group I was apart of. Needless to say I am no longer apart of that group.0
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runnerchick69 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »My question is - why do so many people on here seem to think they should have access to my food diary? Do you want to come over and go through my pantry, too?
To be honest, mine is closed because I neither want nor need any feedback on it and when it was open, people would comment and I'd either have to be rude and ignore them, or engage with their comment, and neither option appealled to me. Having it open is an invitation to comment, which I find unneccesary.
Exactly! What I eat is what I eat and it isn't up for debate! I've been down that road and I'm just not willing to do it again. Here's the thing, I've kept this weight off for years so what I'm doing works really well for me. What I eat, or how much I eat, may not work for someone else and they may feel the need to judge me and I may feel the need to be rather blunt when I tell them where to stick their judgement...so it is best for all if I just keep it closed
And let me just clarify - my friends list is lovely! I don't think anyone would outright judge. I just don't even need the positive feedback and I'd feel bad just ignoring it, so I'd rather remove the option for them to comment at all. Though I see on my friend's diaries a lot comments like "Good day, but watch your sodium!" or "Ohh, hope you enjoyed that ice cream!", all of which would trigger my '*kitten* off' response.0 -
Because they don't wanna be judged by the food critics around here 0
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Because it's no one's business but my own. Because I struggle with Binge Eating Disorder and don't need public shame on top of my private shame. Because I only answer to me, and keeping it private means I will be honest with myself and log everything truthfully, even when I'm ashamed to see it.
I don't understand other people's obsession with what I'm consuming.
All that sounds great. First of all, it's very courageous to log your binges. I also think that you find more accountability within yourself if your friends saw your binges logged, you would be less inclined to eat as much if you knew you had to log it.
From experience, I use it as a tool to curb the binges, while finding support on heavy calorie days, because my friends offer support especially if they experience it too.
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kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
@kmccann357 - what is a bad diary? Is it full of bad foods? I don't classify my food as good or bad (unless we are talking taste).
Is it being over in calories, not logging consistently or being under calories?
If I am not consistently logging, or eating too much, my weight loss will suffer. There is no cheating that. If I am not eating enough, my performance will suffer. I don't need someone else to point these things out for me. I've been around long enough to know where the blame lies. I am completely responsible for the outcome.0 -
I love the assumptions here that a diary will only be closed if it is 'bad' or people are afraid of bneing judged. That's so patronising and presumptuous.0
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Alatariel75 wrote: »I love the assumptions here that a diary will only be closed if it is 'bad' or people are afraid of bneing judged. That's so patronising and presumptuous.
Yup.
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kmccann357 wrote: »If your diary is bad enough to be private then you're only cheating yourself!
Right. Because only "bad" diaries are private. *eyeroll*
THIS^^
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My diary is open to friends, and I do look at friends' diaries for a couple of reasons - 1) because they have similar macro splits to me and I'm interested to see how they go about meeting them, 2) yummy food ideas (like if I see that they had something I like the sound of I'll ask for the recipe), 3) I have some friends in ED recovery and I want to make sure I'm not 'liking' a restrictive day (there's a big difference in being a few cals under and a few hundred!), and also to provide encouragement where I can see that they are trying really hard to meet their calorie allowance.0
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onatboosh69 wrote: »
That's what is important! Just logging and admitting to yourself. Now you have the numbers and trends and can see what is going on. Nobody else needs to know. Sometimes we eat 1000 calories worth of cake. It's far from the end of the world and it's not a failure. Getting healthy, losing weight and improving our fitness isn't going to be a perfect process and that's okay. Progress, not perfection.
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Well said!onatboosh69 wrote: »
That's what is important! Just logging and admitting to yourself. Now you have the numbers and trends and can see what is going on. Nobody else needs to know. Sometimes we eat 1000 calories worth of cake. It's far from the end of the world and it's not a failure. Getting healthy, losing weight and improving our fitness isn't going to be a perfect process and that's okay. Progress, not perfection.
