Dealing with "food pushers"

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NoWeighJose74
NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
in Motivation and Support
Any of you have or know one of these? This is the type of person (usually a co-worker in mine and my wife's case), who, while they support your desire to lose weight, continually try to sabotage your success? Not necessarily in a malicious manner, but they just won't stop tempting you with treats or fatty foods.

In my wife's case, she has a co-worker who is always asking her to go to lunch with her at work. Lunch for her is typically unhealthy, usually a fast food joint, or sometimes a sit down restaurant. When my wife declines, they sometimes bring the food back. Instead of eating it at the reception desk or going to the lunch room she'll usually stroll through my wife's office, burger in hand or whatever else it is she got.

In my case, it's usually the cakes and ice cream my co-workers' spouses have made that they bring in for community consumption. Now mind you, that's not really food pushing I guess, since they leave it in the community fridge, but holy smokes it take monumental will to not open the fridge and stare at the sweet chocolatey goodness that's just calling my name.

Anyway, end rant. They won't get to me!

Replies

  • stephanielynn76
    stephanielynn76 Posts: 709 Member
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    This is part of the reason I've become a recluse since starting my journey back in January. I feel like people are either making disapproving comments towards my food choices and gym time or they are trying to sabotage my success by attempting to feed me. It's led to a lot of loneliness because now I'm avoiding friends and relationships... even my own mom. I need to find a better way to cope with this but I'm not sure how. At least my husband is supportive, for the most part. He does make joking comments sometimes but he NEVER tries to sabotage my diet and I'm grateful for that!
  • EmilyAnn89
    EmilyAnn89 Posts: 564 Member
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    they don't get to me either! just say no .. like drugs :) haha
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    I wont even go in that room when i know there's sugary sweets in there. I sit outside or in another room. It does take will power! good luck!
  • anolan807
    anolan807 Posts: 273 Member
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    I'm that person at work.. I am trying to stop it, but its hard.. I use to have a candy cabinet in my room. Finally got rid of it , but if I do have anything I love to share it with others. But I'm not the only one most my coworkers are like that. It is so hard when people bring in food I love. Will Power is something I have never had. Take each day and be strong that is what I'm trying to do. If I fail I just get up and try again...

    Good Luck
  • allystone
    allystone Posts: 134 Member
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    My mom is , I live at home..and even though she constantly states she's on a diet--she has some of the worst food in the fridge. I just windex whatever she usually leaves me for dinner down--and throw it in the trash-so I'm not tempted. :)
  • socialite51
    socialite51 Posts: 51
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    I know exactly what you are talking about. In my household there is a certain person that knows I'm making life changing decisions. However, that particular person always want to talk about or ask if they've cooked it, do I want some. Not trying to crude here, but how many times must I explain to you what I'm trying to do!!! To HELP me keep from screaming, I just exercise a little harder. For that effort I say in my mind, that the extra 15-30 minutes I spend working out was dedicated to the particular person...:mad: :drinker: And in the end I say Thank You...:flowerforyou:
  • cmaurer4
    cmaurer4 Posts: 33 Member
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    I have noticed how many sweets are at work in general, and decided just to ignore all of them completely. Sometimes I do get "guilted" if it's someone's birthday and I don't want to have a piece of the birthday cake, but whatev. I will admit, when family, friends, or neighbors give us sweets (especially around Christmas), I am that person that takes it in to work so OTHER people will eat it. I have to get it out of the house, but I don't guilt people into it!
  • NoWeighJose74
    NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
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    This is part of the reason I've become a recluse since starting my journey back in January. I feel like people are either making disapproving comments towards my food choices and gym time or they are trying to sabotage my success by attempting to feed me. It's led to a lot of loneliness because now I'm avoiding friends and relationships... even my own mom. I need to find a better way to cope with this but I'm not sure how. At least my husband is supportive, for the most part. He does make joking comments sometimes but he NEVER tries to sabotage my diet and I'm grateful for that!

    I'm lucky enough that my wife and are both in this battle together. We don't have kids, so it's easier to keep junk food out of the house. But it's when we go to work where we have to bolster our willpower.

