Losing weight, but cant tell...I guess

rscunu
rscunu Posts: 37 Member
edited November 15 in Motivation and Support
I'm a big woman, I get that. But you would think after losing nearly 30 lbs someone would notice?

I mean I feel better about myself, I bought some new close for work because I'm down a pant size, shirts, new jeans etc. Not that I'm phishing for "you look hot" but "hey, are you losing weight?" or even "new shirt? it looks nice." It would just make my day, you know?

end rant.
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Replies

  • megsta91
    megsta91 Posts: 92 Member
    Trust me, I know the feeling! It's like you're so excited to see the scale dropping, and you want it reciprocated through your friends and family. I remember my best friend was losing weight, about 40lbs total, and I honestly couldn't tell a huge difference until she bought new clothes. Then I seen her walking through work parking lot and I'm likr wtf?!?! It's like she got skinny overnight!
  • SeriouslySta
    SeriouslySta Posts: 458 Member
    edited April 2015
    Yep, I know: I'm at 32 pounds lost and not one person has noticed.

    Not one.

    (I haven't bought new clothes, but I'm wearing 'new' old ones.)

    Still,
    the dog gets excited when I put on The Socks and The Shoes that mean we are going for a nice, long walk,
    and
    I don't get tired going up and down the stairs - and I can carry the overloaded laundry baskets, to boot,
    and
    I can do lots of little things that I didn't even realize that, somewhere along the way, I had quit being able to do...

    So, hang in there! One of these days, someone will be shocked to suddenly notice how different you look - and that will be nothing, compared to how different you feel!
  • Do not feel sad about it! You are loosing the weight for yourself, not for the others. Be happy! :)
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    I started at 232 - no one really noticed until I lost about 40 pounds. I would suggest you focus on how you feel and find happiness in that, rather than needing someone else to notice/comment. I don't mean this in a mean way at all (I feel like it sounds mean). I just mean that throughout this whole process, no one is going to care what you're doing really. You have to find those feelings in you.

    Good luck.
  • memedandy1
    memedandy1 Posts: 10 Member
    edited April 2015
    Sometimes it can also be more difficult for people that see you everyday to really notice because they have been watching the changes that have been slowly taking place. It is when you see someone that you haven't seen in awhile that can really have them notice the changes. My favorite quote from my sister-in-law was, "It's like someone put you in the dryer and you shrunk." Don't worry you'll get that feedback, that is oh so nice to hear, as long as you keep doing what is good for you and your health!
  • JessieLMay
    JessieLMay Posts: 146 Member
    I know that all too well. Very discouraging. but then I gain weight and people can tell, but THEN they ask if I'm losing weight. Very weird lol. But yes, I lost 20lbs once and no one mentioned it at a family gathering. I gave up hope and ended up stopping, and gained it all back. I figure as long as my clothes are getting looser and I can tell, I am going to stop expecting people to notice or mention that they notice.
  • dbienz
    dbienz Posts: 188 Member
    Do not feel sad about it! You are loosing the weight for yourself, not for the others. Be happy! :)

    ^^ THIS. YES YES YES THIS! :smiley:
  • gle8442
    gle8442 Posts: 126 Member
    Don't worry, it just takes time. I think people also tend not to say anything unless they are really sure you have lost (otherwise it might be awkward!). No one at my job noticed until I had lost 40 lbs!
  • blossomingbutterfly
    blossomingbutterfly Posts: 743 Member
    I've lost 45 lbs and only two people have said anything. Though, this is my second time around losing weight (first time on MFP for it) and I have to say, a lot of people are probably scared to say something. Think of it this way, imagine they were to say something but you weren't actually losing weight or whatnot, they might think that they might accidentally offend you. I'm sure they just don't want to be nosy or pry into your business too much or whatever. One person that told me I was was at work, she told me she's been trying too and I'm her hero. She also told me others have noticed but are scared to say anything to hurt me or offend me or don't know how to approach it.

