"Once a fat person - always a fat person"

dakotababy
dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
in Motivation and Support
I had an individual at my work make this comment to me the other day. It popped into my mind today, and it is bothering me. She said "once a fat girl - always a fat girl" and of course she linked it to being an alcoholic.

I started at 250lbs and have lost a significant amount of weight, which of course seems to be the topic of the year at my work. This comment though, I seem to go back and forth on. On my way through the weight loss, I have written many letters to my former fat self saying good bye. I have embraced my new appearance and lifestyle and identify with it heavily. To say that I am always "mentally a fat girl" feels like a knife through my efforts to disassociate with my former self.

On the other hand, I feel like a once obese person always needs to remember that they can fall right back to how they were, more easily than one who has never been obese before.

Am I setting myself up for failure either way that I think about it?

I like "Once a fat girl - Now I am Not."

This was really just a vent to get things out, feel free to comment with what you think!

Replies

  • SunflowerCat74
    SunflowerCat74 Posts: 258 Member
    Sounds like your coworker is a *kitten*. What a thoughtless thing to say to someone who has obviously worked very hard to better themselves. Maybe she feels threatened by you? Whatever the case, I hope you use her comment to motivate yourself and prove her wrong.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I'm wondering if she has experienced this herself and that is why she said it. In other words, maybe it was about her and not about you.
  • JayRuby84
    JayRuby84 Posts: 557 Member
    Ugh. That comment bothers me, too. There are many folks who stay slim and healthy and then many who gain the weight back.
  • Altagracia220
    Altagracia220 Posts: 876 Member
    You are right about how a bigger person who lost a great amount of weight can go back to bad habits if not careful. But the comment your co-worker made was inappropriate and unproductive. Obviously she is jealous of your huge success.

    It sounds like you are on the right path so i don't believe you are setting yourself up for failure.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    I'm wondering if she has experienced this herself and that is why she said it. In other words, maybe it was about her and not about you.

    She has! She was once obese herself and lost a significant amount of weight. It is just her mantra I guess, and how she still views herself as (mentally) fat...which is fine, but I just struggle to agree with it for my self.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I suspect my loss will be maintained by a lifetime of vigilance. And I can slip in to acting like a large woman, for instance using caution on the stairs, or forgetting my new stronger, mobile self can do things now.

    But I am getting used to a new image of myself. I am transforming. I'd like to believe this transformation is for real.

    A comment like that, I think, deserves a smile and nod. It's where she's living.
  • AbsoluteTara79
    AbsoluteTara79 Posts: 266 Member
    First off - her comment was more about herself than you and you might choose to recognize that and not let it bother you.

    Secondly, you sound like you're aware of the fact that it's easy to fall back into old habits and that is the important part. You just have a different mantra and way of memorializing that.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
    For some reason, that quote makes me think of this picture:

    An+awesome+sculpture+big+i+wonder+how+many+tumblerets+could+this_dedf2f_5252110.jpg

    To chisel out the fit girl inside, it takes hard work and dedication. If you put forward the effort, you will see the results. To maintain it, you still need to work and continue to chisel away.

    If you don't want to put forward the work it takes to chisel yourself out, you'll regain the weight and still be "the fat girl".

    **all of the you's in the above text are a general you, not specifically the OP. I hope this post doesn't offend, I'm actually talking to myself more than anyone else.
  • elizabeth532
    elizabeth532 Posts: 1
    What a load crap your weight is in your hands only you control it people loose and gain weight due to overeating or medication or illness. Then loose it through diet, I know loads of people who were big an have lost the weight and kept it off. I think the problem is jealousy some people just dont Like to see others succeeded, be proud of ur hard work an don't listen to jealous nay sayers.
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    I like the phrase I read in an article recently: overweight people who have lost weight have "obesity in remission". That's how I feel.

    I've made a lot of changes in my lifestyle and have worked hard to improve my health and keep off the weight that I lost. But hard experience has taught me that I can very easily slip into my old bad habits. I've been at this for over 3 years and I have come to realize that I will have to watch my habits for the rest of my life to maintain my weight and fitness.

    I joke about "fat Jruzer", and I am now kind of shocked and disappointed when I see photos of myself 50+ pounds heavier. But I know that fat Jruzer is still in there--wanting to stop logging and wanting me to eat whatever I want as much as I want whenever I want. He'll always be a part of me, although I hope his voice will grow quieter with the passage of years.

    So maybe your colleague had some malicious intent; I don't know. But I think you'd be foolish to entirely disregard what shes saying, too.
  • ibamosaserreinas
    ibamosaserreinas Posts: 294 Member
    I love your idea of writing letters to your former self. That sounds very empowering. A way to plan for a different future.

    I get what your coworker is saying... But that feels like such a negative outlook to choose to take. Ugh. I like your positivity better.
  • matttucker2015
    matttucker2015 Posts: 31 Member
    Name and address to your employer! I'll take care of her butt! >:)

    Don't let the fools get to you. She's just a jealous, lazy, xxxxx! Anyone can loose weight and keep it off. Keep at it and just show off your new hot body!
  • matttucker2015
    matttucker2015 Posts: 31 Member
    matttucker2015 wrote: »
    Name and address to your employer! I'll take care of her butt! >:)

    Don't let the fools get to you. She's just a jealous, lazy, xxxxx! Anyone can loose weight and keep it off. Keep at it and just show off your new hot body!

    Also, 98.4lbs are you kidding me!!! :) You're awesome!
  • NurseandMom1981
    NurseandMom1981 Posts: 101 Member
    I actually she what she is saying as I have lost 140 lbs and still see myself as the fat girl. Honestly Im 165 lbs and look in the mirror and always see the 300 i once was. When I say I will always be the fat girl I mean it mentally. I always carry around with me those insecurities and fear. It for me is not really about gaining it back its about how I see myself and my mentality. This is just my take on it.

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