bullying

Very tough situation. Almost anything you or your daughter do to protect your granddaughter could cause her problems. Best solution would be fore your grandaughter and this girl to talk it out.

Second bet thing would be for your grandaughter to fight back. Doesn't matter if she wins or loses the fight, as long as she stands up for herself.

I don't like bullies and have taught my girls that they don't have to take it. But before they come to me to resolve it, I want them to try and rersolve it themselves.

Sorry. Must be even worse for you as the grandparent. Where is the father?

My son was bullied relentlessly last year by a couple of kids. My son is a big boy- not only is he carrying around a few extra pounds but he is just built big... he is an iron man football player (he plays A and B squad- offense, defense, AND special teams) that means he hits the field and doesn't come off for two straight games- He is very strong and he knows it- so WHY would anyone feel the need to pick on him? He's the "big kid" and he was raised with compassion- he is kind. He isn't going to fight back because in his words "Mom, I will hurt them" The vice principle was about as helpful as a wart! My husband and I finally went into the principle's office and made it clear that we would not tolerate a phone call from the school telling us he is suspended or expelled when they refused to address the problem. The vice principle actually blamed my son!!! We went to the police station and put on record the harassment he was receiving- we didn't press charges- but we did let them hear the horrific voice mails left on my son's phone- and we told them how little the school was willing to do... we then told our son that while we don't condone violence- we would support him in what ever he felt was necessary actions to keep himself safe and to make it stop. The one kid ended up getting his butt kicked by someone else he was bullying and decided the life of a bully wasn't for him. The other kid ended up getting punched in the face by my son in a stairwell on the way to gym class- everyone present gave my son a round of applause and "saw nothing." He hasn't said anything to me in a long time about people picking on him- the one thing I am very proud of as a mother- my boys know and they do- come to me with their problems- we have a very open line of communication....

Firstly, let me say how sorry I am to read that this has been happening to your granddaughter. She probably was stunned when this happened.

I can tell you that bullying is what it is today, because of many factors. With the media and the internet, everything is in your face. While it is great to have access to so much information at any moment, there is less and less filtration. When I was a kid (I am about to turn 41) if a something was coming on TV that my parents didn't want me to see or hear about, they would tell me to leave the room. We only had one TV in our home, so off I went to do something else. Now, if a parent did the same, the kid could easily walk into another room in the house use a TV or a computer to check out the forbidden without much thought or effort. If you look at the headlines today, you can see why violence is so ramped up.

The assassination of Osama bin Laden was a really hard one to explain to my 10 year olds. Here our military has successfully brought justice for thousands of americans and people are literally celebrating in the streets. My heart was elated at this news. But, it was really difficult to find the right words to explain how killing this man and the others who died in the mission was justified.

My point is, raising kids to today is even more difficult then it was 20, 30, 40 years ago. Some will disagree, but I truly believe that it is. I wouldn't want to be a teenager today in the age of digital camera's, cell phones and the internet. No thanks. I made my foolish teenage mistakes rather quietly, back in the 80's. My business was not splashed all over Facebook for the world to see. I am thankful for that.

For every one of us who is determined to raise our kids to be productive members of society, there seems to be 3 or 4 who just don't really care. I guess we are all products of the environment in which we are raised. If I were your daughter, I would be on this like nobodies business. The teachers, the principal and even the superintendent would be hearing from me constantly until the situation were properly addressed. I would also be knocking on the door of the kid who had the audacity to put her hands on my child. In advocating for your kids, you are teaching them how to stand up for themselves and to one day advocate for their own children.

Again, sorry it happened to your granddaughter.

My daughter asked my granddaughter what she did when this happened and my granddaughter said she did nothing in response because and I quote her statement, "I didn't do anything because I'm a nice person" and she was in tears.

the granddaughter should be commended on this. Fighting back will only make her just as bad as the person who hit her. true, sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves but fighting back isn't the way to go about it - what your grandaughter did was stand up for her beliefs - well done her.

It does need to be taken further though - physical assault is physical assault and the school staff should have a policy to deal with bullying.

My son was bullied relentlessly last year by a couple of kids. My son is a big boy- not only is he carrying around a few extra pounds but he is just built big... he is an iron man football player (he plays A and B squad- offense, defense, AND special teams) that means he hits the field and doesn't come off for two straight games- He is very strong and he knows it- so WHY would anyone feel the need to pick on him? He's the "big kid" and he was raised with compassion- he is kind. He isn't going to fight back because in his words "Mom, I will hurt them" The vice principle was about as helpful as a wart! My husband and I finally went into the principle's office and made it clear that we would not tolerate a phone call from the school telling us he is suspended or expelled when they refused to address the problem. The vice principle actually blamed my son!!! We went to the police station and put on record the harassment he was receiving- we didn't press charges- but we did let them hear the horrific voice mails left on my son's phone- and we told them how little the school was willing to do... we then told our son that while we don't condone violence- we would support him in what ever he felt was necessary actions to keep himself safe and to make it stop. The one kid ended up getting his butt kicked by someone else he was bullying and decided the life of a bully wasn't for him. The other kid ended up getting punched in the face by my son in a stairwell on the way to gym class- everyone present gave my son a round of applause and "saw nothing." He hasn't said anything to me in a long time about people picking on him- the one thing I am very proud of as a mother- my boys know and they do- come to me with their problems- we have a very open line of communication....