    Although at home it doesn't help either when every other TV commercial is a fast food joint. DAMN YOU Dairy Queen blizzard commercials! lol
  • neuroticlin89
    neuroticlin89 Posts: 57 Member
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    I used to feel like this, ALOT. I had a best friend who did not understand or quite get why it was so important to me to eat healthy. It was especially disheartening because she could eat whatever she wanted and still look great.

    I feel like the best way to deal with that is first, realizing that in all of these situations, you have a CHOICE. You can choose to either to eat what your offered, or decline it. We have to realize that none of these people are going to force it down our throats.

    Another way to minimize this problem is to explain and convey to all of your friends and coworkers about how important eating healthy or losing weight is to you. Most of our friends would support us if we said we wanted start a family or aim to get a higher promotion at our job. Supporting and respecting our wishes to eat healthy is part of this as well, but for some reason many people don't view it that way. So, by really conveying how important this is to you can help as well. If someone can't respect that, then I would say to have one more conversation about it and if they still don't get it, its just better to avoid having meals with them.

    Also, if you are eating with people who keep offering you food and they just won't leave you alone until you do. Take a small bite. Don't make it a big deal, take a small bite. It's better then you eating the entire thing, and shift the conversation to something else rather then letting people focus on you not eating everything that they are. Also, drink a lot of water, and have your own meals ready. Sometimes, it helps to insist that you've already eaten and can't take in more. In addition to that, if you have already eating, you may put more effort in to decline what you are being offered.
  • crjugrl
    crjugrl Posts: 172
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    I'm SURROUNDED by them. I come from a Portuguese family and my in-laws are all Portuguese and Italian. There's always food and desserts everywhere and to decline is insulting to them. I take reeeeally small portions and still... they say "Have some more!" I feel like I should've starred in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Seriously. It's like they think compulsive eating is hereditary, and if it's not, you have some sort of genetic disorder. And I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard, "Watching your weight? Please. Eat something" or "Life's too short to be worrying about how you look so enjoy it." But as hard as it is not to fall into the trap, I'm seeing results.. and saying "no" or at least watching your portions is so worth it. I've come to learn quickly that I don't need a whole chocolate bar to satisfy a chocolate craving. Moderation is key. Of course when I'm around family I can't use the words "moderation" or "portion control". I simply put my hand on my stomach and tell them I'm full. Whatever works, right :ohwell:.

    :smile:
  • micki59
    micki59 Posts: 25
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    FUNNY :noway: thing just happened to me while here reading this topic...a MC DONALD's ad was floating around in the side bar for 2 filet of fish sandwiches for maybe $2..talk about temptation...I don't even like filet of fish but started thinking about those fries and some burgers....BAAAAD...:ohwell:
  • W0zzie
    W0zzie Posts: 262 Member
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    At work - noone in particular so that's a real boon :) And for the work MT (Morning Teas aka Mass Temptations) they surprised me big time when they included a fruit platter with the last one - big leap there.

    In house has had ups and downs but wow our household has come along way. The rest of my family seeing the change in me have come around (on their own) and now my wife & two sons are all on the MFP train at least in some form or another - woo wooo ! :) It's not all roses but I am really happy they have at least made the first step - recognising there is a problem - and are trying.
  • NoWeighJose74
    NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
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    FUNNY :noway: thing just happened to me while here reading this topic...a MC DONALD's ad was floating around in the side bar for 2 filet of fish sandwiches for maybe $2..talk about temptation...I don't even like filet of fish but started thinking about those fries and some burgers....BAAAAD...:ohwell:

    Isn't that just a kick in the keister? I've seen similar banner ads at just about every other fitness related site I've frequented as well. >.<
  • Steph70508
    Steph70508 Posts: 110
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    I deal with this at home AND at work. My (now ex) fiancee constantly brings home junk food. It is constantly in my face. I do my best to make healthy choices for myself and my children and he routinely cooks gluttonous dinners, brings home donuts, chips, and fast food. Recently he went to a local restaurant for take out and asked if I wanted anything. I told him no. He then proceeded to order my favorite dinner and dessert and bring it home to me...grrr!!
    I realize I have a choice in the matter and it won't get eaten unless I eat it, but I don't buy tempting things because I IKNOW I am weak! If its there I will eat it!
    Every weekend at work my co workers brings treats to "share" and make me feel bad for not indulging. Telling me I'm too thin and "a little won't hurt". For me a little leads to too much. They also regularly bring me food "presents". All I get from people when I explain my desire to eat healthy is that I could stand to eat a little more or that a little won't hurt. Eating more and eating a little of this and that lead to me getting fat in the past!
  • aromashchenko
    aromashchenko Posts: 2
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    I hate when my friends do the "try it! c'mon it's the weekend" type of thing.
    One successful tactic for me has been to give in and "try it" but one bite, not the whole croissant, or whatever it is. I don't need to eat the whole thing to "try" it.

