Your 'Good' Intentions
wfarrens
Posts: 8 Member
I've been logging my food on MFP for about 4 months, but this is the first time I have posted anything to the forum. I'm fortunate to have found a rhythm that is working for me and I haven't needed much in the way of support from other MFP users. But I do see the popular threads on the home page and from time to time I'm drawn in by an intriguing title. Unfortunately it seems that in any posting, no matter how innocuous it starts out, there are individuals who feel the need to steer the conversation towards judging others, which is helpful to absolutely no one.
If you feel a need to attack, judge, or correct someone else's fitness plan, you are most likely projecting some unowned part of yourself onto that person. As an example, if you feel a need to criticize someone for taking a 'cheat day', you should check in with yourself and see what it is that you're longing for that is making you lash out. My guess is you really want a day off yourself, but you're so rigidly attached to your diet that you won't take one. How does this end? 99% of the time in an abandoned fitness plan because you were too busy observing everyone else too observe what was going on with you.
Maybe had you noticed, "wow, these posts are really bugging me. What's going on with me that would make me feel this way about something that doesn't affect me at all?", you could have identified what need it is that isn't being fulfilled and take action on it. Having your needs met then gives you the strength you need to move forward.
The thing about health is that it is a lifelong process and it is incredibly individualized. Well-intentioned or not, your unsolicited analysis of another person's efforts are not necessary or helpful. If someone posts saying they are confused or upset because they are not getting the results they were expecting, you might make a supportive suggestion of something that works for you, but keep in mind that just because something worked really well for you doesn't mean it works for everyone. But when someone is just trying to have a fun conversation about what their favorite 'cheat meal' is or vent about how hard it is to avoid certain foods, your judgements are not welcome.
Turn the gaze inward when you feel judgmental and look at yourself honestly. Are you getting everything that you need? Probably not. So take care of yourself first; I imagine you won't feel quite so critical once you have.
If you feel a need to attack, judge, or correct someone else's fitness plan, you are most likely projecting some unowned part of yourself onto that person. As an example, if you feel a need to criticize someone for taking a 'cheat day', you should check in with yourself and see what it is that you're longing for that is making you lash out. My guess is you really want a day off yourself, but you're so rigidly attached to your diet that you won't take one. How does this end? 99% of the time in an abandoned fitness plan because you were too busy observing everyone else too observe what was going on with you.
Maybe had you noticed, "wow, these posts are really bugging me. What's going on with me that would make me feel this way about something that doesn't affect me at all?", you could have identified what need it is that isn't being fulfilled and take action on it. Having your needs met then gives you the strength you need to move forward.
The thing about health is that it is a lifelong process and it is incredibly individualized. Well-intentioned or not, your unsolicited analysis of another person's efforts are not necessary or helpful. If someone posts saying they are confused or upset because they are not getting the results they were expecting, you might make a supportive suggestion of something that works for you, but keep in mind that just because something worked really well for you doesn't mean it works for everyone. But when someone is just trying to have a fun conversation about what their favorite 'cheat meal' is or vent about how hard it is to avoid certain foods, your judgements are not welcome.
Turn the gaze inward when you feel judgmental and look at yourself honestly. Are you getting everything that you need? Probably not. So take care of yourself first; I imagine you won't feel quite so critical once you have.
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Replies
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TL;DR mean people thread?0
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TavistockToad wrote: »TL;DR mean people thread?
Crap you stole my line verbatim.0 -
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If they post on a public board the comments aren't unsolicited....
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TavistockToad wrote: »
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I've been logging my food on MFP for about 4 months, but this is the first time I have posted anything to the forum. I'm fortunate to have found a rhythm that is working for me and I haven't needed much in the way of support from other MFP users. But I do see the popular threads on the home page and from time to time I'm drawn in by an intriguing title. Unfortunately it seems that in any posting, no matter how innocuous it starts out, there are individuals who feel the need to steer the conversation towards judging others, which is helpful to absolutely no one.
If you feel a need to attack, judge, or correct someone else's fitness plan, you are most likely projecting some unowned part of yourself onto that person. As an example, if you feel a need to criticize someone for taking a 'cheat day', you should check in with yourself and see what it is that you're longing for that is making you lash out. My guess is you really want a day off yourself, but you're so rigidly attached to your diet that you won't take one. How does this end? 99% of the time in an abandoned fitness plan because you were too busy observing everyone else too observe what was going on with you.
