not really fun and games

Just say a few people asked if he was autistic. If there's a pattern like that, they might look into it. I would not present them with any materials or information, because they could take that the wrong way. If they don't bother to research despite your telling them, so be it. You can adjust your approach according to the research, when they're not around.

My background: I'm a co-director of a non-profit social service organization that serves deaf individuals. On occasion, they're autistic as well.

I would simply give them what you've researched, and tell them what you said here: you're not a doctor, but it's been mentioned to you as a possibility and when you looked it up you thought they should look into it. Your local school district should have screening and early intervention services, so you could perhaps help them find that information if they want it. If they seem resistant, remind them that the screening can't hurt anything, and it's free, but that if there is a problem, early intervention will make so much difference in his progress and his ability to navigate through the world as he grows up.

Good luck.

This is a very sticky sitiuation. I think it depends on how long you have been with the family and how open they are. I have 4 kids. My dad really believed my middle daughter had characteristics of autism. He mentioned it so many times that I took her to the doctor to see/confirm he was wrong. She isn't autistic, BUT I wouldn't have thought of it unless he mentioned it. That being said, it is a sticky situation why you are discussing someone's child. If you have a good relationship with this family, maybe mention some of your concerns with the child during social settings, etc. and see how they feel. I hope it works out!!!

if you name the symptoms instead of the potential diagnosis, it (IMO) will be better received.

Something such as , "I have noticed that little Johnny does (insert behavior). This kind of thing worries me, and I was wondering whether you have ever brought it up with his doctor? Maybe it would be a good idea to look into this."

This may be better received than the very(!!!) scary "I think your kid is autistic." Most parents do not have any experience with that diagnosis, and all they are going to do is panic. Especially if your evidence is that you read about it on the internet. (I am not suggesting your research into this topic hasn't been valid, but if they know that's the source, it may be blown off because the internet can have sketchy info at times)

I'm a teacher, and I have had parents FREAK out when I tried to suggest a diagnosis, so this approach works well for me. That way, the professional is consulted, and they get to be the ones to deliver the diagnosis.

Best wishes, Hon, that's a tough spot.:flowerforyou:

Tell them what you wrote here...that you love their son and all, but have some concerns re: certain behaviors he has. If they choose to ignore you or get angry, then so be it. If you are kind and obviously care about the boy, hopefully it'll come across that way to them. If nothing else, it'll certainly come up again when he hits school.

I agree with this post.

I have a ten-year-old half-brother who is autistic, and I am a college major in Communicative Disorders/Speech Pathology. Early intervention is a big deal in addressing and working with children on the spectrum, so I would recommend letting them know that he "shows specific traits" that are associated with children on the autism spectrum.

Regardless of their reaction, I feel that it's important for the parents to be made aware of the possibility. If we had known my brother would be diagnosed before he was 2 years old, we could've gotten ahead with our research and we would've better understood the reasons he seemed to have "colic" symptoms as an infant. He has sensory integration disorder, which means that he needs to feel a certain type of sensory input every 90 minutes. Scott's also on the "mild" end of the spectrum and while at times he seems like a pretty typical kid, he has severe aggressive behaviors multiple times daily, which often wind up with at least one of us in tears or banged up from his attempts to injure us. He obsesses over certain things (the color red, the number 1 and winning, Super Mario, racing, cars, and is hypnotized by objects that spin. Has been since he was an infant we realize. He's been known to spin various objects.). Imitates sounds and phrases on TV or in general. Doesn't sleep on his own at night because he needs sensory input (deep pressure, like a tight hug or squeeze, usually around his torso. He runs into us and objects in the house to feel the impact and receive the sensory input) and he doesn't stay asleep at night because his brain doesn't generate a neurochemical (melatonin) important to that function. He has CONSTANT and aggressive power struggles and fights over everything, especially in transition from one activity to another that he doesn't necessarily want to do. He also may seem like he isn't listening, but actually he hears everything that is said to him (and some things that are not).

Overall, it is important that the parents are brought to this information. If they're hostile, eventually they will find out the truth. It is a very delicate matter. I recommend mentioning that people acknowledged that he seemed to show signs of being on the autism spectrum. This way, they can either take or leave your notion and possibly find out information on their own. It seems very obvious that you care a lot about him and want what is best for him. I hope that for his sake they will trust your judgment on the matter and take it seriously.

Good luck!