Spouse that is not supportive

ruffneckred wrote: »

Thanks for all the responses. My wife is also overweight and has been since a child, being overweight is somewhat new to me. I want us both to lose weight, not just to be happier and healthier, but to set an example for our overweight daughter. Our living arrangement has me working long hours and her being a stay at home mom, so my cooking (if I could call it that) doesn't work well when I roll in late and have a short time to eat before bed. She doesn't plan meals out very well or far in advance, but I have always accepted her the way she is. MFP has definitely opened my eyes to portion control, but my perfectionist flaw of counting calories exactly may escalate my baldness.. Thanks for the input

There are the planners (me) and the spontaneous flutter-bye's we marry. I'd rather have my meal planned in the morning. He likes to decide at the last minute. Life is more fun his way. He reminds me to live in the moment and I remind him to eat his vegetables.

I see your desire for a new life for your whole family, but your wife has to be ready to face this head-on. It's a big deal. Maybe with a counselor if she's willing.

I raised my children as a single parent and worked full-time. So I think anyone, no matter how busy, can prepare a meal or two. I suggest you take a meal a week; perhaps on the weekend. You might prepare a crock-pot meal that is put together in the morning, and you can put it on a timer or let your wife know when to turn it off.

People keep saying to eat smaller portions but the problem with that advice for me is that I have to quit eating before I'm full.

My OH was diagnosed with Liver Cancer in December and due to his treatments is now on a high calorie intake to offset the effects of Radiation treatment. So I usually eat before he gets home from work and sit with him during his meal with a piece of fruit, cup of yogurt etc. It is a little difficult at first, but now doesn't even bother me as I really am full when he eats. If you think about it . . . . we are doing this for a life change and to be fit and will always be around temptations, so get your mindset right and push thru. You GOT THIS.

ruffneckred wrote: »

Thanks for all the responses. My wife is also overweight and has been since a child, being overweight is somewhat new to me. I want us both to lose weight, not just to be happier and healthier, but to set an example for our overweight daughter. Our living arrangement has me working long hours and her being a stay at home mom, so my cooking (if I could call it that) doesn't work well when I roll in late and have a short time to eat before bed. She doesn't plan meals out very well or far in advance, but I have always accepted her the way she is. MFP has definitely opened my eyes to portion control, but my perfectionist flaw of counting calories exactly may escalate my baldness.. Thanks for the input

Focus on your own journey. You cnat make her lose weight if she isnt interested. She will resist. Focus on yourself.

You cna set an example for your daughter, stop using your wife as an excuse and an issue she doesnt have to be.

Cook for yourself you cna either keep it really simple and fast or pre preapre stuff so you jusy tahve to warm it up when you get in. Let your wife cook for herself if she isnt going to cook anything that will support your journey.

Counting calories is important, but you are in serious danger of looking for issues rather than keep what it is you have to do SIMPLE and making sure you achieve it.

annied1961 wrote: »

Dig thru the photo album and find a earlier picture of the two of you when you were first married.
Younger,thinner and first starting out.
Tape it to the fridge.
Then write one word above it.
Beautiful !!!
Give her time to remember she'll follow your lead.

I have a feeling you're not married...or perhaps just don't understand that this likely isn't a good motivator, but more like an accusation...