Maybe had you noticed, "wow, these posts are really bugging me. What's going on with me that would make me feel this way about something that doesn't affect me at all?", you could have identified what need it is that isn't being fulfilled and take action on it. Having your needs met then gives you the strength you need to move forward.
The thing about health is that it is a lifelong process and it is incredibly individualized. Well-intentioned or not, your unsolicited analysis of another person's efforts are not necessary or helpful. If someone posts saying they are confused or upset because they are not getting the results they were expecting, you might make a supportive suggestion of something that works for you, but keep in mind that just because something worked really well for you doesn't mean it works for everyone. But when someone is just trying to have a fun conversation about what their favorite 'cheat meal' is or vent about how hard it is to avoid certain foods, your judgements are not welcome.
Turn the gaze inward when you feel judgmental and look at yourself honestly. Are you getting everything that you need? Probably not. So take care of yourself first; I imagine you won't feel quite so critical once you have.
What's your favourite nutbutter?
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I find this post ironic.0
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I had someone message me the other daY out of the blue saying because I had a cheat day instead of cheat meals my progress would be ruined. Mind you I just commented what my cheat day was going to be on a topic asking about cheat meals. I never asked for advice nor do I need it. I was so pissed because I left facebook because I was tired of ppl stating their opinion on all my choices. If I ask for advice then fine but, just because I post my food choices doesn't give you a right to just give me your so called wisdom. Especially from a chick who was only logging for 3 freaking days!0
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I've been logging my food on MFP for about 4 months, but this is the first time I have posted anything to the forum. I'm fortunate to have found a rhythm that is working for me and I haven't needed much in the way of support from other MFP users. But I do see the popular threads on the home page and from time to time I'm drawn in by an intriguing title. Unfortunately it seems that in any posting, no matter how innocuous it starts out, there are individuals who feel the need to steer the conversation towards judging others, which is helpful to absolutely no one.
If you feel a need to attack, judge, or correct someone else's fitness plan,you are most likely projecting some unowned part of yourself onto that person.As an example, if you feel a need to criticize someone for taking a 'cheat day', you should check in with yourself and see what it is that you're longing for that is making you lash out.My guess is you really want a day off yourself, but you're so rigidly attached to your diet that you won't take one.How does this end? 99% of the time in an abandoned fitness plan because you were too busy observing everyone else too observe what was going on with you.
Maybe had you noticed, "wow, these posts are really bugging me. What's going on with me that would make me feel this way about something that doesn't affect me at all?", you could have identified what need it is that isn't being fulfilled and take action on it. Having your needs met then gives you the strength you need to move forward.
The thing about health is that it is a lifelong process and it is incredibly individualized. Well-intentioned or not, your unsolicited analysis of another person's efforts are not necessary or helpful. If someone posts saying they are confused or upset because they are not getting the results they were expecting, you might make a supportive suggestion of something that works for you, but keep in mind that just because something worked really well for you doesn't mean it works for everyone. But when someone is just trying to have a fun conversation about what their favorite 'cheat meal' is or vent about how hard it is to avoid certain foods, your judgements are not welcome.
urn the gaze inward when you feel judgmental and look at yourself honestly. Are you getting everything that you need? Probably not. So take care of yourself first; I imagine you won't feel quite so critical once you have
Please see bold, why so hypocritical?0 -
Interesting post, you criticize people for being critical.
As to soliciting comments; when one posts to a public forum, they are soliciting responses.0 -
Where did you get your degree in armchair psychology?0
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I like your post.0
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ThickMcRunFast wrote: »
I need a boyfriend like this.0 -
No0
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Dear Posters,
I wanted to offer a brief explanation for the locking of this thread.
The forum guidelines include this item:
2. No Hi-Jacking, Trolling, or Flame-baiting
Please stay on-topic within a forum topic. Off-topic or derogatory remarks are disrespectful. Please either contribute politely and constructively to a topic, or move on without posting.This includes posts that encourage the drama in a topic to escalate, or posts intended to incite an uproar from the community.
In many cases we are able to edit out the posts that violate this guideline, but unfortunately this particular thread has become too volatile to moderate efficiently.
If you would like to review the forum guidelines, please visit the following link:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines
At our discretion, this locked thread may be deleted entirely in the near future.
With respect,
Adam, MyFitnessPal Moderator0
This discussion has been closed.
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