Why do so many people hide their food Diary?

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  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
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    Mine is open to friends, and I am totally a diary stalker of my friends... not for judgement, but for ideas. I have friends from all over and sometimes see a type of food Ive never heard about, so I ask about it and put it on my to do list. Or if a dish sounds interesting, Ill ask for the recipe (just did that today!)

    I have very little to no interest though in whether or not they hit their macros, or how many calories... Im not looking at it from a "oooh, lemme see what all you put in your mouth todaaaay!" LoL nope, purely from a "ooooh, lemme see what looks good so I can try that too!" point of view.

    Only if someone mentions to me or in their timeline that they are struggling with their food will I look at it from an angle where I might be able to offer some advice..,.but even then, my advice pretty much is the same "do you weigh your food? Try that!" only cause I just got a food scale and Im all about it now LoL My expertise ends pretty much there.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    amy_kee wrote: »
    Having an open diary does not necessarily mean you are looking for people's advice. Big difference. What I'm talking about is being a "friend" to people and not being here for giving advice. I don't think that people on here are qualified to go around giving others advice all the time. We are all working to do our best. Let's not get stuck on the giving advice part. An open diary is not an invitation for advice. I'm talking about real support, not advice. There is a big difference.

    Ok. I don't need support on my diary. All of what I said still applies.
    I have lots of friends here. Really good friends. A few I have even met.

    I don't understand how I have to be able to see what someone eats to support them or how someone has to see what I eat to support me. I've already said I have found tons of support here, the kind of support I want and need.
    I get people may need support on the food side of things. But that doesn't mean everyone does or should. Or that the people who don't are somehow doing it wrong or worse, not supportive.
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
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    amy_kee wrote: »
    I can't believe how many people are afraid of other's judgments. Keep living,...you'll see tons of people everywhere feeling they are right and feeling that they know best. The worlds full of people like this. You've just got to learn to let it roll off and keep on going. You can't stay all closed up, afraid of what others think and say. Opinions are like as*holes--everyone's got one. Stand up and be yourself and be proud of the things you accomplish.

    If you have self confidence, and surround yourself with positive friends, who truly care about you, and go on about your business, you can eliminate so much worry over what others think.

    I don't get critical comments from my friends here on MFP, nor, do I give critical comments. I'm always looking for the positive things for my friends and myself. It's just a way of thinking and living.

    If people keep their diaries open, their friends can be happy for their efforts even more. My diary is open to my friends and I intend on keeping it that way. You get much more out of MFP with honesty, being positive, and truly learning to be accountable.

    I think we all are here to do our best. We all are different and that's what makes it all so great. I love seeing my friend's diaries. It helps in so many ways. If you see a friend struggling, you can be more supportive. Also, when you see friends struggling, it helps you to avoid some of the same traps they might be dealing with at the time. When friends are having great success, you are more aware of the journey they've been on to get there. Then, you can be so very happy for them, and feel so great that they are doing so well. How can you possibly be very supportive of someone, whom you know hardly nothing about what they do and go through, day after day?

    There's a lot of bad and evil in this world. MFP should be a place you can come, be supportive of your friends, be happy, be productive, and learn things. Don't be afraid and lose the chance to feel all of the good that's possible here. Yes, there are jerks and sometimes you have to delete a friend or two, but, so what? Later, you just have more room for great friends on here.

    Having an open diary doesn't mean you are more honest or more positive than those who don't open their diary.

    While it may be the case there's a certain concern of judgement from others, it may be more the point that they know themselves really well...if they open diary they might be tempted to fudge numbers to pretty it up. Maybe it's temporary and they are giving themselves time to see success and build confidence. Maybe if they are in the red, they hate the feels to justify it. Maybe they hate platitudes that can go with that. Maybe they don't want the obligation or have the time to return comments on other peoples diary so they don't put others in the same position. Maybe they use the diary not just as a record of food but emotion and they don't want to drag others down. Maybe they log when they poo. Maybe they don't care what you do so we don't need to see what they do. They just need to see you doing... or not. Innumerable reasons why diaries are private. That being the case I call it smart and more power to them. Use it whichever way it's designed to be as a vehicle of adherence and data that suits you as an individual.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    People are afraid of being judged and getting PM'ed about their "bad" eating habits. Yes, that shizzle happens on here. If you want to see your friends' diaries, go ask them to open it to you.
  • ruperthumphrey
    ruperthumphrey Posts: 195 Member
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    I don't need the food police to tell me that I may not be eating to their standards and I don't need nor want to see others diaries.
  • SarahKhristan
    SarahKhristan Posts: 134 Member
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    I am not surprised that people want to hide their logging. Some people are private and don't want to share. I also think (in some cases) that they aren't being honest with themselves.