    Don't worry about others - you are doing this for yourself! ;) Be proud of your accomplishment thus far!
  • thatguynick
    thatguynick Posts: 106 Member
    You are awesome and doing great! Don't get discouraged by the Captain Oblivious' in your life!
  • sandyskw1967
    sandyskw1967 Posts: 59 Member
    I've so far lost 52 and only 2 persons have said anything. I know I'm losing for me and I do feel great but even if a couple more people said something it would just feel like really all this work was actually accomplishing something. Personally I know it is because I'm down several sizes, you,d think several sizes would be noticable. It's weird because part of me would like people to notice and part of doesn't. I always felt a little out of place and not noticed, part of me likes it that way and part of me likes to be noticed more (but not too much)
  • Afura
    Afura Posts: 2,054 Member
    lol I understand it. You worked hard, so come one people, look at what I've done! Which sounds terrible narcissist but in this case it isn't. :smiley: The thing to remember is that some people don't want to embarrass you by bringing up weight, so they may not say anything. But you still know it. Awww yeah.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Take a lot of pictures today so you can look back in four weeks. Keep taking pictures. <3
  • DaneanP
    DaneanP Posts: 433 Member
    I was thinking about this the other day. I look and feel so much better now, why hasn't anyone noticed? Then I asked myself, "When was the last time I asked someone if they had lost weight?" "When was the last time I complimented someone on their appearance?"

    Now I'm focusing on saying positive things to others I come in contact with. Not lies, just little nice things that will hopefully make them smile. What goes around, comes around.
  • jaliving
    jaliving Posts: 57 Member
    ...a lot of people are probably scared to say something...

    +1

  • I lost 42 lbs when my husband was away for basic training and he said he couldn't tell a difference. Before i jumped the gun and got hurt over it, i realized i was only down 1 or 2 pants sizes and that's kinda difficult for the average person to notice. Unfortunately people tend to only pick up on drastic differences most of the time.... That being said, keep up the hard work and some day soon someone is going to say "WOW" :blush: don't rely on others to make you happy, you are doing amazing! :)
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
    I've lost 17lbs since December and no one has noticed. Size 12 to an 8. 6 jeans. But I didn't do it for people to notice I did it because I felt like crap.

    Even my BF after 15lbs said he couldn't see a difference. For him, he's noticing my clothes are much smaller and they fit, so therefore I must be smaller.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
    I lost over 60lbs, which is a LOT for my 5'2" bod. NO one noticed (or commented at least) until I'd lost about 25-30lbs. Not even DH.

    After about 40lbs, I couldn't shut people up. It was like my weight loss was the ONLY topic of conversation in the office. Became a bit overwhelming TBH, especially at conferences where I had about 40 people coming up to me within the space of an hour to talk about my weight!

    I still get comments but I've learned to be more gracious.

    So my advice? Enjoy the peace while you can!!
  • HealthyFitJess
    HealthyFitJess Posts: 16 Member
    DaneanP wrote: »
    I was thinking about this the other day. I look and feel so much better now, why hasn't anyone noticed? Then I asked myself, "When was the last time I asked someone if they had lost weight?" "When was the last time I complimented someone on their appearance?"

    Now I'm focusing on saying positive things to others I come in contact with. Not lies, just little nice things that will hopefully make them smile. What goes around, comes around.

    -THIS! I lost 14lbs and recently hung out with two people I hadn't seen in months but they said nothing about the weight loss. Meanwhile, one of them showed me pictures of someone else who had lost a lot of weight and it was quite noticeable and I realized that (1) it may be difficult for people to see changes that aren't drastic like in the photo that was shared with me (2) I should compliment the woman in the photos for her transformation and (3) remember, that I am doing this for me and I feel pretty good. That's all that matters!
  • dawniemate
    dawniemate Posts: 395 Member
    hi, i have lost 17lbs and feel better and even though i cant tell to look at me i thought other people may notice...no one commented!... However the other day i saw a friend at work who had lost a considerable amount of weight and i told her how well she looked for it etc,,, then everyone in the place i work said they had noticed i had lost weight but didnt say anything in case it upset me !!!!! They said they didnt want me to to think i was fat to start with... i was fat lol.......i think what im trying to say is that people notice but dont always comment in case they upset you or maybe they are jealous!! have a great day !!!!
  • bulk_n_cut
    bulk_n_cut Posts: 389 Member
    edited April 2015
    you're not "big", you are/were fat. shaq is big. yao ming is big

    and congrats on the loss, screw what others think. keep on losing (winning)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,630 Member
    I sort of know the feeling ...

