I hate my body
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Only you can do this.0
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barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.
@barbaraaguilar435 How tall are you? And how much do you weigh?
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Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.
But you can be them with a little knowledge and determination. Your new buddies will help you get there. You do have to want it enough to do something about it though. Twenty pounds is a very manageable amount to lose. You could do it by the end of Summer.
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barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks
You can be them. I used to live in Minnesota. One winter I came out to San Diego for work. Watching all of these people frolicking on the beach in shorts and t-shirts while knowing I had to go back to 6 feet of snow on the ground and below freezing temperatures made me SO MAD. I thought, "why can't I be them"? And then I put all of my crap in a U-Haul and moved out here, and now I am them. The only difference between you and the women you're jealous of is what you do with your time and your energy.0 -
I feel you so much..one day at a time, like one poster wrote. one day at a time..I lost 115 pounds and then slowly as i let the habits i learned stop, i gained by 50.....50!! I am so agitated with myself! but you know what? I didn't gain 50 in one day, but i went back I know....writing things down and for me just weighing once in the am when awakening. For me, it keeps me on track. I do allow myself to have my "treat", there is no way I will never eat chocolate again, but if I have a craving, I get one bar..210 calories and write it down. I am down 5 lbs in a week but I am 314 pounds now, so I will lose a lot at first, and then slow down. Be good to yourself and I promise you that not one of those people that you think are looking at you matter. The only one who should be looking at you when you are out there walking and exercising is you. When I am in the gym and people look at me, I think..if anyone NEEDS to be here its ME....Rock on, you got this!!! Christine0
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5'2 weighing 140FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.
@barbaraaguilar435 How tall are you? And how much do you weigh?
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barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks
There have been a lot of encouraging posts, so my answer isn't going to focus on how you can change your stars.
But I will ask if you are truly seeing the people around you?
We are surrounded by obesity... The majority of America and Canada struggles with obesity.
So when you say "every woman you see is skinny" I wonder if maybe you aren't REALLY seeing the people around you.
I'd like to request that you post a pic of yourself. Just a regular jeans and tshirt or tank pic. I'm starting to think you need a new mirror, and we may be able to help you with that. I struggled with self hatred for a long time... And I realize now, after a lot of work, that it was not logical.
Lots of love to you.0 -
Get some professional help for this issue. It seems to be stunting your ability to get through a day.0
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I know it can be difficult at times. You just need to remember that you are able to achieve whatever goal you set yourself! You owe it to yourself to sculpt your body into one that you're not just comfortable with, but one you're actually happy with. If you need help motivating yourself, there's a lot of motivational speeches on Youtube (I personally like Eric Thomas) or you can flick through some motivational messages & quotes. I printed some of these ones off and have them on my fridge at home.
http://v8juice.co.uk/motivational-messages/
Good Luck @barbaraag0 -
I've have hated myself, too, but it was only making me miserable. I decided I needed more. I needed to love myself. I needed to be happier and healthier. So I started to take steps toward a better attitude about my body and ways to improve it.
First, you must change your mindset. Negativity gets you nowhere. Use your frustration as fuel, as motivation to change. Get through one small workout and be proud of your accomplishment! Use that to continue on! Be more mindful of what you eat. Use the food diary on MFP. It really shows you what you're really putting in your body!
Each time you reach one small goal, you will feel better about yourself! You will feel a tiny sense of accomplishment and that keeps you going! Don't try to do too much at once, but be sure to push yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy and healthy!0 -
skinbeauty2005 wrote: »I've have hated myself, too, but it was only making me miserable. I decided I needed more. I needed to love myself. I needed to be happier and healthier. So I started to take steps toward a better attitude about my body and ways to improve it.
First, you must change your mindset. Negativity gets you nowhere. Use your frustration as fuel, as motivation to change. Get through one small workout and be proud of your accomplishment! Use that to continue on! Be more mindful of what you eat. Use the food diary on MFP. It really shows you what you're really putting in your body!
Each time you reach one small goal, you will feel better about yourself! You will feel a tiny sense of accomplishment and that keeps you going! Don't try to do too much at once, but be sure to push yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy and healthy!
