Talking to Your Daughter About Her Body
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GypsyByTheSea
Posts: 529 Member
I wish I had read this when I was raising my daughter. I'm not sure how - but, my daughter is raising her daughter with all this in mind. Smart girl.
(Article by Sarah Koppelkam)
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight.
If you think your daughter's body looks amazing, don't say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
"You look so healthy!" is a great one.
Or how about, "You're looking so strong."
"I can see how happy you are -- you're glowing."
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don't comment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don't you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don't go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don't say, "I'm not eating carbs right now." Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom's recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It's easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don't. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
This post originally appeared on hopeave.wordpress.com.
(Article by Sarah Koppelkam)
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight.
If you think your daughter's body looks amazing, don't say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
"You look so healthy!" is a great one.
Or how about, "You're looking so strong."
"I can see how happy you are -- you're glowing."
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don't comment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don't you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don't go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don't say, "I'm not eating carbs right now." Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom's recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It's easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don't. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
This post originally appeared on hopeave.wordpress.com.
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I love all of it except the line about kale, since it belongs in a trash can =P0 -
As a Mom of two girls (5 and 2), I'm struggling with this already. Thanks for the lovely post!0
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I really really hope everyone in this thread: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10115765/help-my-20-year-old-daughter-is-a-closet-eater/p1 reads this one.0
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This should be viewed by all mothers and daughters. Truly words to live by. Acceptance of yourself and others as you are. Kind of the "Golden Rule" expanded upon.
Thanks for posting!0 -
Love it. My daughter is only 2, and I'm trying to emphasize how awesome it is that she's strong. Seriously, her squat form makes me jealous.0
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I was raised in the generation when being on a diet was the thing to do. Everyone was doing it. Sadly, I did not do as good a job with my daughter. I'm just so proud she made whatever changes she has made to do it completely right with my granddaughter.0
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Luckily my daughter is doing this with my granddaughter, I wish I had done it with her.0
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hollydubs85 wrote: »Love it. My daughter is only 2, and I'm trying to emphasize how awesome it is that she's strong. Seriously, her squat form makes me jealous.
The truth!
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lishie_rebooted wrote: »
I love all of it except the line about kale, since it belongs in a trash can =P
How did you get a picture of my boyfriend??
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I need to send this to my mom! She actually put her hand on my arm when we were out to eat and said "You've made such incredible progress! When you're done losing weight, I want to go with you to a plastic surgeon for a skin removal consultation". Needless to say, I was kind of offended... it's nice that she recognizes how hard I've worked, but jeezuz, thanks for telling me I'm still not "perfect".0
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Love this!! Great reminder ... thanks for posting 0
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I think this is an important way of talking to any child about their body, Daughter or Son. Boys are also subject to creepy pressure about their bodies.0
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JenniDaisy wrote: »I think this is an important way of talking to any child about their body, Daughter or Son. Boys are also subject to creepy pressure about their bodies.
Great point. That was my thought, as well.
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Yeah, this is amazing. I was overweight my whole life until a few years ago and my mom was always so good at this. My mom is a tiny little thing and she never, ever said anything about how my body looks or my eating habits. She encouraged me to do activities I enjoyed and to try new things but never forced me to do (or not to do) anything. Even when I lost the weight she never commented on how my body looks, it was always about how she could tell I was so much happier and was proud of me and my dedication when I reached certain goals I set for myself (goal weight, first 5k/10k/half marathon, etc.). I will definitely keep this in mind if I ever have a daughter.0
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Here's the thing - this message is every bit as important for sons, brothers, fathers, uncles etc.
Men are every bit as vulnerable and susceptible to deeply rooted issues with how we see and judge our own reflection. Every bit as pressured to be fit and strong both physically and mentally, and shamed if we dare falter.
The only difference is, it's not nearly as talked about or acknowledged.0 -
Here's the thing - this message is every bit as important for sons, brothers, fathers, uncles etc.
Men are every bit as vulnerable and susceptible to deeply rooted issues with how we see and judge our own reflection. Every bit as pressured to be fit and strong both physically and mentally, and shamed if we dare falter.
The only difference is, it's not nearly as talked about or acknowledged.
Someone else just made this observation. I agree - but couldn't change the title of the article.
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Thanks for sharing this, not a parent, but probably will be one day, it seems like it is such an impossible venture to do well....0
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