Weight Loss and Baby Loss

My journey is not over but I still wanted to post this in the Success Stories category. I guess I have been overweight my entire life. When I was younger (middle school and high school) I thought I was very overweight, but looking back now I think I was just slightly overweight. But as an adult I really gained a lot.

In January 2012 I decided to get it together. I somehow found MFP and it changed my entire life. My starting weight was 208. By September 2012 I was down to 148. I felt awesome. During this time period my husband and I were also trying to get pregnant with a second child. We already had one little boy. In May 2012 I found out I was pregnant, but at my first Dr. appointment they told me it was a Blighted Ovum. Which means there is a gestational sac but no fetus inside. I had to take pills that caused my body to miscarry. I was very sad and disappointed but I still kept on with my weight loss.

As soon as I could, we started trying to pregnant again and I actually got pregnant right away. We found out we were having a girl and we were so excited. My due date was June 27, 2013. On June 16th (Father's Day) I didn't feel right and I couldn't remember the last time I felt my baby girl move. The next morning I was given the devastating news that there was no longer a heartbeat. So on June 17th at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant I gave birth to a perfect and beautiful still born baby girl we named Jozie. To say this is the worst thing that can happen to someone is an understatement. If you have not lost a child you will just never know.

With how terrible this experience was my husband and I both wanted to start trying for another child as soon as I could. So in September 2013 we started trying again. 10 months later I found out I was pregnant. But unfortunately at 7 weeks, I miscarried. Again we started trying as soon as we could. I would have actually been due in about 2 weeks had we not miscarried.
Each month I find out I'm not pregnant has been agonizing. Secondary infertility has added an entire new level of grief on top of grieving over my daughter.

In November 2014 I decided to get it together again. I thought maybe if I am losing weight then it won't be so devastating every month I'm not pregnant. And I was right! Don't get me wrong, I still get really sad and angry every month, but it isn't the end of the world for me anymore like it used to be. Since then I have lost about 25 lbs. My current weight is 172.

I write this in hopes that I can reach out to other baby loss mamas (and daddies) who need any help or support. You are not alone!