Thanks for that, its exactly what I needed to hear struggling with lack of motivation right now. All my goals seem so far and unattainable.0 -
I totally understand about hating your big arms. I have huge arms too from the elbow up. It's genetic because the rest of me is very small (when I am at my normal weight) but my arms are deformed big! I hate it but have learned to live with it. I am what God made me and I just don't wear anything sleeveless. It's pain in summer - but we do what we have to do.
I love what Ninerbuff said, "Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is!" That is brilliant and has been the only way I was ever able to lose weight and keep it off.
Best of luck0 -
A little harsh......okay. But I'm betting the OP hasn't felt this way just this time. Chances are it's been an ongoing issue and many times being direct is what some need. Working in the industry, I've heard every story (or variations of it) from emotions, being unmotivated, having no support, etc.The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
The one COMMON thing that people who successfully reach goal is they WANTED IT more than any obstacles and deterrences that got in their way, even if it was from people they loved.
The OP has the option to take the advice or not. Being upfront isn't being mean. Perception is the difference.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
OP is an 18 year old girl. Let's take it down a notch and have some compassion, shall we? I'm not opposed to being direct, but assuming that this OP is full of excuses based on her very first post on the site is more than a little harsh.0 -
OP, you don't have to cut out the foods you enjoy to lose weight...plug your numbers into MFP (go with a 1-1 1/2 lb per week loss), eat back a portion (if not all) of your exercise calories, log your food consistently, exercise regularly (a mix of cardio and weights), and plan for treats from time to time. Most important of all though, learn to love your body NOW. Not the body you wish you had, the one that is serving you well each and every day already.0
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Your body is amazing and can do so many things. Please don't feel so bad about yourself. When you look at yourself, all the bad stuff is magnified. When your friends see you, all the good stuff is magnified. I totally understand how you feel and I am there some days too, and was a LOT at 18. But- having a bit of fat on your body doesn't mean the whole thing is worthless! When you catch yourself thinking something like this, tell yourself to stop being so mean to yourself. You'd never say things like that to your friends and hurt them so don't say things like that to yourself to hurt yourself. For what it's worth I was an ugly duckling until my mid/late twenties- chubby, awkward, and self-conscious. Around 26 my face hollowed out, I learned to dress stylishly, my butt got cute after I started running and now men look at me for a long time when I walk in a room. Please be nice to yourself! Be nice to your brain by reading books, nice to your body by walking or running and eating some veggies, nice to your lungs by not smoking,and be nice to your soul by not bashing yourself. And please friend me if you'd like to.0
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MsJennyffer wrote: »skinbeauty2005 wrote: »I've have hated myself, too, but it was only making me miserable. I decided I needed more. I needed to love myself. I needed to be happier and healthier. So I started to take steps toward a better attitude about my body and ways to improve it.
First, you must change your mindset. Negativity gets you nowhere. Use your frustration as fuel, as motivation to change. Get through one small workout and be proud of your accomplishment! Use that to continue on! Be more mindful of what you eat. Use the food diary on MFP. It really shows you what you're really putting in your body!
Each time you reach one small goal, you will feel better about yourself! You will feel a tiny sense of accomplishment and that keeps you going! Don't try to do too much at once, but be sure to push yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy and healthy!
Thanks for that, its exactly what I needed to hear struggling with lack of motivation right now. All my goals seem so far and unattainable.
Definitely! As I always tell my little girls. Set yourself small goals and work towards them. Each victory will build your confidence up and help you conquer the difficult challenges.
You're capable of so much more than you realise. The only obstacle to happiness is your own mind frame. And you have the power to overcome that!
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This might make me sound like a really awful person and that's probably fair, but...
Honestly, watching shows like The Biggest Loser or My 600 Pound Life make me feel better. You think every woman you see is skinny - that's not true, that's just your perception. Watching shows like that might help give you more perspective. I know I was pretty disgusted by my body when I was 18. I think that's part of life - we don't appreciate what we have when we're young. Don't fret. You are 100 times more beautiful than you think you are. I promise you that.0
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