    Another good tactic sound like this:
    "here's some ooie-gooie-chocolate-grease thing, you should have some!"
    "you know what, YOU should try some of MY nuts/fruit/berries"
    Counter them with something delicious/refreshing and always keep your stash of alternatives handy (at the office, etc.)

    I still can't go without candy/chocolate, but the trick again is quantity. I'm down to one piece, once a day, look forward to it all day, and still don't feel like I'm lonely for my chocolate.
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
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    I don't know if this will help, but consider: before I started logging my food, I really had no solid notion how many calories were in one piece of birthday cake. I could have told you that a hamburger at McDonald's was a better choice than a Big Mac, but I never would have guessed how much damage even a small French fry would do. The people who think you can unbend enough for Just One slice of cake, or Just A Little of whatever, or Just One Cheat Meal, may in fact be working from a position of total ignorance of how much damage that "little cheat" can do.

    Around my house, gentle education has helped. Pointing out that one smallish slice of birthday cake is 350 calories is very empowering. Knowing that a single gourmet cupcake is almost 800 calories helps not only with my willpower, but with their understanding, too. Saying "Listen, I love a Big Mac and fries, I really, really REALLY do, but that's almost a thousand calories and I only have 700 left for today, so I really can't afford it if I want to eat supper later" has led to increased understanding. But my family are very supportive. I feel great sympathy for anyone who is dealing with an unsupportive person.
  • lindseyborg
    lindseyborg Posts: 3
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    I come from an area that when you want to "hang out" you go get food. Whether its chinese buffet, mcdonalds, applebees, that's what you do when someone asks you to hang out. I've tried suggesting new ideas, like, hey lets go for a walk in the nature preserve! But I've ended up either giving in or turning down the "hanging out" all together =\
  • kim_mc
    kim_mc Posts: 321 Member
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    I am having the WORST problen with this at work. I do really good at home because my husband is very supportive but when I go to work there is always something there. People wamting to order take out and giving me grief when I don't want it. People bringing in snacks and saying things like "just have a little bit" "one won't hurt" or "I can't believe you are dieting or can't eat what you want".

    Why is it their business what I'm eating?? If I were to comment on the amount of calories in the food they are eating and tell them how fat they are going to get eatinf it, it would be inappropriate. So why is it ok to comment on what I'm eating???

    Should I say, you really shouldn't eat that pizza, your *kitten* is just gonna get HUGE?? I would never say that to anyone! But the minute I bust out something healthy I get grief the entire time I'm eating! "You don't need to lose anymore weight", etc.

    Do they know that I would love to eat what they are eating but that I can't stop once I start?? So they know that I don't want to erase all the hard work I have put in?? Do they know that I am trying SO hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle and it feels like I'm harrassed everyday that I go to work????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    What we eat is our business just as what they deicde to eat is there's. I'm not trying to stuff apples nd oranges down their throats so quit trying to stuff the donuts and pizza down mine!

    Wow- that felt pretty good!

    People should be supportive and not try to sabatoge!
  • neuroticlin89
    neuroticlin89 Posts: 57 Member
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    I come from an area that when you want to "hang out" you go get food. Whether its chinese buffet, mcdonalds, applebees, that's what you do when someone asks you to hang out. I've tried suggesting new ideas, like, hey lets go for a walk in the nature preserve! But I've ended up either giving in or turning down the "hanging out" all together =\


    i know what you mean. hangouts are generally centered around food. the best thing to do then is watch what you order so that you can eat with them but focus mainly on the good conversation and in general being with ur friends. its all about perspective sometimes. you can always ask certain foods to be unsalted or steamed or baked. some healthier alternative. small changes always help even if the overall meal isn't all that healthy.

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