    According to the scale, I've lost 8 kg ...

    But I'm still in the same clothes.
    I don't feel like I'm any smaller.
    When I look at myself in the mirror, sometimes I think I might possibly look a teensy bit smaller, but then I look again, and I don't see a difference.
    No one has said anything ... not even on a day when I tried to dress in something nice and a little more figure flattering.

    And then ... there was a photo of me taken with friends when I had lost about 5 kg, and I look just as big or bigger than I imagined myself.

    And then ... we had to do a short video for a class in uni just the other day, after I had lost the 8 kg, and ... oh dear. I look huge in that video.

    But apparently I've lost 8 kg.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    i remember that feeling it was so annoying. i thought all that work i am doing and they cant be bothered to notice and then one day they started to notice and comment. i must admit i do like the comments. There will always be a few people who will not say a word even after dropping a considerable few dress sizes. I have a few close friends like that.

    p.s not everyone is comfortable with taking compliments about their weight loss, its a sensitive area. so sometimes you cant win so people stay quiet.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Gosh I cant believe how important this is to people. Id just be inwardly happy and pleased with myself about the weight loss. You will see it yourself in the mirror, realise the loss will be there tomorrow as well and be quietly pleased with yourself. Needing others to recognise weight loss just doesnt rank for me. Some people will feel its not their place to say anything for others it wont be an issue.
  • bunnywestley81
    bunnywestley81 Posts: 178 Member
    People who see you all the time don't notice. My mum in law is more likely to notice than my work colegues.

    I didn't notice i lost 20lb til i ran downstairs n my jeans fell off!!

    Also people sometimes don't feel comfortable bringing it up.

    Its the "are you pregnant?" Question. When is it ok to ask someone if they are pregnant? I'd go with never. If you're wrong it makes the person feel poo. I should know...its happened several times in the past!
  • hupsii
    hupsii Posts: 258 Member
    People who see you all the time don't notice. My mum in law is more likely to notice than my work colegues.

    I didn't notice i lost 20lb til i ran downstairs n my jeans fell off!!

    Also people sometimes don't feel comfortable bringing it up.

    Its the "are you pregnant?" Question. When is it ok to ask someone if they are pregnant? I'd go with never. If you're wrong it makes the person feel poo. I should know...its happened several times in the past!

    yeah that's horrid !!!!! I will never comment on anybody's gain or loss. My boss lost over 30 lbs and talks about it constantly. This is soooo boring - or perhaps I am just jealous ... guess the latter ;)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,630 Member
    999tigger wrote: »
    Gosh I cant believe how important this is to people. Id just be inwardly happy and pleased with myself about the weight loss. You will see it yourself in the mirror, realise the loss will be there tomorrow as well and be quietly pleased with yourself. Needing others to recognise weight loss just doesnt rank for me. Some people will feel its not their place to say anything for others it wont be an issue.

    Nevermind other people, I just wish I could see it myself.

  • JohaneLemay
    JohaneLemay Posts: 1 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it... what matters most is really about how you feel about yourself, everything else will fall into place :)... keep up the good work !!! :D
  • dorkyfaery
    dorkyfaery Posts: 255 Member
    You may find when you do start to hear it you wish they'd stop. I've lost clost to 40 pounds but haven't lost very much at all in the past 6 months or so, yet people are still stopping me in the halls at work to mention it. On one hand, I suppose I'm glad it's noticable but honestly I'm not one who really wants attention on my body so I kinda wish they would just stop mentioning it.
  • chmill24
    chmill24 Posts: 12 Member
    I'll echo the suggestion to regularly take pictures. You see yourself everyday so your mind gets used to the slow changes and doesn't 'notice' the weight lose. I've taken a picture of myself end of every month for the last 2 years. During the loss it showed me progress was bring made. Even though they can be hard to look at now, as I see how out of shape I had let myself go, it reminds me how far I've come. Also gives motivation to keep it off.
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