Good for your son!!!

These kids are ridiculous these days! I just don't get it. We had bullying in my day but now they take it to a whole other level!

I'd call the cops, the school, and the bully's parents.

If the bullying continued, I'd call a lawyer.

I know this is not right to say, but your granddaughter needs to beat the stuffing out this girl one good time. This girl obviously thinks she will not fight back. If she lays her low one good time maybe she will think twice before she slaps her again. Your granddaughter is not to blame but she is an easy target when nothing happens to this girl. I don't advocate fighting but I can't stand to hear about some spoiled brat beating on a good kid for no reason either and wouldn't want it to happen to mine. If this isn't a good option, I think I would get the authorities involved. Life is scary these days. Kids are nuts. I know it was the same when we were growing up but it scares me for my own kids. I wouldn't want them to keep taking it though. Maybe she can surround her self with her friends too and try to avoid being alone around this girl where she feels powerless. Good luck to you both.

When I was in middle school/high school, I wasn't physically bullied but definitely verbally. First off, girls, especially teenage girls, are just MEAN. The movie Mean Girls really says it all. When I was 15 I started dating a guy and for whatever reason my best friend, the girl who was like my sister, turned on me. She started spreading the nastiest rumors about me. By the end of the school year I seriously had one friend. What made it worse is that my mom and I do not get along and never have. So I was basically alone in this. It is hard and it can really hurt a teenage girls self esteem when these things happen, I know because of experience. But I think that if your daughter and grandaughter are close, it will definitely help. The best thing to do is to let her know that this is NOT her fault and that she is amazing for being the bigger person here and not fighting back. This bully will end up getting hers in the end because what goes around comes around. I am not sure if you are religious at all, but if you are, you can always remind her that Jesus said to turn the other cheek. Supporting her and being there for her is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing any of you can do right now. Don't let her feel like she is alone. Does she have other friends? Her real friends will be there for her and back her up no matter what. Make sure she knows that too. And I would definitely report the slapping to the school. Did it happen at school? If so, there should be repercussions for this young lady.
The best of luck to you and I will keep you all in my thoughts!!!

I believe there's definitely not enough discipline nowadays...
I'd like to hear peoples' opinions on this.

I couldn't agree more!

If the school is unwilling/unable to deal with the issue, you are more than welcome to report the assault (because that's what is was,) to the Police for them to take action!

I believe there's definitely not enough discipline nowadays...
I'd like to hear peoples' opinions on this.

I couldn't agree more!

If the school is unwilling/unable to deal with the issue, you are more than welcome to report the assault (because that's what is was,) to the Police for them to take action!

I agree. I don't have kids yet, but when I do you can bet their little bottoms will get a spanking if they deserve it. I'm not talking beating them, but there is nothing wrong with spanking. I was spanked when I was little and I'm still alive today. I think parents are scared anymore though, with everybody so quick to scream abuse.

Depending on the situation yes.
Otherwise you get the kids that run around screaming in the grocery store........

My daughter is in 3rd grade and I've already had a few bouts of bullying to deal with - it's all been verbal "I don't like what you're wearing" type of stuff.

I have done some reading on bullying and the psychological effect - I remember my mom telling me to "Ignore them" - that's the WORST thing you can do. If you or one of your friends are being bullied you need to SAY something - if you say something than that has more impact than "ignoring them". I have instilled that in both of my kids because if you let it go and let the bully pick on your friend - it might be your turn the next day!

Now my dad used to tell me "Don't you come home till you beat the tar out of 'em" and I don't like encouraging my kids to fight, but that piece of advice did work for me. LOL

I would say the next time your granddaughter finds herself in that situation, she needs to report it to the school officials IMMEDIATELY and have the school start calling parents in.

Seriously this other girl assualted your granddaughter - she at least needs to be charged w/ assault and sent to some anger management. It would be nice if the school disciplined the other girl as well, but I'd be asking the school "I thought you were mandatory reporters, has this assault been reported to the police?" and see what they say.....

Ugh, now i know what to look forward when my daughter goes to high school. LOL Great!

Well i am a expert on being picked on...at least for a girls point of view. I was never shoved in a locker but i was thrown in a trash can....i really was.

I am that kind of person like your granddaughter. I know that sometimes reporting it may cause it to get worse but you should def report it. I would suggest telling your granddaughter to say nice comments to the person. Though this may be hard for someone.... judging by your description......she should have no problems doing it because she sounds like a very nice and caring person. I have done it many times......someone will slap me and i just say thank you......or i tell them i like their hair..just something nice. It really throws them off....its like wait what i just slapped you and you said my hair looks awesome.

Kindness really does remove defensiveness.

I hope this stops soon:flowerforyou: