Powerless to food addiction
eabiss9
Posts: 14 Member
I have a confession to make. Due to my emotional addiction to food, I have been taking Adderall to suppress my appetite and give me much needed energy on and off for over a year. When I am on this medication, I work out hard, I eat a healthy balanced diet, and I feel fantastic. However, it exacerbates my heart issues which scares me off of the medication. I go off of it and emotionally eat, particularly at night, until I'm in severe pain. This happens every single day no matter how much support I seek, articles I read, distractions I create, runs/strength training I do, and therapy visits I go to. I feel powerless and hopeless. I gain the weight I lost on adderall back within less than a month and then some. It's absolutely miserable and I feel entirely out of control.
This is where I'm at. It sucks. I feel no different than a drug addict. I want to change, I know how badly I feel after I binge, and yet I fall into the same exact miserable pattern time after time. Am I alone?
This is where I'm at. It sucks. I feel no different than a drug addict. I want to change, I know how badly I feel after I binge, and yet I fall into the same exact miserable pattern time after time. Am I alone?
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Replies
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No you are not alone, many people eat emotionally and chose to take no control over it. In the end it is your choice how you deal with your emotions. If you can't change on your own you may want to seek professional help, but the power to chose to overcome lies with you!0
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I'm so sorry you feel so badly right now. One thing is for sure- the adderall has to stop! What good is weight loss if you are dead? Have you tried Wellbutrin or something else to help you with the cravings/urges?0
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You claim two different issues ... food addiction and emotional eating. If the eating is truly a response to emotional stimuli, the key to controlling the eating is addressing the emotional aspect.
Is the doctor that prescribes the Adderall aware of your emotional eating issues?0 -
Hi Eabiss, sorry to hear about your worries about the over eating. I have a similar problem, but the irony is that the more we think about the "addiction" side of it, the more obsessed we become and the more anxiety this creates. The anxiety that we have created then creates a set of pattern of behavior that re-inforce the thought that we are addicts. (We use food to self-medicate). Then we convince ourselves that we are addicts then reinforce the behavior again. It becomes a vicious cycle.
I have looked into cognitive behavior therapy as it makes us look at our behavior and patterns and helps identify triggers. Have you explored this? There is stuff online about it. Have you considered writing down your triggers and finding a practical "solution" e.g. waiting 10 minutes before starting a binge? Eating slowly? Not letting yourself become ravenous before a meal etc.
One "trigger" for me is eating too late (e.g. eating at 1.00pm or 1.30pm lunch or 7.00pm dinner is also too late for me) . For me, I have to eat enough so that I don't feel deprived and not eating "late".
When I have a bad day, I am eating around 3,000 calories a day, 6 out of 7 days a week. Hence I have become obese. I am carrying 4 stone too much weight and it is really horrible. I used to be slim.
I have started giving myself slow and realistic goals. Tracking my meals and eating enough so I am not hungry. 1,800 calories a day is where I am starting. I am allowing generous calorie portion so that I am now hungry and allow a treat straight after my meal instead of snacking on rubbish.
I think tracking is essential. I think you need to identify your triggers and be honest with yourself, and have realistic and achievable goals. Don't be hard on yourself, love yourself and be kind to yourself. "Addiction" is a label, but there has been scientific research on effect of certain types of food. For example, WHEAT is AWFUL as in the west WHEAT has been tampered with.
AVOID WHEAT in your diet and keep a food diary, instead have rye bread and crackers. I link Fincrisp and Ryvita and oat cakes. Also PROTEIN is SATIATING eating a 70/30 ratio so that PROTEIN fills you up. Boiled eggs are GREAT. So is turkey and bacon, tuna is good too.
You REALLY CAN take back control. Ditch the "addict" tag and start experimenting with ditching WHEAT for a while see how feel. Keep a food diary. Track your meals. Good luck Eabiss. You can do it!0 -
Oh here we go...0
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What kind of foods do you binge on? Could you replace them with healthy vegetable alternatives? When I'm hungry at night I drink a lot of water (like 1L), then go to bed. I may lay awake for a while, but I don't get back out of bed (unless I have to pee lol). Have you tried meditation? Also, who does the shopping in your house? If it's you, maybe your partner could go instead. And if it's your partner, ask them not to buy the food that causes you to binge.0
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I would strongly recommend seeing a therapist to work through your emotional eating. Drugs are fine for a short term fix, but if you can learn coping mechanisms other than eating you will go far towards a lifetime solution.0
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Thanks for your response. I actually did work with a therapist and utilized CBT for over a year but moved away from my home state two years ago and the new therapist I see does not utilize the technique. I have had this issue my entire life and it's a constant struggle as it seems like you know.
I meditate often and read self help books every single day. I listen to audio books twice a day on my commutes and have tried many mindful practices (such as mindful eating at a table, no screens, much chewing, fork down between bites, assessing hunger throughout) but I end up wandering in the kitchen with a spoon and go to town with almond butter and bananas. Last evening I ate so much I was in tears from the pain. It was awful and it blows my mind that that doesn't deter me in the future.
I only eat spouted grains. No "whole wheat" or white flours. I have been a vegetarian for over 7 years and a vegan on and off for many years. I eat clean and do not consume preservatives, articifically dyes, flavors, or additives. I do NOT eat processed ANYTHING. I binge, thankfully, on clean health food such as home made guacamole, raw nut butters, fruits/veggies, and sprouted grain cereals. I NEVER ever binge on junk and I haven't had fast food in years.
I have kept both a food and emotional journal on and off for months which does help. MFP forces me to actually see the habits I continue. I do work out 4-5 days a week when I am in my routine. It helps. I have been off of Adderall for over a week and do not plan on starting again. I know I need to dig deep and find my motivation and will power without the aid of deadly drugs.
It's a struggle for sure. But it is oddly comforting to know I'm not alone.Hi Eabiss, sorry to hear about your worries about the over eating. I have a similar problem, but the irony is that the more we think about the "addiction" side of it, the more obsessed we become and the more anxiety this creates. The anxiety that we have created then creates a set of pattern of behavior that re-inforce the thought that we are addicts. (We use food to self-medicate). Then we convince ourselves that we are addicts then reinforce the behavior again. It becomes a vicious cycle.
I have looked into cognitive behavior therapy as it makes us look at our behavior and patterns and helps identify triggers. Have you explored this? There is stuff online about it. Have you considered writing down your triggers and finding a practical "solution" e.g. waiting 10 minutes before starting a binge? Eating slowly? Not letting yourself become ravenous before a meal etc.
One "trigger" for me is eating too late (e.g. eating at 1.00pm or 1.30pm lunch or 7.00pm dinner is also too late for me) . For me, I have to eat enough so that I don't feel deprived and not eating "late".
When I have a bad day, I am eating around 3,000 calories a day, 6 out of 7 days a week. Hence I have become obese. I am carrying 4 stone too much weight and it is really horrible. I used to be slim.
I have started giving myself slow and realistic goals. Tracking my meals and eating enough so I am not hungry. 1,800 calories a day is where I am starting. I am allowing generous calorie portion so that I am now hungry and allow a treat straight after my meal instead of snacking on rubbish.
I think tracking is essential. I think you need to identify your triggers and be honest with yourself, and have realistic and achievable goals. Don't be hard on yourself, love yourself and be kind to yourself. "Addiction" is a label, but there has been scientific research on effect of certain types of food. For example, WHEAT is AWFUL as in the west WHEAT has been tampered with.
AVOID WHEAT in your diet and keep a food diary, instead have rye bread and crackers. I link Fincrisp and Ryvita and oat cakes. Also PROTEIN is SATIATING eating a 70/30 ratio so that PROTEIN fills you up. Boiled eggs are GREAT. So is turkey and bacon, tuna is good too.