    I actually emailed a member on here. I looked at her food diary, and nearly every single entry was pizza, soda, fast food etc. Not one fruit or vegetable. And nothing "homemade". And can one really sustain a diet of ONE piece of pizza as a meal, every day? I emailed her, concerned. I know she wants to be successful but I felt that she was setting herself up for serious failure. She emailed me back, sad for me that I was concerned for health and basically told me it was none of my business what her circumstances were and what she ate (true - but aren't we supposed to be supportive of others?). Lesson learned - stop caring about others and their choices unless ASKED for assistance.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    SarahKhristan wrote: »
    I am not surprised that people want to hide their logging. Some people are private and don't want to share. I also think (in some cases) that they aren't being honest with themselves.

    I actually emailed a member on here. I looked at her food diary, and nearly every single entry was pizza, soda, fast food etc. Not one fruit or vegetable. And nothing "homemade". And can one really sustain a diet of ONE piece of pizza as a meal, every day? I emailed her, concerned. I know she wants to be successful but I felt that she was setting herself up for serious failure. She emailed me back, sad for me that I was concerned for health and basically told me it was none of my business what her circumstances were and what she ate (true - but aren't we supposed to be supportive of others?). Lesson learned - stop caring about others and their choices unless ASKED for assistance.

    This is an excellent lesson :)

  • carolemack
    carolemack Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Mine use to be open but I got one too many 'way to go' when it showed on my newsfeed that I completed my diary and was under my calories...when if the person had looked at my diary they would have seen the day did not deserve a 'way to go' and that I was severely below my calories for the day. So I just figured if they weren't going to look to see if it really had been a good day before praising me...then I might as well close it. It's been closed ever since. Also the food police would sometimes have a field day with what I had eaten...nope, don't need that.
  • mokaiba
    mokaiba Posts: 141 Member
    edited March 2015
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    PaulLester wrote: »
    Now i don't want to moan about things. I don't have many friends on here and most of the friends that i do have don't share their food diary.
    I believe that being able to look at someones diary and see what they eat would help many with ideas of what is working and what is not.

    I personally am on a low carb diet and if anybody on a low fat diet saw what i was eating they would throw a fit. This is however working for me i have lost 10 plus lbs in the first couple of weeks and am still losing.
    I am happy for people to look at what i eat. I am just amazed at the amount of secrecy others show.
    If anybody wants a look at what i am eating and questions how i eat what i do and lose weight, its because my body is burning fat not sugar.

    My diary is public take a look if you want.

    I have this feeling that you like pork. ;)

    mines open if you want to complain at me.

  • jt880
    jt880 Posts: 163 Member
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    mines open comment away.
  • PharmGirl522
    PharmGirl522 Posts: 51 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    Privacy sensitivities differ between countries and between say, rural and urban settings. People are entitled to keep private anything about themselves they are not prepared to share. I also think people's tastes and goals are so different that there is little benefit from trying to copy someone else's plan. For instance, on a crave day I rack up more calories, but I may not want to encourage readers to do the same. Listen to what your body is telling you! All food is lovely; enjoy it!

    However, if someone posts for help wondering what they are doing wrong in their plan, they will get much better advice if their diary is open.

    As a Canadian, I am shocked at the willingness of Americans to "give away the farm" so to speak.

    Mine is set to be visible to friends.

    It's comments like yours that make me wish there was a "like" button on MFP.

