Anorexic v.s. Fat Words Hurt

My daughter is naturally slim, but these days she credits the paper route she covered when she was a teen. She also tolerated comments like you describe, which annoyed her no end. She knew and I knew she ate well. I've been guilty of commenting here and there on her slimness (never anorexic! Never!). Sorry.

If you are already eating a balanced diet, adding calories from any source does no harm. Eat what you enjoy. High calorie foods are more efficient.

Here's an example for totally different reasons. Post bariatric patients are told to "eat your protein first" because protein deficiency is a known problem from this surgery. But from the very beginning I enjoyed my entire plate, eating small bites from every food group. It was easier on my stomach, it was pleasing to me, and I still managed to get "all my protein in". I've had very few post-surgery complications. However, some women in my support group who are still trying to "get their protein in" are struggling. And miserable. It's really tough to digest a lump of protein all by itself, especially if a stomach is compromised through surgery.

So if others see your slimness as a "problem" and you try and "fix" at every meal, I imagine it can get pretty miserable. So enjoy it all. Pick higher calorie options more often. But most of all love being you.

Have you thought of high fat options like nuts, cheeses?

Cheese. Lots of cheese.

I used to be very thin without trying. I didn't mind too much being called skinny. Heck, I was. Being told I was shapeless, flat-chested, looked like a boy, ugly, gross, 'only a dog likes a bone,' etc. That wasn't so pleasant.

Honestly, at your age, unless your doctor is concerned about your weight, I wouldn't worry about gaining. I had a "growth spurt" around age 25-26 and suddenly had a curvier body. (Then I got a desk job and a husband and got a *much* curvier body, but that's besides the point.)

My mother was extremely thin her entire life, and moreso as she got older. She could never eat enough to gain weight. She would get sick if she over ate. She was not anorexic, she did not like being so thin. She would wear long sleeves and slacks even on the hottest days of summer when going out in public, because she didn't want to put up with comments or have people stare at her skinny arms or legs.

People flat out asked her if she was anorexic. She tried drinking Ensure shakes...didn't work.

I do believe that she had some other issue internally going on. She did go to a family doctor, who could find nothing wrong. She saw some holistic health practitioners (whom I dub "quacks") who told her to take herbs and drink juices etc.

Anyway, I understand the offense when people say things like that about being skinny. When I was a youngster I was pretty thin - and people called me Skinny Minnie and stuff like that. I didn't take offence at the time though I found it irritating. I couldn't "help" the way I was (unlike now, lol...90lbs overweight, yeah I can "help" that, lol)

People should just keep their mouths shut about other people's bodies unless it's to say something nice. It's really nobody else's business...if you are thin, slender, chubby, or obese.

jenniferinfl wrote: »

I guess as a long time fat person, I would have adored being called skinny. Would you love to be called fat as an alternative to skinny? I'm just curious if it works like that for people tired of being called skinny.

I don't know why people would fight being naturally slim. It's the ideal. Has your doctor told you that you should gain weight? If it's just a couple people making rude remarks, cut those people out of your life. However, more than likely "eat a cheeseburger" is stated in jealousy, not disgust. Since any fat person would take being called skinny as a compliment, they may not understand why you take it as an insult.

I don't think there's a person on the face of the earth that would want to be called fat. But, I would guess a good 40% of the population who wishes they could be called skinny.

Now, if you want to gain muscle, that's a completely different discussion. For that, weight training and eating more than your maintenance calories is the key.

Yeah, NO. It's not "fun" to be called skinny, shrimpy, to have bigger kids shove you around on the playground because they are literally twice your size. It's not fun to come out of the bathroom in college to find a group of girls with their ears to the door because "you HAVE to be throwing up in there to eat all you do and be that thin!"

jenniferinfl wrote: »

I guess as a long time fat person, I would have adored being called skinny. Would you love to be called fat as an alternative to skinny? I'm just curious if it works like that for people tired of being called skinny.

I don't know why people would fight being naturally slim. It's the ideal. Has your doctor told you that you should gain weight? If it's just a couple people making rude remarks, cut those people out of your life. However, more than likely "eat a cheeseburger" is stated in jealousy, not disgust. Since any fat person would take being called skinny as a compliment, they may not understand why you take it as an insult.

I don't think there's a person on the face of the earth that would want to be called fat. But, I would guess a good 40% of the population who wishes they could be called skinny.

Now, if you want to gain muscle, that's a completely different discussion. For that, weight training and eating more than your maintenance calories is the key.

This is all terms of no.

No one wants negative comments, either side of the spectrum.

My parents came to visit me after my son was born. I opened the door and the first words out of my Dad's mouth were..You are obese! I was about 213 at the time. It bothered me mostly because I was thrilled about my new baby, but all he could see was my weight. He commented on it the entire visit.

jenniferinfl wrote: »

I guess as a long time fat person, I would have adored being called skinny. Would you love to be called fat as an alternative to skinny? I'm just curious if it works like that for people tired of being called skinny.

I don't know why people would fight being naturally slim. It's the ideal. Has your doctor told you that you should gain weight? If it's just a couple people making rude remarks, cut those people out of your life. However, more than likely "eat a cheeseburger" is stated in jealousy, not disgust. Since any fat person would take being called skinny as a compliment, they may not understand why you take it as an insult.

I don't think there's a person on the face of the earth that would want to be called fat. But, I would guess a good 40% of the population who wishes they could be called skinny.

Now, if you want to gain muscle, that's a completely different discussion. For that, weight training and eating more than your maintenance calories is the key.

In my own experience, I tried and tried to gain weight because I was bullied unmercifully. I had people physically pushing me around, drawing stick people and labeling them with my name, following me into the bathroom to make sure I wasn't throwing up, and calling me every possible nasty name that you can associate with being skinny. Some comments I got even as an adult:
"You need to gain some weight. You look sick all the time."
"Eat more burgers. Don't you know men don't like skinny women?"
"If you just gained a few pounds, you would look great in that dress."
"Don't stand sideways, no one will be able to see you."
I had teachers digging my lunch bag out of the trash at school to make sure I had eaten all my food.
It's all in how the comments are presented. If someone says, "Oh, you have such a tiny waist!" I consider that a compliment. When they say you look sick and need to gain weight, that is not a compliment. I had people telling me basically I was a terrible person when I was pregnant because I was too skinny and it wasn't healthy for my baby (not according to my doctor). I COULD NOT gain weight. Gaining weight is no longer a problem for me, but I still get beyond angry every time I hear the "real women have curves" that is so popular now.
I would think that it would be nice if people could not call other people fat or skinny. I think that would be awesome.