You REALLY CAN take back control. Ditch the "addict" tag and start experimenting with ditching WHEAT for a while see how feel. Keep a food diary. Track your meals. Good luck Eabiss. You can do it!
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Thanks for the support and motivation
I do see a therapist but haven't been in a couple of months. I have an appointment this Friday. We have discussed my food issue but I think it's time to really dig deep and find a solution. I consider myself very intuitive, emotionally intelligent, and self reflective, but i cannot pinpoint one primary cause. I believe it's a collaboration of emotional stressors. Lack of control (especially in my childhood), the loss of the mother last year, multiple career changes in the past 5 years, moving 400 miles from home, and a very limited social life has compiled over the years...deep depression has been a part of my life since middle school. I've been on more medications than I could count and have had nothing but awful side effects which end up making me feel worse after a few weeks of bliss. I am committed to getting emotionally healthy the old fashioned way.
Work works.never2bstopped wrote: »No you are not alone, many people eat emotionally and chose to take no control over it. In the end it is your choice how you deal with your emotions. If you can't change on your own you may want to seek professional help, but the power to chose to overcome lies with you!
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That's tough. It must be so distressing to find yourself doing this each day. No, you're not alone, but it's bound to feel lonely a lot of the time when you're suffering like that.
If you've done CBT, meditate, utilize mindfulness, read self-help books, work out several times a week, keep a diary and more you've definitely put the effort in. These things are great in many cases but sometimes they can't get at the roots of the problem.
I don't know what kind of therapist you see now. However, if they're trained in the kind of long-term talking therapy that can dip deep below the surface then try to stick with them. If they're not like that, maybe it would be worth seeing if you can get such therapy. Something like psychoanalytical psychotherapy.
EDIT: From your last post I see that you're already thinking its time to dig deep. In that case I'll just chime in to say that, imo, that's a good thing.I'm not sure what you're getting at...?peachyfuzzle wrote: »Oh here we go...
Most likely the wheat debate potentially opening up there from the previous post to this one. Creeps up again and again.
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Sounds like you're in love with having problems, if you ask me.
And thanks for making picking up scripts every month a giant PITA. Appreciate it.-2 -
Lourdesong wrote: »Sounds like you're in love with having problems, if you ask me.
And thanks for making picking up scripts every month a giant PITA. Appreciate it.
Blunt, but if I'm honest, it's kind of what I was thinking also.
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What a great expanse of human understanding the last three posts demonstrate. /sarcasm
Nobody loves having a problem but some people sure do love being one.0 -
herrspoons wrote: »It's probably a better understanding than yours to be honest.
Cuddles and kisses don't solve problems, sweetie, especially when they're rooted in what looks like a case of Munchausen's.
Oh, you're being honest. You must be right then!
Munchausen Syndrome is an extremely rare disorder. Indulging in callous troll-like behaviour like you're doing in this thread is much more common, usually arising from a sadistic pleasure in hurting others and/or narcissistic need to make others feel bad for the superiority power trip. Of course, you might actually believe you're helping somehow, by being honest about what you think. That would be tragic in its own way.0 -
Maybe she really didn't want advice. Maybe she just wanted somebody to listen and care. You don't have to read her posts if it bothers you.
OP, you aren't the only one. What other people are failing to see is that binge eating isn't about just not eating at the wrong times or having more self control. Binge eating for emotional reasons is about feeling full with foods that you already know are bad because they are bad foods. Just because others on here are t addicted to food, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. I'm not addicted to meth but I'm not stupid enough to call a meth addict a disease faker. It sounds like the OP needs more understanding and less judgements. You aren't the only one feeling the way you do about food0 -
Maybe she really didn't want advice. Maybe she just wanted somebody to listen and care. You don't have to read her posts if it bothers you.
