Husband thinks I'm obsessed

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tammiperry71
tammiperry71 Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
My husband is diabetic so I encourage him by walking at the mall with him for an hour every day. It is slow paced, because he has neuropathy in his feet and is unable to walk quickly. Therefor, I don't really burn many calories so I go home and do more exercises. He gets so angry at me! What should I do?

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  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    Just explain it to him and keep working out! Why on earth would he get angry about that????
    I often work out on the weekend and then take a long leisurely walk with hubby!
  • dirtyflirty30
    dirtyflirty30 Posts: 222 Member
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    I'm guessing he's either jealous or embarrassed that he can't do more, or a combo of both. I'd personally explain what you're doing and why and that it has nothing to do with him once, then ignore all further attempts to bring you down.
  • cindyangotti
    cindyangotti Posts: 294 Member
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    Sorry but your husband is being very selfish. You are doing something healthy for yourself and you should not have to feel bad about it.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    Go workout at a different time in addition to the quiet time spent with hubby. Are you immediately coming home and making a big stink about having to work out again and doing it during "couples time". My hubby and I get limited time together during the week, so my workouts are done when he's at work and vice versa unless we are going for a family hike or something.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 832 Member
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    I think dirtyflirty nailed it - he is being forced to face his own difficulties and he is struggling with how to deal with it. In an irrational way, he probably feels (maybe subconsciously) that you are rubbing it in that he can't do it. And he is likely feeling somewhat inadequate. And definitely jealous. All perfectly understandable!!!

    I would try to be as sympathetic as possible, reassuring him that you are not trying to show him up, and encouraging him to keep doing what he is doing and pushing himself as much as he can while respecting his limitations. And if he remains unable to see that you are doing this for yourself, and not to hurt him, then one solution might be for you to find a different workout schedule that feels less like an immediate slap in the face. At least until he is able to get through some of his issues.

    You are doing a great thing - for both of you - keep it up!!!
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    I don't get mad at my husband for doing P90X. I don't understand why your husband would be mad at you wanting to burn some more calories.

    One thing I will tell you is that my husband is diabetic and was diagnosed with neuropathy several years ago. He did get his diabetes under control so that he doesn't have to take any medication, but before he did that - he found a german study that spoke about neuropathy and taking Neurontin. He found out that Neurontin depletes the body of Vitamin B - specifically Biotin. He started taking Biotin in addition to a multivitamin, and hadn't had issues with neuropathy in years. It may be something for your husband to look into.

    Another thing. My husband and I tried taking walks together. It never worked because we wanted to go at different paces. At various points along the walk, one of us was always wanting to go faster or slower than the other. What we ended up doing was - we'd both walk around the neighborhood, but take different path's. When we'd see each other, we'd give a high-5 or something. That way - one of us wasn't trying to keep up with the other and could go the pace they wanted to.

    For what it's worth...
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    What dirty flirty said... and this... He is probably feeling some anxiety as well... having mobility issues for a man, he probably see your fitness efforts as a sign that you are preparing to jump ship and leave him because of his health issues. after all he IS not the man you married... SO.. you can assuage, his anxiety by having a heart to heart and trying to get him to open up about his feelings, OR you can allow him to continue exercising his worst fears and making life horrible for both of you.

    Best of luck... LOVE, like life... finds a way.
  • 20yearsyounger
    20yearsyounger Posts: 1,643 Member
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    I agree with other comments. It seems to be more a problem with him facing his difficulties. Can he ride a bike? Maybe he needs some other type of exercise that reduces the load on his feet so that he can be at the same level as you.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,179 Member
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    tammiperry71 wrote: »
    My husband is diabetic so I encourage him by walking at the mall with him for an hour every day. It is slow paced, because he has neuropathy in his feet and is unable to walk quickly. Therefor, I don't really burn many calories so I go home and do more exercises. He gets so angry at me! What should I do?

    #1 --- You burn the same amount of calories, if you walk a mile in 2 hours or if you walk it
    in 30min.
    #2 Find out why he gets angry. Maybe he wants to spend time with you?
  • tammiperry71
    tammiperry71 Posts: 4 Member
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    Thanks for all the suggestions. We work together. Self-employed. We run a diner. So we are together ALL the time. I was getting up at 4:30 to do my workout before we went to work so I wasn't rubbing it in his face or taking away time together.

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