Not Feeling Good Enough
CBussey1964
Posts: 3
So my husband and I went to Planet Fitness last night, we haven't been in a few months. I had a panic attack in the truck and could not go in, in fact I got out of the truck and started walking ... anywhere. I didn't feel good enough, I feel self conscious. How do you get past this? I hate myself for not going in, but I couldn't. My heart was racing. It caused a fight between us.
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Remind yourself that nobody in that gym is going to care what you look like or what you're doing (as long as you're not doing whatever lifting type stuff they don't allow at PF). People are working hard and are tired and focused and self-absorbed at the gym.
Also remind yourself that being scared is an involuntary feeling and you have the power to walk in to the gym even though you're scared.
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Honestly, and this is going to sound harsh, but you need to get past the mindset of "everyone is looking at me". NO ONE is looking at you at the gym, most people there are too focused on their own workout to pay attention to what the people around them are doing. Going to the gym in the first place puts you so far above your average overweight person; you're at least doing something about it.
Try turning the gym into an all-around positive experience. When you put on your workout clothes, make sure you look your best. Don't wear a baggy t-shirt and gross sweats, wear something you look cute in and get excited about looking your best while getting your sweat on.0 -
I completely understand. I went through the same anxiety when I started getting back into the gym routine. Unfortunately, getting over it has to be something you decide for yourself. I know Planet Fitness is an awesome, supportive space and you already have a great fitness partner. Next time, set a goal for yourself. Maybe it's go in and walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes and then you can leave. Little goals with easy success rates help me a ton. Just get in there lady! In a few weeks you will own the place!0
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I am very grateful to my husband for introducing me to the gym in a non-threatening way and getting past that initial nervousness. People who work out are very much in to their own bodies. The mirrors are for them, not you.
I don't think your husband is the right person to take you the first time. If you want to get past this panic attack, I suggest you plan for it. Would you be less nervous in a full facility or an empty one? Plan to be there when it is the way you want it. Might it help if you got a new fitness outfit that you feel powerful in? Is there a group class you really want to try? See if you can get a girlfriend to come along. Or ask for an initial assessment/introduction by a member of the fitness staff. Maybe having an appointment will help you get through the doors.
I admit I wear a lot of neon. Those are my power colors.0 -
Hugs. I know all about social anxiety, it rules my life. I can't go to a gym either, I do my exercise walking outside, I have a path that I take and I know how far I go. This way, I am outdoors, I don't feel trapped and I know that if I need someone who is close (I only go about 2 miles away from home and then come the 2 miles back that someone can come and get me, I know how terrifying this is for you, I am here for you, if you want to pm me, please feel free to do so.0
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Next time, tell yourself "I will go in and put my running shoes on and look around. I don't even have to do anything, just go and look around." That's all you have to do. If you don't do anything else, you've done your goal. If you feel up to it, you can try getting on a treadmill for a little and walking. You might - the gym is infinitely less scary in reality than it is your imagination.
Panic Attacks are completely irrational and not really in your control, but you can work through it. Make sure hubby understands that you might not get on any equipment, and is okay with that. And try to remember that gyms are places for all levels of fitness, all sizes, etc. People aren't judging you for not being good enough. Everyone's a beginner at some point.0 -
notnikkisixx wrote: »Honestly, and this is going to sound harsh, but you need to get past the mindset of "everyone is looking at me". NO ONE is looking at you at the gym, most people there are too focused on their own workout to pay attention to what the people around them are doing. Going to the gym in the first place puts you so far above your average overweight person; you're at least doing something about it.
Try turning the gym into an all-around positive experience. When you put on your workout clothes, make sure you look your best. Don't wear a baggy t-shirt and gross sweats, wear something you look cute in and get excited about looking your best while getting your sweat on.
100% agree.
This is for no one but you - don't let the fear of other people set you back from reaching your goals. This is not their life, own it, do what you want. People will judge one-another, just remember that judgement can be positive too! (ie: check her out, giving it her all, another day closer to a healthy life! if she can do it, so can I!)0 -
I am very grateful to my husband for introducing me to the gym in a non-threatening way and getting past that initial nervousness. People who work out are very much in to their own bodies. The mirrors are for them, not you.
I don't think your husband is the right person to take you the first time. If you want to get past this panic attack, I suggest you plan for it. Would you be less nervous in a full facility or an empty one? Plan to be there when it is the way you want it. Might it help if you got a new fitness outfit that you feel powerful in? Is there a group class you really want to try? See if you can get a girlfriend to come along. Or ask for an initial assessment/introduction by a member of the fitness staff. Maybe having an appointment will help you get through the doors.
I admit I wear a lot of neon. Those are my power colors.