    It's true. Some people like to "keep themselves to themselves", as my grandmother always said, and they don't particularly want comments from other people on what they eat. Yeah, they might be using MFP and they may even post with a question, but unless they specifically ask "Will someone have a look at my diary and tell me what you think?", then there are just some people who don't think that what they eat is anyone else's business.

    I second that I'm kind of taken aback by the tendency some people have to "let it all out" -- personally, I keep my diary friends-only and that is the way it will stay, so I can definitely understand the desire to keep things closed.
  • sarahbear1981
    sarahbear1981 Posts: 610 Member
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    I follow a low carb high fat diet. My diary is open. Feel free to add me.
  • 4leighbee
    4leighbee Posts: 1,275 Member
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    carolemack wrote: »
    Mine use to be open but I got one too many 'way to go' when it showed on my newsfeed that I completed my diary and was under my calories...when if the person had looked at my diary they would have seen the day did not deserve a 'way to go' and that I was severely below my calories for the day. So I just figured if they weren't going to look to see if it really had been a good day before praising me...then I might as well close it. It's been closed ever since. Also the food police would sometimes have a field day with what I had eaten...nope, don't need that.

    This is a great comment. I see people liking "completed my diary and am under my calories" (and do it myself) all the time... it reminds me of giving trophies to all the kids who run the race just because they signed their name to the roster. It doesn't occur to me that they might have open diaries - I've never seen another person's diary (which is fine - no need to, imho) ... but if they aren't happy with their day then I have no business liking it ...
  • PharmGirl522
    PharmGirl522 Posts: 51 Member
    edited March 2015
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    3dogsrunning wrote: »
    I don't need advice on my food diary. If I wanted advice or felt I needed it, I would open it up.

    I also am much more honest with my logging with it closed. I don't know why, I don't really care, it works for me.

    THIS. I currently have my diary open to friends, but I wouldn't hesitate to close it if someone saw fit to comment on what I eat. I do this to be accountable to myself and no one else, so I don't really give half a *kitten* whether anyone has a problem with the status of my food diary.

    How does it affect you if someone ELSE has a closed food diary, OP? If you want yours open, leave it open. What others choose to do with theirs is none of your business, so don't worry about it.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    I set mine to private after having some issues with some friends giving unsolicited advice. I also removed them, but after that I just felt the need to keep things to myself for awhile. That little experience had me wondering who else was going to have something to say. I keep saying that I'm going to open it back up but I haven't done it yet.
  • jt880
    jt880 Posts: 163 Member
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    I look at other peoples for food ideas you can only eat so much raw spinach. I'd never hate on someone because they were over or what not. Its mainly for inspiration on food choices.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    PaulLester wrote: »
    Why do so many people hide their food Diary?
    Same reason I close my blinds in my house. For privacy.
  • FunkenWagnel
    FunkenWagnel Posts: 131 Member
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    Because I don't log anything most of the time. Because, if I do log something, it's my business what I eat, and I don't want to waste my precious time reading messages from people telling me what they think I should be eating (hasn't happened to me, but has happened to many others).

    I'm not afraid of anyone's judgement, but why should I have to waste my time hearing it?

    It's my business what I eat, whether or not I log, and if I only let myself see it. If I want the world to know what I ate, I have instagram for that.

    I don't see myself as 'hiding' my diary. I am an honest person. You can be honest and private at the same time.
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
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    Reading through all this, it is saddening that people who are in a friendslist, I would assume for support and motivation, would be so judgmental people would end up closing their diary off.

    Personally, if I had someone on my list like that...they would have to go! Ciao! Im open to people who are there to be uplifting, not drag me down and make me feel like dookie. Regardless if someone has what I think to be an unhealthy diet, unless they voice some concern, Im not saying anything about it. I have enough on my plate worrying about my own choices...Presidente or New Castle...hmmmmm thats a toughie! LOL

    Besides, most of the people on my friends list are there because we share similar goals and views towards weight loss. Unless they are downright hilarious and provide me with entertainment value, then I dont really see the point in keeping someone on my list who doesnt share the same general goals as I have.
  • SyzygyX
    SyzygyX Posts: 189 Member
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    I'm not here for you.

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