Arguing with bf - really want to eat something!

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CaliforniaRower
CaliforniaRower Posts: 187 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am in a long distance relationship with an exceptionally sensitive, moody man. He's starting to drive me nuts. Tonight he called me back to ask me what's the matter and when I said nothing, he got upset and said I was lying. (Nothing was wrong!) I'm not into drama, so I'm starting to lose interest.

Now he's stated he won't speak to me again today - childish! - and I am weary of his pouting and probably won't call him tomorrow.

I am about to force myself to go on a very long walk but right now, I want to bake a batch of cookies and eat half of them before I throw the rest in the trash in a fit of pique.

Any suggestions for when YOU feel like this? I'll read them when I get back from the walk. Grrrr! I am about to do the right thing, I know, but geez, it's hard. I'd prefer to call him back and give him a BIG piece of my mind...
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Replies

  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Dump him and have a cookie!
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    If you're not into drama and you think he is, might as well forget about the relationship, things won't change.
  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,767 Member
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    You will instantly lose quite a large number of pounds by the Dump Boyfriend cleanse. Guaranteed to cleanse your soul of emotional and controlling toxins!
  • techgal128
    techgal128 Posts: 719 Member
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    I'm someone that genuinely sucks at reading people's feelings and emotions. The first place to start is asking him why he thinks your upset. If he's anything like me, he could be misinterpreting something you did as you being angry.

    However, Liftng4Lis's answer is good too. lol
  • nikkinoellemary
    nikkinoellemary Posts: 119 Member
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    Life is too short for manchildren, but just long enough for something sweet every once in a while. Take a nice long walk, absorb some universe, come back and have a nice cup of tea and a couple of cookies. <3
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
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    Hey! Are you having a long distance relationship with my husband??? What the hell?????
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    I would advise communicating about it when you both aren't extremely emotional, but it's hard to do when he (and you?) shut off communication completely.
    The "I'm not speaking to you today" and "I won't call you today" is very toxic in a relationship.
    When either one of you feels hurt or lied to, the best thing to do is talk it out - not shut them out. The relationship sounds like it's in bad shape -- if he is unwillingly to work with you on improving the communication then it's likely to fall apart.

    I hope for your sake and his that you guys find a way to improve the relationship. If all he is doing is dragging you down and you feel improvement is hopeless, then do what is best for YOU and walk away.

    Good luck!
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    edited March 2015
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    This is why I don't date. Ever.

    But honestly, it sounds like he is looking for something to be wrong. Maybe he is feeling insecure about the relationship and doesn't know how to say it. Long-distance relationships are tough. They aren't for everyone.
  • vixtris
    vixtris Posts: 688 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Dump him and have a cookie!

    What she said.
  • westcoastgrl21
    westcoastgrl21 Posts: 172 Member
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    Dump the whiner. Ain't nobody got time for that. Take your walk then have some coffee or tea. Avoid the cookie- you're back on the market, gotta get down to fighting weight!
  • TheKidd2013
    TheKidd2013 Posts: 60 Member
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    ObtainingBalance wrote: »
    I would advise communicating about it when you both aren't extremely emotional, but it's hard to do when he (and you?) shut off communication completely.
    The "I'm not speaking to you today" and "I won't call you today" is very toxic in a relationship.
    When either one of you feels hurt or lied to, the best thing to do is talk it out - not shut them out. The relationship sounds like it's in bad shape -- if he is unwillingly to work with you on improving the communication then it's likely to fall apart.

    I hope for your sake and his that you guys find a way to improve the relationship. If all he is doing is dragging you down and you feel improvement is hopeless, then do what is best for YOU and walk away.

    Good luck!

    I agree with this, communication is key. I'm in a long distance relationship myself. Childish games need not apply in this situation. Shutting off because of anger is never the answer. Its normal to get in fights, talk about it when you are both cooled off a bit and address the issue.... if you feel there is a spark that is keeping you feeling its worth it don't give up.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
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    I didn't give up on my moody guy. We've been married for 23 years.

    He has so many great qualities and I don't expect him to be perfect. I learned how to "handle him" for lack of a better phrase. His sister recently said to me, "My brother found the perfect person for him. I love how you manage to simultaneously coddle him and smack him in the head."
  • CaliforniaRower
    CaliforniaRower Posts: 187 Member
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    westcoastgrl21 wrote: »
    Dump the whiner. Ain't nobody got time for that. Take your walk then have some coffee or tea. Avoid the cookie- you're back on the market, gotta get down to fighting weight!

    You're ALL so kind! Thanks a lot. I've loved laughing at these responses, esp the one above. I went for a walk to burn off the upset - to my astonishment, I made it 2.3 miles (for sure) in half an hour! That's pretty fast for me. I'm covered with sweat....and brewing some tea. Love to you all!

    Liz
  • evileen99
    evileen99 Posts: 1,564 Member
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    There are more than four available men in the world, and lots of them aren't moody and passive-aggressive.
  • PensterHern25
    PensterHern25 Posts: 5 Member
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    Well said booksandchocolate!! Most men take a long time to grow up and mature when compared to their GF or wife. Emotional eating is awful b/c that's what I do. Try to take a walk or exercise instead, which is a positive habit to practice.
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
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    Just say no to drama llamas.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
    edited March 2015
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    Sounds like a normal relationship except the sexes are reversed :)

    Like he is over thinking something minor.

    g8ns1y4qr83r.jpg
  • nesian_twin
    nesian_twin Posts: 198
    edited March 2015
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    If he's like this long distance, what will it be like in the future if or when you two start living together? He sounds like a pathetic little baby, sorry, but maybe he'll change if you tell him to shape up or F off, and you can have your cookie within your calories for the day (for one day a week I eat what I want, maybe this can be your cookie day! :) Enjoy them and dont let the drama queens or kings of this world make you miserable or not meet your goals.
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
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    I think you're telling yourself there's a really good reason for overeating. I understand the reaction - I've done it - but it's really just that: a story you tell yourself; a rationalization. "I'm so mad. Now I just HAVE to pig out." Even after you "dump" this boyfriend, if you do, something else will come up that makes you want to overeat. That's really what you have to deal with here...IMO. ;) Find a different way to deal with your feelings, because you'll be having negative feelings all your life - including negative ones.

    Now if you're hungry because you've been severely undereating, the answer is obvious: eat, within your calorie goals. :)
  • haysavam
    haysavam Posts: 74 Member
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    LAWoman72 wrote: »
    I think you're telling yourself there's a really good reason for overeating. I understand the reaction - I've done it - but it's really just that: a story you tell yourself; a rationalization. "I'm so mad. Now I just HAVE to pig out." Even after you "dump" this boyfriend, if you do, something else will come up that makes you want to overeat. That's really what you have to deal with here...IMO. ;) Find a different way to deal with your feelings, because you'll be having negative feelings all your life - including negative ones.

    Now if you're hungry because you've been severely undereating, the answer is obvious: eat, within your calorie goals. :)

    This

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