What the..... what kind of husband do you have? Seriously..... your spouse should be the most supportive person in your life. No matter what. And honestly. When it comes to the gym, Planet Fitness has the worst commercials in the world. Judgy McJudgerson much? They really make it look like everyone at the gym is either showing off or judging everyone else. that's so unrealistic. Having spent years at the gym, I've never seen that. No one is looking at anyone else. We're all just doing our own thing. Who has time to worry about what everyone else is doing or looks like?0 -
If that is you in the photograph, then you great. I completely understand what you mean by panic attacks, but sometimes the biggest achievements can come from facing your fears head on. These fear are only what you have created in your head and you will be so proud of yourself if you just walk in there, keep your head up and do your workout. It will be a huge achievement and a mental obstacle that you will have over come and it will make you stronger. Once your in there and settled you will wonder what all the fuss was about as nobody will even notice/care that your there (and I mean that in a nice way). Please make just going into the gym and having a walk around in there (you don't even have to work out the first time) your next priority. It will be a very proud moment for you and your husband.0
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sarahtiffany23 wrote: »I completely understand. I went through the same anxiety when I started getting back into the gym routine. Unfortunately, getting over it has to be something you decide for yourself. I know Planet Fitness is an awesome, supportive space and you already have a great fitness partner. Next time, set a goal for yourself. Maybe it's go in and walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes and then you can leave. Little goals with easy success rates help me a ton. Just get in there lady! In a few weeks you will own the place!
this!
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It sounds to me like your husband wanted to go, but you were not ready. Don't feel like you need to be on someone else's timetables. If you go in your own time, when you work up in your mind to go, the anxiety will diminish. It's unfortunate that he wasn't sensitive to your feelings and it caused a fight between you two.
My advice, go on your own when YOU are ready and you don't feel like someone is pressuring you to go. Then I think you won't even notice or care about the other people in the gym because you are so focused and excited about your own workout.0 -
You can always stay home and workout if the anxiety is so bad. This will make it worse, but people are judging you. Some are more out in the open about their judging. Here's the latest one, 22 pages and going strong. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10116598/pet-peeves-gym-l-v/p10
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It's true that most people aren't looking at you (because they're too busy looking at themselves), but it's also true that the ones who do see you aren't thinking negative things. You showed up. You're trying. You're doing something about your fitness. All good. And for those of us (hand raise) who were once in your position ourselves, when we see you we remember how much harder it was to exercise back when we started because of various aches and pains, and how much easier it is now to work out really hard. And we admire you. It takes courage to work through the initial obstacles. I'm rooting for you. And when you get fit, it'll be your turn to root for the next person.
Hang in there. 0 -
notnikkisixx wrote: »Honestly, and this is going to sound harsh, but you need to get past the mindset of "everyone is looking at me". NO ONE is looking at you at the gym, most people there are too focused on their own workout to pay attention to what the people around them are doing.
Basically what I was going to say. Sorry it's harsh but you really do just need to get out of your own head and get over it. No one's staring at you.
When you're at a store (or wherever) and someone walks in that you don't recognize, do you stop and stare at them? No? Well, guess what - that's exactly what other people do too! It's amazing how little attention people get at the gym. Know why? Because people are there busting their own rear ends, too focused on themselves to care what anyone else is doing.
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If I read your Op correctly, you had been going to the gym and after a couple months absense, tried to go back. This caused a panic attack. Why did you stop going in the first place? And, did something happen in those couple months? There will be lots of people on here who are panic attack experts---I am not, just have mild ones, sometimes, but how about not putting on your gym cloths, and just driving your husband there and waiting for him inside? Bring a book. If you can get past that, bring your gym cloths in a bag the next time, and put it at your feet. The next time go dressed for the gym and try to start. Only you can decide if your husband is the right person to go with--is he pushing you? I hope you can get past this, but it's not the end of the world. Alot of people excercise at home.
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What the..... what kind of husband do you have? Seriously..... your spouse should be the most supportive person in your life. No matter what.
MINE is very supportive and encouraging when it comes to fitness. But the OP's husband had a huge argument with her the first time she couldn't go in. He obviously doesn't understand.0 -
You can always stay home and workout if the anxiety is so bad. This will make it worse, but people are judging you. Some are more out in the open about their judging. Here's the latest one, 22 pages and going strong. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10116598/pet-peeves-gym-l-v/p1
wow, way to overlook what anyone was saying in that post. Pet peeves do not equal judging. not liking how people wipe down equipment or stand around using phones between weight sets is NOT the same thing as this OP worrying about people judging her for her physical appearance.0 -
A lot of people worry about "gymtimidation." Please don't, though. As others have said, there is generally no reason to worry about such things. If anything, I've found that fit people are good about cheering on the less accomplished people who are putting in real effort.
We can guarantee that gymtimidation exists almost entirely between one's ears.
http://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/28rst8/planet_fitness_goers_have_you_ever_seen_anyone/0 -
Sometimes the hardest thing is going back to the gym after a break. I just went back last night to PF after two months of either working out at the small fitness center where I live or doing videos at home. I had to talk myself out of not going to the gym multiple times, including while I was in the parking lot (it was packed, no place to park) circling for a space to open up. But I realized while I was circling that this first visit back was going to be the hardest and I just needed to bite that bullet and go in.
