A small problem with IIFYM

schelly81
schelly81 Posts: 161 Member
edited November 15 in Health and Weight Loss
So I've been at this a year. I work out 5 days a week. 2 days lifting class and 3 days cardio classes like spin. I eat around 2000 calories a day. I also have a fitbit and 2 small children. I'm pretty active. I'm down 60 pounds with another 20 or so to go. I am currently 170 pounds, 5'6 and a size 10. I was at a party on the weekend, drinking beer and stuffing my face with chips and dip and chicken wings (you know, for balance) when a friend's husband came up to me. He wanted to have a talk because he's concerned about me. Then he did a big speech about he's proud of my weight loss but he wants to make sure I'm being healthy about it. He asked me if I was bulimic. He's concerned because when we all get together I eat, a lot. I guess it's confusing to some people that I can lose weight and not starve myself? I tried to explain to him CICO and IIFYM but I'm pretty sure he doesn't believe me or just doesn't get it.

Replies

  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited March 2015
    Well it seems that you know what you are doing... so why try to explain it someone who does not choose to or want to listen and learn.

    This person sounds like he may have that "I know everything..about everything" and the rest of us are stupid..

    Let this person be the way they are... listen to the sppech (if you have time to) ... but leave the parts that do not apply to you when you walk away from the conversation...
  • DaniCanadian
    DaniCanadian Posts: 261 Member
    First, very nice work on the Weightloss! It's not easy and it takes dedication so big high five to you :-)
    Id say just smile and nod and then completely ignore what he says. If he won't listen to you or actually see for himself what you're doing then there's no point in bothering.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    edited March 2015
    Oh boy. There was a thread a couple of days ago about people who have lost weight and how others right away think they have an eating disorder. It's just that they are used to seeing you a bigger size. If you had always been skinny, no one would question you. I don't mean to sound mean but he was WAY out of line. Next time, I would make it clear he is oversteeping his boundaries and you are quite capable of taking care of yourself. He does not get it at all, and obviously you do. By the way, I do the same thing. I am good all week but if I am out at a party or get together...all bets are off!! But come the next day, right back at it. It is why it works
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Haha! I think I would have laughed in that person's face with disbelief. He'd be especially shocked if he saw some of my intermittent fasting friends eat dinner.

    This happens to a lot of us, actually. I had a friend that was overweight trying to eat salads at every dinner we had together, and I had something like steak, broccoli, and potatoes. That's when you start getting comments like, "I wish I had your metabolism," or "You're so lucky you're naturally thin." You just have to shrug it off and keep doing what you're doing.
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    Sounds like it's his problem - not your problem and not a problem with IIFYM or CICO. People often ask me how I stay so trim and fit eating (for example) pizza and cupcakes, but they don't see that most of my daily intake is made up of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, etc. They don't see that I ate a light breakfast/lunch so I can relax and drink beer and have chicken wings on a night out. People only notice me when I'm eating the foods they've been trained to label as 'bad foods'. <shrug>

    I lost 60+ pounds in 2011 and have kept it off with CICO/IIFYM. :D
  • JoanaMHill
    JoanaMHill Posts: 265 Member
    Some (read a lot of) people don't understand the difference between actual caloric intake and how much you're eating. They also don't understand that weight loss still works perfectly well eating greasy potato chips or MSG-laden Chinese food instead of cutting those things out of your diet. Just ignore him. Not like he has any actual say over your lie.
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
    "Thanks for your concern, but I'm fine. I allow myself the occasional cheat meal to keep me sane, and I like to save them for social gatherings. So how's work going?"
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    I am a smart *kitten*. I would have said why yes I am bulimic and I am going to purge in your bathroom in a just a few minutes. Thank you for asking. Then walk away towards the bathroom in a nonchalant way.

    Sorry, I cant stand people getting into my business and usually have a way of shutting them down, but that's just me.
  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
    It's not confusing. If the only times you see him you are eating a lot...as you said you were...yet you are losing large amounts of weight, it is not crazy for him to assume you eat like that all the time. He asked because he cares. It sounds like he's just being a good friend and checking in to make sure you're not doing something incredibly unhealthy. Nothing wrong with that...if fact, that is a very good thing.
  • tamelakaye79
    tamelakaye79 Posts: 70 Member
    Psssh- He probably has severe brain fog from his years of "bro-science" diet of grilled chicken, tilapia, and broccoli .... eat them chips girl!!! If it fits!! Holla!!!!
  • S0vi
    S0vi Posts: 29 Member
    Tell him to go sit on a cucumber.
  • zamphir66
    zamphir66 Posts: 582 Member
    Sounds like a mansplainer.
  • Libertysfate
    Libertysfate Posts: 452 Member
    Ohmygosh, I get this every other day at work. People keep asking me what my "secret" is, I tell them I workout regularly and I'm eating healthier for the most part, but I eat every few hours because I'm always hungry. Drives me nuts that people assume I don't eat just because I'm small.
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
    zamphir66 wrote: »
    Sounds like a mansplainer.

    Fellow awkwardeer?
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    S0vi wrote: »
    Tell him to go sit on a cucumber.

    Best response yet.
  • Dgydad
    Dgydad Posts: 104 Member
    Hmmm..... How about "no, thanks, I'm good; bye!"..............
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Just remind yourself that you don't have to explain anything to anyone. That should fix the issue. Just say "I'm good, thanks!".
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    It's good to have friends who care enough to ask. :drinker:

    CICO and IIFYM can be a mind **** for people who don't get it - just explain it patiently, maybe shoot him a link or two, and keep doing what you need to be doing.
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
    Libertysfate wrote: »
    Ohmygosh, I get this every other day at work. People keep asking me what my "secret" is, I tell them I workout regularly and I'm eating healthier for the most part, but I eat every few hours because I'm always hungry. Drives me nuts that people assume I don't eat just because I'm small.

    I get a lot of the "Oh, I wish I was as thin as you, you must have a really fast metabolism!"

    Actually, I put a lot of effort into staying active and making excellent food choices, thanks.
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