OP, you aren't the only one. What other people are failing to see is that binge eating isn't about just not eating at the wrong times or having more self control. Binge eating for emotional reasons is about feeling full with foods that you already know are bad because they are bad foods. Just because others on here are t addicted to food, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. I'm not addicted to meth but I'm not stupid enough to call a meth addict a disease faker. It sounds like the OP needs more understanding and less judgements. You aren't the only one feeling the way you do about food
Just like the meth addict the only solution is exercising self control. There is just no getting around that, I don't care what addiction you compare it to.0 -
Maybe she really didn't want advice. Maybe she just wanted somebody to listen and care. You don't have to read her posts if it bothers you.
OP, you aren't the only one. What other people are failing to see is that binge eating isn't about just not eating at the wrong times or having more self control. Binge eating for emotional reasons is about feeling full with foods that you already know are bad because they are bad foods. Just because others on here are t addicted to food, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. I'm not addicted to meth but I'm not stupid enough to call a meth addict a disease faker. It sounds like the OP needs more understanding and less judgements. You aren't the only one feeling the way you do about food
Please don't compare a meth addict to someone with food issues. It's NOT the same. And this is coming from someone who has dealt with food issues, including binge eating and compulsive overeating, and who has worked in a drug treatment facility helping drug addicts recover. Trust me, it is not the same.
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What's your BMI? Is it possible that you are 'binging' because your body truly needs the calories?0
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Amphetamines (Adderll/ Concerta/ Ritalin) plus heart condition= extreamly dangerous. Please be very careful!0
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You need a different therapist to help you sort out what's going on in your head. The Adderall is masking the problem - like breaking your leg and taking painkillers to fix it.0
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I have a confession to make. Due to my emotional addiction to food, I have been taking Adderall to suppress my appetite and give me much needed energy on and off for over a year. When I am on this medication, I work out hard, I eat a healthy balanced diet, and I feel fantastic. However, it exacerbates my heart issues which scares me off of the medication. I go off of it and emotionally eat, particularly at night, until I'm in severe pain. This happens every single day no matter how much support I seek, articles I read, distractions I create, runs/strength training I do, and therapy visits I go to. I feel powerless and hopeless. I gain the weight I lost on adderall back within less than a month and then some. It's absolutely miserable and I feel entirely out of control.
This is where I'm at. It sucks. I feel no different than a drug addict. I want to change, I know how badly I feel after I binge, and yet I fall into the same exact miserable pattern time after time. Am I alone?
There is nothing anyone here can do for you. I really dislike how often people here are told to go seek professional help, but in your case...you need to be first in line.0 -
Lourdesong wrote: »Sounds like you're in love with having problems, if you ask me.
And thanks for making picking up scripts every month a giant PITA. Appreciate it.
Blunt, but if I'm honest, it's kind of what I was thinking also.
Yeah, same here.0 -
herrspoons wrote: »It's probably a better understanding than yours to be honest.
Cuddles and kisses don't solve problems, sweetie, especially when they're rooted in what looks like a case of Munchausen's.
Oh, you're being honest. You must be right then!
Munchausen Syndrome is an extremely rare disorder. Indulging in callous troll-like behaviour like you're doing in this thread is much more common, usually arising from a sadistic pleasure in hurting others and/or narcissistic need to make others feel bad for the superiority power trip. Of course, you might actually believe you're helping somehow, by being honest about what you think. That would be tragic in its own way.
LOL, wut?... was all of that?? Pfft.
Anyway, I suspect you greatly underestimate the allure of parking one's fanny on the pity-pot. And apologies that I don't have a garbled mess of psychobabble for which to cloak that observation for you.
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I am so sorry that your going through that. I see your going to therapy but have you disclosed what you are doing to him/her? I don't pretend to know exactly whats wrong but I'm wondering if there is a fatigue type of issue/nutrition imbalance. If you don't feel comfortable telling a medical professional (which I still think you should), I think you should at least ask your doctor to do a cbc or other blood tests to check if you have low iron, hormonal imbalance or something that could be making you tired. I know when I'm tired I tend to binge like crazy because my body is crying out for energy. I bet you anything that the adderol could be covering up an underlying issue.0
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