Would it be helpful to go at different time - maybe when it was less busy? Or would it be easier to go with somebody other than your husband at first?0 -
I wouldn't wait for a different time. I strongly recommend doing what Becky said... just jump right in. The best way to deal with this gymtimidation (which, as I said, exists almost entirely in one's mind) is to face it head on.
Don't buy into the notion that other gymgoers are sneering at you. By and large, they don't. Most gyms are filled with average folks, not super-athletes.0 -
The gym is not for everyone and that is ok. Do you have a space in your home where you can exercise? I am an at home exerciser and love it. No on to worry about me. I used DVD's, have a barbell, a step, dumbbells and kettlebells. Good luck, once you get past the first time it should be easier. Most people are to busy doing their own thing to think about what your doing.
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Hey it spooked you dont worry. Id suggest going at a quiet time when hardly anyone else is there. When you do go make sure its for s shorter time than usual , so cut the cardio by 50% and make any weights much less than you left at. Then its just a case of acclimatising, and adjusting. It wont take long and youll be right back at it.
Dont forget that feeling self conscious is more about you and in reality people are just intersted in themselves.0 -
You can always stay home and workout if the anxiety is so bad. This will make it worse, but people are judging you. Some are more out in the open about their judging. Here's the latest one, 22 pages and going strong. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10116598/pet-peeves-gym-l-v/p1
@zyxst Why in the world would you link the OP to that thread? You do realize that encouraging the OP to read it is not helpful in the least bit, right?
@CBussey1964 As someone who suffers from severe anxiety and panic disorder, the only way of getting over your fear of the gym, is by going to the gym.
Until your body realizes the gym is a safe place… It's not going to be comfortable. You are going to panic. Your heart is going to race. You will feel dizzy. You will want to run. DON'T. By running, you teach your mind/body that you are not safe. It feeds the anxiety and panic. By staying and working through it, you teach your mind/body that you are safe. Even if you are unable to workout because of how anxious you are, still stay in the gym!! Sit in a chair or grab a mat and stretch. Take deep breaths.0 -
I got past it by saying to myself "I know you are scared and anxious and you don't want to go in, but you are going to do it anyway, because it's not going to actually hurt you to go in and you are just going to suck it up buttercup and feel crappy for a little while."
As I suspected, I felt a lot less scared once I got inside than I felt worrying about it. Still feel weird, but meh, I can live through discomfort. I just run it off.
I am not even self-conscious or don't feel good enough, I feel great, the concept of the gym just has always freaked me out for some reason I don't understand.
If you are scared of it though why are you pushing yourself to go?0 -
I don't know how planet fitness works as we don't have one here, but I've found the staff at my gym have been very supportive. I get very anxious at times, and I have had huge anxiety issues about going to the gym in the past. Some days I still do, even now I can feel it, but if know I will be ok when I get in the doors. I do a lot of freestyle classes as it helps me to be aiming for a time or I'll just put it off and then it gets worse. The class also helps me to keep going when sometimes I might give up, and they are generally quite small groups.
Is there anything in particular that you are anxious about? Would it help to ask for a re assessment? Or do you think you would be better with a different form of exercise at least for a while? My hubby and I rarely exercise together - now due to childcare issues but in the past I found it hard because he was generally better at things than me and I would get frustrated ( daft I know!)
- I hope you find something that works for you.
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And if you're giving it your best, then it's definitely good enough x0
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Going to the gym can be a little overwhelming if you don't have a routine planned out. I totally understand that. I used to think people looked at me and said "what is that little fat girl doing in here and who does she thinks she is?" I finally realized no one really cared what I was doing or if I was even there. I know personally when I go to the gym I don't look at anyone. I am there for one reason and one reason only and many of the people at the gym are like that.
Good luck and don't worry just put some music on and enjoy the workout.0 -
I wouldn't wait for a different time. I strongly recommend doing what Becky said... just jump right in. The best way to deal with this gymtimidation (which, as I said, exists almost entirely in one's mind) is to face it head on.
Don't buy into the notion that other gymgoers are sneering at you. By and large, they don't. Most gyms are filled with average folks, not super-athletes.
How dare you!
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UPDATE: Hubby came home last night (and for the record he is very supportive, just didn't know I was having a panic attack because I didn't tell him) .. and told me that some friends of ours go to a planet fitness closer to our home that we were going to switch to. I contacted her and she is meeting me Saturday at 10:00 and going to help me learn the machines and such. I am very appreciative for all the input and I CAN DO THIS!0
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Good for you!
BTW (and I say this simply because it bears repeating), if you're choosing this Planet Fitness to avoid feeling inadequate, please don't worry about it. Like we've all been saying, nobody really cares. Most gyms are filled with people of all fitness levels, including the horribly out of shape. I recommend picking a gym that will help you achieve your goals effectively and efficiently instead of getting hung up on the embarrassment factor, as some people do.0
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