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It is no big deal. I keep my diary open so that it could a resource for other vegetarians.0
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Alatariel75 wrote: »runnerchick69 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »My question is - why do so many people on here seem to think they should have access to my food diary? Do you want to come over and go through my pantry, too?
To be honest, mine is closed because I neither want nor need any feedback on it and when it was open, people would comment and I'd either have to be rude and ignore them, or engage with their comment, and neither option appealled to me. Having it open is an invitation to comment, which I find unneccesary.
Exactly! What I eat is what I eat and it isn't up for debate! I've been down that road and I'm just not willing to do it again. Here's the thing, I've kept this weight off for years so what I'm doing works really well for me. What I eat, or how much I eat, may not work for someone else and they may feel the need to judge me and I may feel the need to be rather blunt when I tell them where to stick their judgement...so it is best for all if I just keep it closed
And let me just clarify - my friends list is lovely! I don't think anyone would outright judge. I just don't even need the positive feedback and I'd feel bad just ignoring it, so I'd rather remove the option for them to comment at all. Though I see on my friend's diaries a lot comments like "Good day, but watch your sodium!" or "Ohh, hope you enjoyed that ice cream!", all of which would trigger my '*kitten* off' response.
I had a comment from someone on my newsfeed the other day...after I had finished my entries for the day and the automatic status popped up in my newsfeed, someone commented, "Good job, but try to up the protein!" and, like you, my "*kitten* off" response was triggered. I didn't actually end up saying that, but it does highlight the fact that people never really know if there is a reason for why someone may be eating a certain way (in my case, I have had some kidney issues recently and have to keep my protein levels lower than normal until we can figure out what's going on.) But the fact is: I shouldn't have to explain that to anyone, because the amount of protein/carbs/fat I eat is no one's business but my own.0 -
Nony_Mouse wrote: »My diary is open to friends, and I do look at friends' diaries for a couple of reasons - 1) because they have similar macro splits to me and I'm interested to see how they go about meeting them, 2) yummy food ideas (like if I see that they had something I like the sound of I'll ask for the recipe), 3) I have some friends in ED recovery and I want to make sure I'm not 'liking' a restrictive day (there's a big difference in being a few cals under and a few hundred!), and also to provide encouragement where I can see that they are trying really hard to meet their calorie allowance.
See that would be my reasons for looking to and I don't get why it's called creeping in much the same way as I don't get why private diaries are assumed dishonest. If your diary is open then you are also open to the obvious fact that people can/will see it and the sometimes dumb comments this can bring.
Having said that I rarely look now. They're all grown ups looking after their own. Closed/open I don't give a damn. Just do what needs to be done for you and if it stops working change it.
To many people use a diary as some sort of backward source of guilt for "motivation" when it is just a tool for collecting data.
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Nony_Mouse wrote: »My diary is open to friends, and I do look at friends' diaries for a couple of reasons - 1) because they have similar macro splits to me and I'm interested to see how they go about meeting them, 2) yummy food ideas (like if I see that they had something I like the sound of I'll ask for the recipe), 3) I have some friends in ED recovery and I want to make sure I'm not 'liking' a restrictive day (there's a big difference in being a few cals under and a few hundred!), and also to provide encouragement where I can see that they are trying really hard to meet their calorie allowance.
See that would be my reasons for looking to and I don't get why it's called creeping in much the same way as I don't get why private diaries are assumed dishonest. If your diary is open then you are also open to the obvious fact that people can/will see it and the sometimes dumb comments this can bring.
Having said that I rarely look now. They're all grown ups looking after their own. Closed/open I don't give a damn. Just do what needs to be done for you and if it stops working change it.
To many people use a diary as some sort of backward source of guilt for "motivation" when it is just a tool for collecting data.
I like that a lot. Very well said. Actually, I could go back and bold your second paragraph too.
I also get your point about creeping. I'm guilty of using that word. I do it more as a joke. I refer to myself as "creeping" a friend's facebook pics if they put up an album even though we are friends and I'm doing exactly what they expect people to do when they post those pics. I'll tell a friend "oh I was creeping your photos and….". Just a habit I guess. I don't really consider it creepy.0
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