Losing weight from external motivation?

atypicalsmith
atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
edited November 14 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm just curious if anyone has lost weight and KEPT IT OFF because (1) another person either bugged or encouraged you into doing so; or (2) you got into any of the myriad of weight loss programs which costs a lot of money; or (3) because of a special event coming up such as a wedding, or a family or class reunion. Or any combination of the three!

Key words are KEPT IT OFF! I lost 25 pounds before my son's wedding, and was still ten pounds over my ideal weight, but it was still good. I then gained nearly 50 pounds over the next seven years!

Analogy: A very good friend of mine is a successful salesperson who claims that everyone can be motivated externally, but it never lasts. The motivation has to come from within. Meanwhile, his company invests thousands of dollars into salespeople for motivational seminars, etc., and they might make a sale or two, but then revert right back into their old habits.

I truly believe that motivation comes from within (as evidenced when I finally quit smoking for good nearly 12 years ago - MY decision!) and can't come from external sources. However, if there is anyone who has had success at being unmotivated on their own, but was motivated by another source, I would love to hear about it!

Replies

  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Nope motivation must come from within. Unless someone truly wants this lifestyle change, it won't last long
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    no. it has to come from YOU.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    my husband *kitten* at me for smoking for YEARS. i didnt stop until I was ready to.

    hes still shocked and its been over a year LOLOL
  • jeannettemancini
    jeannettemancini Posts: 58 Member
    Inspiration can come externally. (My BFF lost 73 lbs last year... She inspires me) but my motivation is from within.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    If the motivation is wholly external then I don't think that would work. 100% internal motivation would in an ideal world be the most effective but for most people a combination of external and internal motivation is at play.

    The problem with most external motivational factors is that they are finite. What happens once you finish your 12 week challange, once that special event is over, when you don't want to eat shakes for 2 meals a day anymore... There has to be else at play when the external motivation ends
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
    jeannettemancini wrote: »
    Inspiration can come externally. (My BFF lost 73 lbs last year... She inspires me) but my motivation is from within.

    I love this! There is a world of difference between inspiration and motivation, even though they might seem like the same thing.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    I think that we can help, support and inspire each other...but real, lasting motivation has to be intrinsic.
  • blossomingbutterfly
    blossomingbutterfly Posts: 743 Member
    I believe it has to come from you, from within yourself.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I prelog my day every morning. My motivation is not seeing my calories in the RED. It took me 15 minutes this morning to log everything because I just couldn't keep myself in the green. There is no way way I'm eating anything else as I could not be bothered going back in to rearrange everything again!
  • zezelryck
    zezelryck Posts: 251 Member
    I had everybody nagging at me for years: Doctors, Parents, Children, Lawyers lol but none of them ever got through to me. For me I had to want to make the change for myself. I'm now 189lb lighter than when I started this, and I have to say I think I am even more motivated nowadays to keep the weight off, than the day I decided I had to change :-)
  • Justdance1988
    Justdance1988 Posts: 3
    I think where our motivation comes from is more on a spectrum at differnet places at any given time. Its an ideal to have our motivation to soley come from within, but I think there are healthy ways to externalize it. For example, I'm currently motivated to keep track of my diet so I don't spiral out of control with binge eating. When I binge eat I feel helpless against food. Sure a part of it may be my own internal fear of losing control but the potential to binge eat is very much triggered by external influences, such as what food is available in front of me or my current stress level. Tracking it keeps my hands on the steering wheel...
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
    Justdance1988 wrote: »
    I think where our motivation comes from is more on a spectrum at differnet places at any given time. Its an ideal to have our motivation to soley come from within, but I think there are healthy ways to externalize it. For example, I'm currently motivated to keep track of my diet so I don't spiral out of control with binge eating. When I binge eat I feel helpless against food. Sure a part of it may be my own internal fear of losing control but the potential to binge eat is very much triggered by external influences, such as what food is available in front of me or my current stress level. Tracking it keeps my hands on the steering wheel...

    It's funny how external influences can demotivate you. "One little cookie won't hurt!" "I can't believe you won't eat a slice of my birthday cake!" "You're eating like a bird; here, have some potato salad!" "One weekend of binging won't hurt you as long as you're good during the week!" "I made this fudge just for you, can't you just eat ONE PIECE?" etc., etc., ad nauseam!

    Whereas seldom can external influences motivate you, unless, as another poster wrote, a friend of hers who lost a lot of way inspired her - but she inspired her to motivate herself. She could have just as easily gotten jealous of her friend who lost the weight and stopped speaking to her. That happened to my cousin who seemed to lose all of her best friends overnight once she lost a great deal of weight. Of course, that could have happened because she suddenly started feeling superior, but that's another topic altogether!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Nope. Internal motivation only here.
    It would take pretty extreme external motivation like someone kidnapping a family member and threatening to harm them if I did not lose weight or offering a million dollars for every 10 pounds dropped and kept off.
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